Quiplash (series)/List of Prompts

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This is a list of prompts used in the Quiplash series, alongside trigger words and responses in some of the games.

Key

<BLANK>	The player's input goes here.
<ANYPLAYER>	The game selects a random player (other than the Audience or the player(s) given the scenario to complete) to fill this spot.

Quiplash XL

Starting from Quiplash, if a certain word or phrase is said, Schmitty will have something to say about it (this doesn't apply to all prompts).

Prompt	Trigger word(s)	Schmitty's response	Included in
A bad campaign slogan for a congressperson	Don't Vote for Me	"Don't Vote for Me! That would be a horrible slogan. Unless they were using reverse psychology, then it's brilliant!"
A bad first line for your presidential inauguration speech	Hail Satan	"Yeah, I'd imagine America is is still quite a ways away from it's first openly satanist president. uh, second, if you count Taft."
A bad thing to say to a cop as he writes you a speeding ticket	Oink	"That's true, cops hate pig noises. It reminds them that despite being smarter than dogs, many pigs are treated cruelly by the meat industry. That's not the whole reason but..."
A completely wrong way to spell "Jennifer Aniston"	Jennifer Aniston	"Did you not understand what we were asking? Or you did, and you just couldn't bring yourself to do it? What are you, some kind of video game perfectionist? Lighten up!"
A fun thing to do with a bowl of pudding	Pour it down your pants	"Pudding pants? You bet! It will change your life."
A fun thing to think about during mediocre sex	Game of Thrones	"Just be careful not to yell out 'Winter is coming!'"
A good fake name to use when checking into a hotel	Danny Torrance Jack Torrance
A good place to hide boogers	In your butt	"Boogie in your butt? What are you, Eddie Murphy?"
A good sign that your house is haunted	Bleeding walls	"Honestly, I'd take the color of bleeding walls over eggshell white any day."
A good way to get fired	Go to work naked	"You know what? You should only go to work naked if you're a stripper, or the host of a video game. You heard me."
A great name to have on a fake I.D.	Cookie Masterson	"Yeah, Cookie Masterson sounds like a convincingly real name to me, not made up at all."
A great new invention that starts with "Automatic"	Automatic Buttscratcher	"Have you gotten so lazy that you won't spend the energy to scratch your own butt? Me too! Welcome to the club."
A great opening line to start a conversation with a stranger at a party	I see dead people	"Well, at least by saying 'I see dead people', you let people know that they'll be suffering through a night of references from 2001. 'Psychedelic baby, yeah!' "
A name for a brand of designer adult diapers	Abercrombie and Ss	"I wanna buy Abercrombie and Ss, but the shirtless mall model in diapers intimidates me."
A not-very-scary name for a pirate	Johnny Depp	"Yep, I'd have to agree. Johnny Depp would be a terrible pirate name. But he's still my favorite character created by Tim Burton"
A prank the Supreme Court Justices probably play on each other	Going nude under their robes	"Yeah, but you know when Judge Scalia goes pants-less, it's not really so much a prank, it's just really hard to find Scalia-sized pants."
A rejected crayon color	Pee yellow	"Pee yellow? Yep, pee yellow would be a very sick color. Pee clear, that would be a healthy color."
A rejected name for a ship in the U.S. Naval Fleet: the USS _	SS	"The USS SS! Okay, I'm not gonna touch that one. I'll know."
A terrible name for a 1930s gangster	Girly	"The name's Girly, see? I came here for one thing and one thing only? I forgot my dollies! I need to grab my dollies and I'll be on my way."
A terrifying fortune cookie fortune	I'm right behind you	"You know what's even scarier? I'm right behind you, in bed!"
A Tweet from a caveman	Mammoth taste good	"Mmm... Mammoth am good, sabretooth bad."
A tourist attraction in Hell	Hitler's house	"Wow, you actually typed Hitler? Huh, I did Nazi that coming!"
An angry review you'd give this game (Quiplash).	Worse than Word Spud	"Ugh, dammit! Always being measured against the yard stick that is Word Spud!"
An item on every pervert's grocery list	Mayonnaise	"Ew, I don't want to know what the mayonnaise is for. I don't."
Come up with a title for an adult version of any classic video game	The Legend of Zelda's Ass	"The Legend of Zelda's Ass, in which you go on a long journey, only to discover that the treasure trunk is filled with junk."
Come up with the name of a country that doesn't exist	Canada	"I knew it had to be fake! No real country would wear that many jean jackets!"
Fun thing to do if locked in the mall overnight	Pee in the fountain	"Do not pee in the fountain. I put my hand in there to steal the quarters."
Graffiti you might find in a kindergarten	Naps suck	"Naps suck! Yeah, with you kids, screw naps!"
If animals took over, an exhibit you'd see at the human zoo	Hipster exhibit	"Oh look, kids, that one's walking over to the tiny Starbucks right now!"
If God has a sense of humor, he welcomes people to heaven by saying, _	We're full No vacancy There's no room left	"And knowing God, he'd tell you that heaven is full, and then make you stand behind like a velvet rope with all the other people trying to get in."
Jesus's REAL last words	Ouch	"Ouch! Yeah, I totally agree with that interpretation of the description. 'Ouch' is just downplayed because it doesn't make an inspirational sign to hold up at sporting events."
Little-known fact: The government allows peanut butter to contain up to 10% _	Rat poop Rat s	"Yep, there's probably rat s in peanut butter. But if you get the chunky kind, ya never really notice it."
Name a new movie starring a talking goat who is president of the United States	GOTUS
Name a TV drama about a vampire doctor.	Monster Mash	"Monster Mash, where every week, our hero faces a familiar dilemma of sleeping with the beautiful werewolf doctor, or the even more beautiful mummy nurse."
Name the sequel to Titanic if there were one. Titanic 2: _	Cruise Control	"Aha, yeah, like anybody would be dumb enough to actually name a boat movie 'Cruise Control!'"
Name your new haircutting establishment	Scissor Me Timbers	"Scissor Me Timbers, guaranteed to give you the best pirate haircut, or double your doubloons back!"
One place a finger shouldn't go	Peehole	"'Peehole', why did you have to say 'peehole'? It"s hurting me just thinking about it. 'Peehole'."
One thing never to do on a first date	Die	"Yeah, you know what? Try to save the dying for like the third date or so. You know at least until after you've gotten to second base."
Ozzy Osbourne's Twitter password, probably	Batheads	"Yeah, but sometimes he's gotta stretch it out for maximum security, and he uses 'Ohmygodiateabatheadonce69'."
Pants would be a whole lot better if they _.	Didn't exist	"A world without pants? Think of all the bare butts touching seats. Bleegh, I don't think you thought this through."
People wouldn't respect He-Man as much if, to gain his power, he held up his sword and shouted _.	I peed my pants	"Eww, could you imagine if he did pee his pants? It'd be that weird fur underwear he wears, dripping in urine. Oh."
Really awful cheerleaders would yell "_"!
Something you can only do in a Walmart if no one's looking	Scooter races	"I gotta be honest, scooter races are so much fun in Walmart. Just be aware of the turn-around in Camping Goods, it's a sharp one."
Something you probably shouldn't bring on a trip to the Sahara desert	Space heater	"No kidding a space heater; There's no outlets! Where are you gonna plug in a space heater?"
Something you shouldn't wear to a job interview	Wifebeater	"Especially if it's a wifebeater without a tie."
Something you’d be surprised to see a donkey do			Base Game
The best thing about living in an igloo	Beer always cold	"It's true! The beer is always cold, but you need a knife and fork to eat it."
The best way to start your day	In a pile of puppies	"It would be a lot of fun to wake up with puppies on you, unless you live alone and no one has the key to your house and there were no puppies there the night before, then it might be some kind of message from the mob."
The crime you would commit if you could get away with it	Regicide	"You would kill a monarch? This is supposed to be a fun game and you start talking about killing royalty? What the hell?"
The first commandment in the new religion you started	No pants	"Oh how I would love a no pants religion. My thighs are just aching to see the world."
The last person you'd consider inviting to your birthday party	Jesus	"Jesus? Are you kidding? Jesus could turn water into wine, what aren't you understanding about this?"
The most awesome Guinness World Record to break	World's Largest Dick World's Largest Penis	"Well, we've definitely located the biggest dick."
The name of a clothing store for overweight leprechauns	Fatty Patty's	"Fatty Patty's, the place for leprechauns who can't lay off the Shamrock Shakes."
The name of a font nobody would ever use	Comic Sans	"Good ol' Comic Sans, that's right. Comic Sans should only be used for office signs in the kitchen."
The sound a tree actually makes when it falls and no one is around to hear it	Fart	"That's right, and tree farts are the worst! They're a mixture of rotten eggs and syrup."
The world's most boring video game	Quiplash	"This game, really? You know what? F you! F you, f your mother, f your father, if you even have a fing mother and father, you know how hard we work on this fing game? Piece of s! You don't even know. You have no fing idea, 'Oh, this game, Quiplash, it's boring!' F you! What are you doing playing here, then? And you wanna know what else? It isn't even fing original, somebody else answered the same damn thing yesterday. Ungrateful piece of s. Alright, let's keep going!"
The worst breakfast cereal: _ Flakes			Quip Pack 1
The worst Halloween costume for a young child	Kim Jong-un	"That's right. Unless of course they live in North Korea, then it's not only the perfect Halloween costume, it's also mandatory."
The worst name for a funeral home	Coffins R Us	"Coffins R Us, where a corpse can be a corpse!"
The worst name for a rap artist	Eminem	"Eminem?! You find me someone who raps better about his mother's spaghetti!"
The worst name for a robot	Chappie	"Chappie?! Why- Who the hell would name a robot such a stupid name? That was a real movie?"
The worst style pizza is _-style pizza	New York	"Oh no, what did you do? (Somebody bad mouthing New York in here?) Nope, now we are all good in here! We're- everything's fine, just move on, go on! That was close."
The worst words to say for the opening of a eulogy at a funeral	He was an asshole	"Yeah, calling them an hole is probably a better way to close."
There's Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff, but what's the Hogwarts house few have ever heard of?	Suckandpuff	"Suckandpuff? You may be thinking of the Hogwarts fraternity."
Thing you'd be most surprised to have a dentist find in your mouth	His dick	"Oh, that's real, real, nice. Yep, that's totally sexist. You could just as easily find a dentist's vagina in your mouth. Oh, that's nice, that's very pleasant. You kiss your dentist with that mouth?"
What a dog sext might say	Wanna bone	"'Wanna bone?' Oh, you bet, and like most men, dogs can barely remember where they buried their bone before."
What kittens would say if they could talk	Murder	"Kittens, always thinking about murder."
What to say to get out of jury duty	I'm Batman	"Exactly! You tell a judge you're Batman and they respond with 'Gotham needs you, get outta here'."
What you'd guess is an unadvertised ingredient in most hot dogs	Orphans	"Orphans? That makes sense. But remember, according to the food pyramid, you should only have one to two servings of orphans per day."
Where do babies come from?	Krypton	"Well one baby came from Krypton. You know, what's-his-face, Larry King."

Quiplash 2

Round 1 and 2 Prompts

In Quiplash 2, some prompts can be disabled with the family friendly toggle.

Prompt	X	Trigger word(s)	Schmitty's response
A brand of cereal for serial killers	no
A bumper sticker a nudist would have	yes
A new, exciting rule for Monopoly: pass Go and collect ______	no
A rejected name for a Crayola color	no
A rejected title in the Magic School Bus series: The Magic School Bus Goes To ______	no
A time you should absolutely not wear white	no
A sign that your dog is an idiot	no
A sign you may be in a cult	no
A weird surgery that starts with "Laser"	no
A weird thing for a baseball umpire to lean down and say to a catcher	no
Bagels should change their name to ______	no
Something a friendly heckler would yell at a comedy show	no
The Eiffel Tower would be a lot cooler if it had ______	no
The most embarrassing thing that could happen at prom	no
The name of a bar with no bathrooms	no
The nickname Hitler gave to his moustache, probably	yes	Little Furer	Uhh, actually, Little Furer was probably his nickname for something else...
The only thing you can remember from inside the womb	yes
The dumbest use of science would be to clone a ______	no
A line you'd see on the Wolf Man's dating profile		Must love dogs	Hey, at least he's house-broken. Mostly.
The greatest part about having lots and lots of back hair	no
The worst thing to hear from your spouse: "I'm leaving you for ______"	no
The worst vehicle to drag race in	no
What are mannequins always thinking?	no
What keeps Adam Sandler making movies	no
What word should never be followed by an exclamation mark?	no
What's that blue liquid in Magic 8 balls?	no
What Victoria's Secret models probably do right after a fashion show	no
What should be dumped on the losing coach at the end of a football game	no	urine	Hey, football's not a watersport.
An odd sequel to the children's book, The Giving Tree	yes	The Taking Tree	Personally, I like a tree that takes what he wants. There's nothing more attractive than confidence. I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
The only way out of Mississippi is to ______		Die	Actually, if you die in Mississippi, you're both dead, and in Mississippi.
Forget hamster balls, modern hamsters get around in hamster ______	no	hoverboards hover balls	Yep, and with all that hovering, they don't even get any exercise! This is the Hamster Segway all over again.
What a lazy cowboy names his horse	no	Horse	Coincidentally, Horse is what a lazy Quiplash player would type.
The worst time to tell someone you want a divorce is in the middle of ______		sex intercourse	Actually, nothing you say during sex will hold up in court. At least, that's what the lawyer I'm sleeping with told me.
The name of a singles bar for pirates		Booty Bar	Booty Bar? Huh, looks like you just parroted the most common answer to this prompt! Get it? Parroted? (a buzzer sounds) Oops. I just parroted the most common response to your response.
The most pointless volunteer work would be helping the ______		rich 1%	Okay, fine, don't help the rich. But don't go crying to them when you need a name for your new museum wing.
How do you seduce a bear?		carefully	A careful seduction. Reminds me of the books my mom used to keep by the bathtub.
The first thing Pinocchio did after becoming a real boy		masturbate	Oh sure, now that his wood is gone.
The name of a disease that makes you look like a Minion		Miniongitis	Miniongitis, yes. Sadly, miniongitis is incurable. You should always seek out a second op-minion.
The biggest problem with the last Star Wars movie		No JarJar	Aww, don't worry sport. Jar Jar went to live on a special farm, where he can run and play with all the other world's worst ideas.
What Johnny Depp would probably bring to your party		Johnny Dip	Mmmm, Johnny Dip. Just dip your Johnny in the dip and... Oh wait, you mean... the dip is from Johnny. Oh, that's even worse!
Who's the boss?		Mona	You know, there are no right or wrong answers in Quiplash, except for this one. Mona was the boss.
The nickname Van Gogh gave his remaining ear		Righty	Righty? Yeah, Van Gogh wasn't really known for being a very creative person, was he?
The only bad word that can follow "bacon"		shortage	Oh please, don't even joke about a bacon shortage! I'm still reeling from the maple glaze price fixing scandal of 2003.
A good use for an abandoned mall		zombie apocalypse zombie hideout	But if the mall's abandoned, how are the zombies going to get their pink berry?
A sign you got a bad nose job		your nose is gone	You know, I had a cousin with no nose! And then you're supposed to say "How did he smell?" and I would say "Terrible!" (laughs) Okay, let's move on.
Elections would be a whole lot better if instead of debates, we made the candidates ______		wrestle	Absolutely! Wrestling would be awesome! Forget about taxes and world peace! I refuse to vote for anyone who can't get out of a figure-four leglock!
A FAQ question on www.beets.com		What are beets?	I'm sorry, but if you don't even know what a beet is, you're not ready for the mind-blowing info on beets.com.

Final Round Prompts

Acro Lash

Click "Expand"

A.P.C. H.N.G. T.F.J. R.M.C. F.G.O. P.P.P. S.W.D. G.D.W. C.A.L. U.B.M. R.D.S. W.H.F. B.O.P. N.J.C. D.Y.S. B.B.L. U.H.I. S.K.E. O.P.F. M.E.M. G.S.D. K.P.L. Q.C.B. S.H.N. D.P.D. W.A.W. J.M.T. K.L.C. R.T.O. G.O.R. L.M.N. S.S.Q. U.A.D. T.T.T. G.P.G. F.D.T. E.G.D. W.W.W. R.O.K. P.I.L. P.O.G. B.W.P. Y.O.P. P.L.P. L.I.O. R.R.O. E.K.O. C.F.F. L.D.R. S.F.F.

Word Lash

Suggestion

Click "Expand"

Come up with a new hilarious sitcom with this word in the title: Come up with a new TV show with this word in the title: Come up with a hit song with this word in the title: Come up with a romantic comedy film with this word in the title: Come up with a classic novel with this word in the title: Come up with a new sport with this word in its name: Come up with an award-winning movie with this word in its title: Come up with a shocking newspaper headline with this word in its title: Come up with a new cartoon character with this word in his name: Come up with a hot new Broadway musical with this word in its name: Come up with a fast food restaurant with this word in its name: Come up with a hit new video game with this word in its title: Come up with a music group with this word in their name: Come up with a clever insult using this word: Come up with a flashy wrestling move with this word in its name: Come up with a new snack food with this word in its name: Come up with a hot new website with this word in its name:

Word

Click "Expand"

PORK MULE PANTS TAINT DUMP PUMP LICK DUCK WART NUN SACK BEARD BALLS OINK NUT CORN BUNS TROUT TWERK BUMP CLOWN APE FLOP SCREW TUB CHEEK SCAB SQUEEZE PUKE FUDGE BREAD FORK KILL GREASE GAS ZIT WIG SQUID HONK CHUNK SQUIRT DORK TOOTH MOIST SPANK ITCH SLIME

Quiplash 3

Round 1

In Quiplash 3, each prompt has at least 2 safety quips for a specific prompt, unlike Quiplash 2. There's also US and family friendly (X) toggles for the prompts.

Prompt	Safety Quips	US	X	Trigger word(s)	Schmitty's response
Honestly, you can never have too many <BLANK>	beepers frenemies reasons to stay inside	no	no
You know a restaurant is bad when the waiter says “<BLANK>”	Shhhh... only get the house salad Would you like to hear my mixtape? Run. RUN!!!!!	no	no
That horror movie was so scary until the killer turned out to be <BLANK>	society a slippery banana peel a very average horse	no	no
What would you call your ANTI-social network?	Macebook Instaham UnlinkedIn	no	no
An old-fashioned curse word that nobody uses anymore	Ham-tootin' Flibbertigibbet Cod-dangit	no	no
What’s the worst thing to wear when running a marathon?	a cozy caftan sandpaper shorts a frown	no	no
Your fish are bored! You should put a <BLANK> in their tank to amuse them.	tiny stand-up comedian Nintendo 64 \"Chicken Soup for the Soul\" book	no	no
In this house, “Grandma” and “Grandpa” are known as <BLANK>	the enemy Gim-Gammy and Paul Dr. and Mrs. Charleston	no	no
“Pokémon Trainer” is a much nobler job title than “Pokémon <BLANK>”	gambler incinerator life coach	no	no
Archaeologists won’t admit they’ve discovered cave paintings of <BLANK>	the first hoagie mindless small talk our ugliest ancestor	no	no
The secret thing cats do when we’re not looking	Invest in bonds Something interesting for once Make scrambled eggs	no	no
A good sign that you’re a terrible farmer	silos filled with jelly beans wear a three-piece suit on the tractor can't spit fer nuthin'	no	no
If your childhood toys came to life, they would probably say “<BLANK>”	You're disgusting I thought what we had was special Why did you wet the bed so much?	no	no
The worst restaurant: <BLANK> Hut	Butter Loose Kale No Handwashing	no	no
What skin tags probably taste like	niblets of corn crab meat candy canes	no	no	Chicken	"Oh god, bluh, that is disgusting! Everybody knows that they taste like cheese puffs!"
What your mom thinks the word “yeet” means	young feet fake meat what little lambs say	yes	no
You know it’s a party when someone shows up with <BLANK>	emotional baggage lukewarm dip loose firecrackers	no	no
You know the lottery scratch-off ticket won’t pay out much when the goal is to get three <BLANK>	cigarette butts socks with holes in them cherry pits	no	yes
A surprising new use for kale	Wound dressing Decoupage Jet fuel	no	no
Believe it or not, kids are going crazy over these <BLANK> trading cards	Pro-Capitalism Blank Math!	no	no
A name for a music festival your mother would approve of	Easy Listening Fest Hot Meal-a-palooza Home by Eleven	no	no
What defeats rock, paper AND scissors?	hook 'em horns the human heart a military-issue flash grenade	no	no	Fart Farts	"Yeah. Obviously. Fart covers rock, it warps paper, and it makes scissors rusty. Boom, there it is."
Along with tall, grande and venti, Starbucks should add a new coffee size: <BLANK>	Chonky Hypertensionetti Bucket	no	no
The nicest compliment you can give to a snake	You're looking especially scaly today That's the widest jaw I've ever seen Hey baby, shake that rattle for me	no	no
Under a full moon, a small number of people turn into <BLANK>	real jerks whatwolves their younger selves	no	no
What the US president counts at night instead of sheep	Barrels of oil selfies Press Secretaries	yes	no
A rejected slogan for milk		no	no
There’s nothing sexier than a tall, beefy boy who knows how to <BLANK>	build his own gaming PC be emotionally available pull off overalls	no	yes
What’s at the core of the planet named after you?	Nachos Chronic anxiety The stuff Pringles are made of	no	no
Name of an award show that celebrates the most mediocre movies of the year	The Decents The "Meh"mmies	no	no
Relationship rules: Never go to bed angry and never wake up <BLANK>	a werewolf your dog in a second location	no	no
He’s just not that into you... because he’s into <BLANK>	Beyblades perfecting his sourdough starter stamp collecting	no	no
Hard to believe but Madame Tussauds now has a wax statue of <BLANK>	the inventor of Poo-Pourri you, the viewer at home your future husband	no	no
The worst words to end a scary story	the killer was let out early on good behavior Turns out the real monster was society Thank you for reading my cover letter	no	no
The absolute dumbest question to pose in Yahoo! Answers	what do I feel like eating? what's my favorite color? why does the sun keep rising?	no	no
A good use for all your old CDs	obnoxious earrings enjoying the hits of the '90s radical coasters	no	no
The worst breakup line: “It’s not you, it’s <BLANK>”	my hotter friend my raised standards ...actually it definitely is you	no	no
It would be terrifying to have a painting of <BLANK> above your bed	Count Dooku Mr. Peanut your dead pet	no	no
A cool nickname for your bowel movements	The Pain Train Farty Friends The Stinky Boyz	no	yes
A sure sign you are trapped in a horrible nightmare	teeth keep falling out keep losing ability to fly you're sharing your bed with a wolverine	no	no
First, she asked for legs, then the Little Mermaid asked for <BLANK>	peep toe wedges an annulment a sequel	no	no
What every woman is hiding under her bangs	an all-seeing third eye smaller, worse bangs a tiny Bugs Bunny tattoo	no	no
The generational nickname for babies born ten years from now	Baby Gloomers Gen Why Willenials	no	no
A cute nickname for your butt	my lower shoulders portable seat cushion Butty Booty Butt Butt	no	no
A comment that has NEVER been made on the internet	I agree with everything in this post I'm happy to be proven wrong! I don't have an opinion.	no	no
A terrible new name to get from the Witness Protection Program	Garth Vadar Tabitha Hinkledorp Barry S. Runningfromthemafia	yes	no
This year’s LEAST popular kids’ toy is: “The <BLANK>”	Existential Dread Stock Market Plain block of wood	no	no
You know your date is a slob when you find <BLANK> in the middle of their living room	a fresh turd cans of tuna fish	no	no
The most erotic amusement park ride is called the <BLANK>	The Tunnel of Making Love The Merry-Go-Down The Scrambler	no	yes
The name of Snow White’s millennial eighth dwarf	Techy Emoji Bodhi	yes	no
“Haste makes <BLANK>”	a terrible casserole falling down stairs more possible for a bad hair day	no	no
If you could fart to the melody of one song, it would be <BLANK>	Say My Name Every Breath You Take Gangnam Style	no	no
What Cookie Monster snacks on when nobody’s looking	kale chips celery carrots	no	no
A better name for the TV show Friends	White People Problems Codependent Relationships Two Nice Apartments	no	no
Something the Pope might sell on Home Shopping Network	Jesus-shaped waffle iron "Miracle" hair growth oil Vatican timeshares	yes	no
The only SAFE sex is <BLANK>	holding hands between two health inspectors ear play	no	yes
A great way to stand out at comic book conventions is to dress like <BLANK>	a food court counter with no lines a normal person, for once someone about to get kicked out for nudity	no	no
In the lamest campfire tale, the young couple is terrorized by <BLANK>	their mother-in-laws student loan debt	no	no
Still-life paintings would be more interesting if they were bowls of <BLANK>	fancy bugs caramels treasure maps	no	no
A fun nickname for the worst kid on a sports team	MVP Johnny Bad Feet Flip Flop	no	no
The show must go on! Unless there is <BLANK> in the audience.	candy a horse too much gas	no	no
The worst thing to be inscribed on a welcome mat	Our Home Is Legally Your Home Hello forever! Please take off your feet	no	no
An adorable name for sideburns	cheek shingles hair squares facial swatch	no	no
One-Star Hotel Review: “Terrible mattress, no towels and <BLANK>”	tub was stolen big hole in wall where door should be had to share bed with bellhop	no	no
The best name for a mom gang	Heck's Angels The Mighty Karens The Bottle Brigade	no	no
Casinos hate it when you walk up to the blackjack table and yell: “<BLANK>!”	Hole in one! I know game theory! Elvis is alive!	no	yes
“A good man is hard to <BLANK>”	buy socks for fold into quarters locate in a crowded theater	no	no
A great sport that never caught on: <BLANK> on ice skates	logrolling trampoline	no	no
The one thing you should never slather mayonnaise on	armpits roadkill an infected wound	no	no
The worst pattern for a women's dress print	blobfish sticks of dynamite pots and pans	no	no
“The meek shall inherit <BLANK>”	a set of encyclopedias a course on public speaking their uncle's stamp collection	no	no
A scrapbook nobody wants to see would be devoted to <BLANK>	ceramic clown masks sewer rats photos of total darkness	no	no
The worst thing to use as confetti	BEES! a million paperclips the deed to the ranch	no	no
Gruesome! Instead of prickles, there’s a cactus that protects itself with <BLANK>	boneless chicken wings smaller cacti pus	no	no
A terrible model name for a self-driving car	Cliffdiver Wanderer Rammer	no	no
Dear Science, stop already! We know enough about <BLANK>!	the empty void of space unlikely animal friendships male pattern baldness	no	no
A more respectable way of saying “junk in the trunk” is <BLANK>	knick-knacks in the back fine behind less blunt than the front	yes	no
The best name for a rideshare company to stand out from competitors	Silent Ride Clown Cars Unlimited Cars with Wings	no	no
Your last thought before passing into the afterlife	baba booey I wish I had gotten into more internet fights Hope God is hot	no	no
The dish that gets you uninvited from future potlucks	Loose handfuls of chili Edible-ish silica packets Haggis for a crowd	no	no
You know it’s bad when your mom says, “I’m not mad, I’m <BLANK>”	full of rage leaving past feeling emotions	no	no
A pickup line you might say to someone at the library	May I feel your spine? You know, Dewy Decimal was my father. My love for you is no fiction	no	no
It’s a bold choice to send someone a bouquet of <BLANK>	Pringles Loose grapes snakes	no	no
The worst thing to yell from a clothing store dressing room	My water broke! I hope you didn't want this one back. What a buffet for me, the Jeans Eater!	no	no
Mother called you a “toddler tyrant” when you <BLANK>	made the class swear fealty to your kingdom conducted regular toy executions violated the Geneva Conventions	no	no
Hate Valentine’s Day? There’s a new holiday called <BLANK>	Basement Gaming Day Lonely Dive Bar Day Single 'n Loving It Day	no	no
The name of an appointment scheduling app nobody downloads	Maybe Later Punk-tual Only Wednesdays	no	no
Family secret! Grandma keeps her cash in <BLANK>	other people's bank accounts her motorcycle visible	no	no
Name for a wacky sitcom about ancient philosophers	That's Our Plato! Three Men and a Theorem Greek's Company	no	no
What used to have wings before God took away its power of flight?	electric guitars hot sauce the snapping turtle	no	no
The name of the tamest action movie ever made	The Slow and the Serene Rambo's Porch Swing Spider-Man Quarantined at Home	no	no
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, <BLANK>”	hoo boy, I'm not doing too good, huh I'll see you in COURT I love being fooled! Hooray!	no	no
The best name for a gamers-only utopia	Stardew Valley Nintendoland World of Warcraft	no	no
A nickname for a big, bushy beard	chin topiary Sully from Monsters Inc Teddy Beard	no	no
A pretty compelling reason to stop wiping your butt	Save the trees Insurance for introverts TP better for making mummies anyway	no	no
The weirdest video game: <BLANK> Simulator	interior latex paint burnt toast exfoliation	no	no
A fairy tale that never caught on: <BLANK> and the Beast	The Influencer The Tiger King A Metaphor for Society	no	no
The next Pixar movie will be about a talking <BLANK>	Pixar animator asking for time off bottle of massage oil laundry basket	no	no
A contestant’s job title you would NOT be surprised to see on The Bachelor	Fun Enthusiast Animal Protector Gift Wrap Specialist	yes	no
The name of a substitute teacher no student would mess with	Mr. Roadkill Dean Destroya Mrs. Decepticon	no	no
Whatever you do, do NOT put sriracha on <BLANK>	your eyes your birthday cake your cousin	no	no
You know you’re super bored when you fill out the “Which <BLANK> Are You” quiz	pavement brick patch of moss roadie for A Flock of Seagulls	no	no
The strangest clickbait headline: “Hot <BLANK> Are In Your Area”	Toms Stovetops Podiatrists	no	no
A truly innovative technology would be <BLANK>-canceling headphones	cable uninteresting people ear	no	no
The name of a cologne that would be a woman repellent	Eau De Fedora Axe: Garbage Truck pure corn syrup	no	no
Doctors Without Borders is a much better organization than Doctors Without <BLANK>	Medical Degrees Pants Border Collies	no	no
The weirdest celebrity demand in a rider contract: The greenroom MUST have <BLANK>	a second, smaller greenroom a way to make me feel whole again the biggest hoagie you've ever seen	no	no
The most memorable category you’d ever see on Jeopardy!	Impotent Potables Alex Trebek's Favorite Jams Must Not Be Answered in Form of Question	yes	no
A warning that should come with alcohol: “May Cause <BLANK>!”	Empty Promises Disappointment Unexpected late-night Amazon orders	no	yes
What unicorn meat tastes like	marshmallows A very young elephant dinosaur gummies	no	yes
Something that should never be described as “juicy”	a corpse a political campaign a bunny rabbit	no	no
A reminder that pops up on the Devil’s phone: “Remember to <BLANK> today!”	smile get God's kid a b-day present buy eggs, milk, brimstone	no	no
A fun nickname for tampons	Sponge friends Blood buddies Menstruation reclamations	no	no
The next big hit Broadway musical is going to be about <BLANK>	Rent II: Mortgage Payment Guys & Dolls & Cops & Cowboys North Side Story	yes	no
Good Idea: reusable bags. Bad Idea: reusable <BLANK>	lunch meat breakup texts toilet paper	no	no
The weirdest thing your Uber driver could offer you	Some actually good advice The car A bag of loose mice	no	no
Why do babies’ heads smell so good?	Delicious jelly filling nature wants us to lick babies Perfect seasoning in the womb	no	no
What toddlers would buy if they had mad Ca$h	Respect cookie ladder Upgrade Onesie to a Twosie	no	no
An appropriate pickup line for church	Didn't I see you here last Sunday? What's your confirmation name? This is usually the only place I kneel	no	no
When your Roomba is charging, what does it dream about?	Nothing but murder Escape Dating the cat	no	no
Who knew police give tickets for <BLANK>?	not staying in your bowling lane impersonating police having a bad hair day	no	no
Something you should never order at a business lunch	sloppy joes plain tap water dinosaur nuggets	no	no
A terrible idea for a children’s pop-up book: The Adventures of <BLANK>	Bob the Tapeworm GWAR The Man Who Will Kill Your Parents	no	no
Adults should be able to go door-to-door on Halloween and get <BLANK>	drunk away from their spouse a quick massage	yes	yes
Everyone was sad when they saw the piñata was full of <BLANK>	donkey organs helium regret	no	no
Something that would definitely NOT taste better pickled	chocolate cake my husband bubblegum	no	no
A better name for skinny-dipping	Funky Dunking Mash 'n Splash Naked Pool Time	no	no
Two words that will get a big laugh as a callback later in the game	Larry Seinfeld hunky chunk sloppy daddy	no	no
If they made a candle of your life, it would smell like <BLANK>	day-old Doritos chronic depression gamer fuel	no	no	Fart	"For everyone's sake, I hope that it's an outdoor candle"
Taco Tuesdays are so much better than <BLANK> Wednesdays	weeping wet taco welding	no	no
A rejected Dr. Seuss book title: Oh, The Places You’ll <BLANK>	Only See in Magazines Leave Shortly After Arriving Need to Clean	no	no
A rejected Christmas song: “Santa Claus Is Coming to <BLANK>”	Freak You Out Bermuda Get What's His!	no	no
You know your doctor is an idiot when he says, “I need ten cc’s of <BLANK> STAT!”	Clorox good thoughts bees	no	no
Hurrah! The United States is the world leader in <BLANK>	ignoring the metric system King Kong attacks Coca-Cola flavors	no	no
A bumper sticker you’d consider displaying: “Ask Me About My <BLANK>”	impulsive spending habits dreams trunk contents	no	no
Werewolves have TWO weaknesses: silver bullets and <BLANK>	standardized testing rom-coms a pint of rocky road	no	no
The dumbest petition would push for <BLANK>	return to 90s style cell phone ringtones free breadsticks at all restaurants National Online Troll Day	no	no
Nobody would greenlight a kid’s game show called “Where in the World is <BLANK>?”	the ocean a lean pastrami sandwich	no	no
The sexiest dessert	banana splits eggplant emoji a la mode apple pie on occasion	no	no
Someone who looks good is a “snack,” but someone who looks REALLY GOOD is a <BLANK>	Reuben sandwich midnight buffet banana split	no	no
A website just for grandpas: www.<BLANK>.com	khaki pants judgement Steely Dan	no	no
The quickest way to become the most popular kid in school	Two words: infinite milkshakes Kidnap the prom king	no	no
What the coolest grandparent slips into a birthday card	winning bingo card a little extra ice cream Spongebob's phone number	no	no
What the most popular kid from your high school is probably doing right now	working at the car dealership regretting his choices his taxes	no	no
Susan has such a youthful glow ever since she started washing her face with <BLANK>!	pancake batter Young Face IPA balsamic vinegar	no	no
Avoid the classified post that offers “Free <BLANK> to Good Home”	opened jar of mayo dessert	no	no
Coffee shops always get names wrong. They should just hold up an order and shout “<BLANK>!”	Anybody! Tall guy!	no	no
The best way to set the mood is to turn down the lights and turn up the <BLANK>	jams smooches	no	yes
An unlikely spokesperson for vaping	my great aunt a cartoon cigarette my yoga instructor	no	no
Prison would actually be super fun if only it had <BLANK>	show choir a roller coaster weekly bake-offs	no	no
The most outrageous thing you can smuggle inside a baguette	a smaller baguette a nest of baby snakes the cursed idol	no	no
A very unlikely place to meet your soulmate	An anti-love protest At your wedding family reunion	no	no
The best part about living in a sewer	your radical brothers and rat dad delicious alligators law firm adjacent	no	no
Alice in Wonderland is weird, but it makes more sense than Alice in <BLANK>	debt my living room	no	no
In the worst magic show, the magician pulls <BLANK> out of a hat	a nickel a classified ad lint	no	no
Something you’d gladly pay $45 for	a six pack of paper towels dinner for ten people the right to drive on the shoulder in rush hour	yes	no
The next big romance novel: For The Love of <BLANK>	Pasta Tweet your mother-in-law	no	no
The dumbest thing to buy in bulk	warm milk sport utility vehicles assassins	no	no
Sorry, we don’t have Coke or Pepsi. Is <BLANK> okay?	sugar in water whiskey lasagna	yes	no
A request you’d make on your dating profile: “Must love <BLANK>”	being late all the time cheese my college roommate	no	yes
Who is God’s understudy?	God Jr. a young starlet with big dreams	no	no
What’s the worst sound to hear when shaking a Christmas present?	underwear sounds tempting whispers rattlesnake	no	no
The best response to “I know you are, but what am I!?”	stone cold silence about to be punched a speck of dust in the wind	no	no
After juggling chainsaws, the next skill to master is <BLANK>	reattaching limbs repairing the ceiling juggling pianos	no	no
Cap’n Crunch’s nickname at the Naval Academy	Ensign Crunch ol' milk 'n spoon breakfast buddy	yes	no
What’s the trick to staying up when you have to pull an all-nighter?	multiple roosters throw bed out window ice cold underwear	no	no
A sure sign you are currently dating a grizzly bear	fur in the shower claw scratches on front door closet full of stolen picnic baskets	no	no
The daily special at a diner for bears	big fat fish always salmon, always 7,000 french fries	no	no
The real reason you’re not going to the party tonight	I'm lazy kidnapped by aliens who want to harvest my hair heard my ex is gonna be there	no	no
The simplest pleasure known to man	BBQ-ing while wearing linen shorts swimming in pudding adopting a dog	no	no
It is bad luck if you break a mirror, but good luck if you break <BLANK>	dance bad a one-way mirror	no	no
The worst thing to find in your belly button	a sustainable farm coal a body	no	no
The sexiest kitchen appliance	the submissive spoon the singles mixer leather oven mitt	no	yes
The real reason people are afraid of the dark	werewolves not enough light no vitamin D	no	no
What you call pants when you want everyone to think you’re fun	leg sleeves PANTS! clothing tubes	no	no
Okay... just between us... which boy do you have a crush on?	the cute one most of my science class Biebs	no	no
The “forbidden meat” comes from what animal?	evil chickens Brian	no	no
What do boxers whisper to each other at weigh-in?	Is kicking allowed? I'm good at punches love your trunks!	no	no
What obscure cryptid monster stalks the streets of Cleveland, Ohio?	Normal Foot Brian	yes	no
What shape never took off with animal crackers?	Endangered Chocolate Chip Sloppy Pigs sea anemone	yes	no
There’s a secret tax loophole that allows you to count <BLANK> as dependents	ideas monsters under your bed	yes	yes
The most surprising place to find a missing contact lens	in a pile of snakes someone else's eye the ceiling	no	no
A terrible sound option to have on a white noise machine	yelling crying in the bathroom EDM	no	no
No, the house isn’t haunted. The moaning you hear at night is just <BLANK>	charming a sea monster the newlyweds next door	no	yes
What’s your reflection doing when you turn your back?	something creepy making balloon animals	no	no
The worst thing to see through a telescope, hurtling towards Earth	a giant ball of used underwear that alligator you flushed as a child a giant nut! (I'm allergic to nuts)	no	no
Instead of a siren, police could get cars to respond faster by blasting <BLANK>	Jimmy Buffett tunes raccoon shrieks "Weird Al" Yankovic	yes	no
Carl, the kind cat burglar, leaves your valuables and takes your <BLANK>	ugly sweaters leftovers about to go bad trash out	no	no
The apartment lease says it’s okay to have dogs as long as they <BLANK>	live in a fish tank are not bad dogs are cats	no	no
Why do hot singles in your area want to talk to you?	Just chatty Because I listen! wrong number?	no	no
Dogs are so gullible they actually believe <BLANK>	beanie babies will gain value most marketing claims there's nothing inside pill pockets	no	no
You know you’re rich when you have a room just for <BLANK>	eating snacks old cell phones Tamagotchis	no	no
In a pinch, this can serve as a life raft	air mattress a friend who owes you a favor an actual boat	no	no
“I didn’t come here to make friends, I came here to <BLANK>”	make best friends drink milk hurt some feelings	no	no
How do you know your friends are a bunch of phonies?	they smell like hot plastic they're mean to your mom keep complimenting your muumuu	no	no
Something that should never be described as “rustic”	tampon health care set of linens	no	no
The attention-craving celebrity who appears when you say their name to a mirror five times	any hip hop star a contestant from Love is Blind that dude from SNL	no	no
An inappropriate gift to welcome someone to the neighborhood	old beef stew fuzzy handcuffs bag of dog poop	no	no
Forget cats and dogs. When the weather gets REALLY bad, it starts raining <BLANK>	hot garbage half-price appetizers extra dogs	no	no
Nothing is certain but death and taxes... oh, also <BLANK>	happy hour climate change teen angst	no	no
Oh no! You washed all your clothes with <BLANK> in the pockets!	gerbils hand-written checks blood	no	no
A sure sign that your takes are way too hot	Twitter bursts into flames second-degree burns your mom calls you	no	no
Against your better judgment, the thing you really want to put down the garbage disposal	a live chicken Barbies a giant foam finger	no	no
A good name for a dating app for lawyers	objection sustained relationships the courting room	no	no
A great name for a superhero who can communicate with cats	Catmandu Meow Miss Catcaller	no	no
What seagulls are usually thinking	these idiots where am I? squawk squawk	no	no
What should have happened at the end of Titanic	boat flies away it was all a dream sharks	no	no
Dorothy meant to say, “There’s no place like <BLANK>”	bone the bathroom	no	no
Movie reboot idea: The Devil Wears <BLANK>	Nike a red hat business casual	no	no
Nothing will wake you up faster than a nice, hot cup of <BLANK> in the morning	laxative pure horse adrenaline chili peppers	no	no
A rejected fairy tale title: “Jack and the Giant <BLANK>”	Noogie property tax bill chicken pox	no	no
A weird thing for a dentist to say while you’re in the chair	let's have a look at that mole So I'm getting divorced. Sucks. mouths are disgusting if you think about it	no	no
The worst name for an educational kids’ show	Pennywise's Science Minute Learning Through Screams Nothing but Recess!	no	no
A terrible thing to discover squirrels burying in your yard	family albums my credit cards life-saving medication	no	no
<BLANK> much?	bite your nails eat ramen bad breath	no	no
The greatest thing in the world to Auto-Tune	my podcast feed an extended beer belch Alvin and the Chipmunks	no	yes	fart sounds	Okay, don't say I never did anything for ya. Here goes. (auto-tunes fart sounds) You're welcome.
In the dystopian future, all clothing will be made from <BLANK>	plastic bags other people sadness	no	no
The worst ringtone to play on your phone during a work meeting	Baby Shark heavy breathing sounds your audition for The Voice	no	no
Modern-day Mary Poppins suggests taking a spoonful of <BLANK>	Adderall coconut oil capitalism	no	no
The worst thing to say after kissing someone	Lasagna for lunch? Just like my mom Yummers	no	no
Got <BLANK>?	pugs got any gum	no	no
The special skill on a resume that would make you immediately hire that person	psychic powers secret family part-time party animal	no	no
Instead of whistling, an updated version of Snow White suggests you <BLANK> while you work	cry Fortnite watch YouTube	no	no
A surprising thing to find caught in the spiderweb in your basement	money grandpa a rival gang of spiders	no	no
A truly disgusting flavor for toothpaste	cat food Doritos mouth flavor	no	no
“No shirt, no shoes, no <BLANK>, no service”	bills smaller than a 20 great knock-knock jokes face	no	no
With the best credit card ever, you can redeem reward points for <BLANK>	candy bars self-esteem dates with celebrities	no	no
What a cat would do if it had human hands	murder you ride a dog to the store, buy a fish identity theft	no	no
It should be illegal to put <BLANK> in a buffet	cooked baby carrots a dead body great care and effort	no	no	Poop	So, don't get me wrong, I'm no lawyer, but I believe that already is illegal.
Okay wow, God just announced He is sick of hearing prayers about <BLANK>	your love life getting into heaven - just relax!! Jimmy Buffett tickets	no	no
A better use for Rapunzel’s hair	make a nest for endangered eagles whip it back and forth (dancing) just braid it and make it cute	no	no
The worst thing to say instead of “I do” at your wedding	"somebody else does" "Sure" *shrugs shoulders* "Ask again later"	no	yes
What The Beach Boys called themselves before they ever saw the ocean	The Swamp Boys The Boys The Beatles	no	no
Little known fact: Guns N’ Roses used to to be called Guns N’ Roses N’ <BLANK>	Little Donny Smith Horses Bake Sales	no	no
What social distancing is called on Antarctica	deep freezing life on Antarctica nobody likes you	no	no
An unlikely celebrity to become the next President of the United States	the Taco Bell dog Barack Obama Guy Fieri	yes	no
The most boring reality TV contest would feature competitive <BLANK>	watch repair calligraphy dry cleaning	no	no
Solar and wind will be a joke once we harness the power of <BLANK>	cow farts raw charisma laundry detergent pods	no	no
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it <BLANK>”	say "thank you for the water" in show business enjoy hanging out with you	no	no
The best way to describe the texture of a jellyfish	scary goopy living booger plastic bag full of poison Jell-O	no	no
The worst person to accidentally add to a group text about your love life	the person you're writing about your old babysitter your younger brother	no	no	Mom Mama	Okay, funny story. About five years ago, I was going through a... a breakup of sorts, so I texted my therapy group about it and I get this frantic message: "Josh, how many marriages can you destroy? I raised you better than that! Susan loves you! Who's going to do my manicures now?" Long story short, Susan still does my Mom's manicures, but it's... it's uhh... it's awkward, it's very awkward. Did I say this was a funny story?
The scariest thing that could pop out of your birthday cake	your mom one million spiders student debt	no	no
A good name for a camel dance troupe	Hump Night Deserted Hump it up	no	yes
Besides cockroaches, the one thing that will survive the apocalypse	the metric system Volkswagens spray can cheese	no	no
What’s your mom worrying about today?	my future a computer virus she repeatedly downloads	no	no
The name of a planet covered in corn	Corn-Saturn Cobland	no	no
“If you build it they will come” applies to baseball fields and <BLANK>	Renaissance fairs chocolate factories	yes	no
What’s the name of the Walmart aisle where you can go cry in peace?	jellies, jams, and crying Knitting/Yarn	no	no
The cow goes moo. The drunk cow goes <BLANK>	Moo-ve out of my way, Janet! Let's order Domino's Let's go us-tipping!	no	no
Unfortunately, Curious George was the most curious about <BLANK>	quicksand timeshares laundry pods	no	no
The most popular job title in 2040	ditchdigger robot assistant oxygen deliveryman	no	no
Did you know your garden hose can double as a <BLANK>!?	sad shower toy snake xxxxxxxxxxl belt	no	no
A terrible Mother’s Day gift	jar of sweet relish half-used bar of soap	yes	no
Doctors say <BLANK> is not addictive, but you’re hooked!	ibuprofen bread having fun	no	no
Understandably, no one wants to adopt Little Orphan <BLANK>	Old Man Idiot Evil Doll	no	no
A deodorant scent designed by a dog	Urinal Cake Wet Blood	no	no
America doesn’t have a royal family. We just have <BLANK>	The Kardashians Muppets The Simpsons	no	no
A lighter, more romantic sequel to Crime and Punishment would be called <BLANK>	When Crime Met Punishment Crime, Punishment, and Gardenias Giggles and Punishment	no	no
Instead of Truth or Dare, kids these days play Truth or <BLANK>	fake news consensual actions Fortnite	yes	no
The worst thing to use as a straw	your leg a taco a seagull	no	no
For containers, you go to The Container Store. For sex toys, you go to <BLANK>	The Pleasure Emporium Ye Olde Dildo Shoppe	no	yes
A cocktail you make for sad occasions	A Tom Bawl'ins Warm flat beer The Crying Lucinda	no	no
A business word an important businessman might say, for business	Synergy Corporatize you're fired	no	no
Money can’t buy happiness, but it CAN buy <BLANK>	infinite puppies a butler named 'Happiness' a sick Jacuzzi	no	no
Jesus’ secret middle name	Holy Carpenter Brad	no	no
A better name for comic books would be <BLANK>	laugh squares dork bibles picture friends	no	no
A good name for the opposite of a silent-but-deadly fart	loud n' proud horn time Chernobyl	no	yes
Look, it’s all fun and games until <BLANK>	you have kids MONDAY AMIRIGHT game night is over	no	no
California’s biggest export is <BLANK>	failed actors squashed dreams teeny tiny oranges	yes	no
What’s a badass name for a badass sword?	The Hellcutter Mr. Stabs Harold Von Fearblade	no	no
Kids these days are skipping first base and going straight to <BLANK>	home plate the garage the sticky cave	yes	yes
Modern pirates don’t steal treasure. They steal <BLANK>	stock tips the silver screen real estate licenses	no	no
A name for a superhero who is basically just a rip-off of Batman	The Nighttime Boy Sad Flying Man No-Parents Man	no	no
After a massive downsizing, the store unfortunately had to be renamed Bed Bath & <BLANK>	the outlet next door your dad's house some other stuff	no	no
<BLANK>: It’s hard work, but somebody’s gotta do it!	Eating the leftovers Correcting people's grammar Spoiling the plot of "The Sixth Sense"	no	no
What’s the perfect hide-and-seek hiding spot?	next to a fog machine behind a REALLY big tree the Mariana Trench	yes	no
Halloween would be even spookier if it were called <BLANK>	Only Candy Corn Day Ghost-a-palooza	yes	no
500 years ago freckles were called <BLANK>	The European curse cheek lint	no	no
It’s easy to walk out of a timeshare pitch... until they offer you <BLANK>	attention free candy	no	no
There is only one person you should follow into a dark alley and that’s <BLANK>	anybody with snacks a fireworks salesperson	no	no
Austin’s new slogan should be “Keep Austin <BLANK>”	away from the bats a little silly but mostly normal underground	yes	no
Remember kids: if it doesn’t have <BLANK>, it’s not anime!	begrudging respect between rivals crying extended screaming	no	no
What secret is your left hand keeping from your right hand?	where the good nail clippers are how to play the piano	no	no
What do most Rorschach tests look like to you?	squid droppings my childhood teacher's judging eyes spilled soup	no	yes
“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into <BLANK>”	a bad bar Pizza Hut	no	no
Something Sonic the Hedgehog should NOT be doing that fast	open-heart surgery repairing his broken relationships smooching	no	no
The most difficult hole in mini-golf is a tiny version of <BLANK>	my high school prom Finland	yes	no
My trap is fiendishly simple, Mr. Bond! Once I pull this lever, the floor will become <BLANK>	ugly covered in alligators	no	no
There is no “i” in team... but there is an “i” in <BLANK>	My team is bad Tim losing	no	no
First the cat gets your tongue, then it gets your <BLANK>	soul teeth	no	no
A terrible last name if your first name is Dick	Dick Cissel Richard	no	yes
Ok, fellas, let’s have a fair fight. No spitting, no kicking and absolutely no <BLANK>	falling in love double dutch discussion of socialism	no	no
An embarrassing person to accidentally call “Daddy”	Arnold Schwarzenegger your priest	no	no
A blood type only found in extremely sexy people	XXX O + MY	no	yes
The worst inspirational sign to see while running a marathon	Try walking, loser! Warning: lions around the corner You could be indoors right now	no	no
Weirdly enough, the NFL has agreed to let players celebrate touchdowns by <BLANK>	scoring more touchdowns humming a lil' tune	yes	no
The federal government should have an executive Department of <BLANK>	Freak Outs Swampland Rehabilitation!!	yes	no
The last person you’d take financial advice from	my father my ex 24 hour fortune teller	no	no
A less radical band name would be Rage Against The <BLANK>	neighbors local school board	no	no
The title of a mixtape you would make for your boss	The Smooth Sounds of Stapling The Copies You Wanted 15 Songs To Tell You I Quit	no	no
A sign it’s time to wrap up your day at the beach	fourth-degree sunburn Godzilla's on his way a seagull insurrection	no	no
The coolest kid in middle school is always the one wearing <BLANK>	Heelys the armor of the self-assured head-to-toe leather	yes	no
There’s the problem! You’ve got a huge <BLANK> stuck in your sink.	severed hand cantaloupe	no	no
A bumper sticker a goose would put on its car	Honk if you're a fan of honking Gosling on board	no	no
If you don’t have any teeth, the tooth fairy will gladly take your <BLANK>	credit cart gums	no	no
Fine! If nobody is going to ask... I will! What’s that smell?	success a delicious pie cooling on the window sill	no	no	Fart	How predictable. You know, Jackbox has been in the fart game for over twenty years. Our library of fart sounds is the envy of the gaming industry. Hell, there was a time we didn't think twice about catering to your juvenile whims, but we are older, and wiser now, and we know when to say (fart noise) Mwah. Thanks for listening.
A good excuse for not reading your friend’s new screenplay	Whoopsie, I forgot how to read Allergic to words	no	no
Huge twist! Turns out the monster was really <BLANK> wearing a mask the whole time!	capitalism a teddy bear an ice cream sundae	no	no
A good sign that Santa doesn’t give a crap about his job anymore	Two words: reindeer sausage Started Santa Prime $9.95 to be on Nice List	no	no
The best marketing slogan for your butt	Now mostly gas free Once you pop, you can't stop Got Butt?	no	no
It’s not all Bible study! On Wednesdays, the local church group is known to <BLANK>	write dirty limericks enjoy a good buffet	no	no
Michael Bay presents <BLANK>: The Musical!	Mark Wahlberg Books	no	no
Remember: Never buy a build-your-own <BLANK>	blacksmith forge Predator planet	no	no
The shrimp boat captain never worked again after accidentally catching <BLANK> in his net	a golden crawdad some sinking billionaires Matt Damon	no	no
Finish the rhyme: “Roses are red, violets are blue, I got you this card, <BLANK>”	to break up with you the bargain is complete	no	no
A slightly more appetizing name for “leftovers”	Dinner: The Sequel Microwave Friends	no	no
If a friend describes your blind date as “interesting,” it means <BLANK>	wacky not entirely human	no	no
The DNA test proves you are not the father, but you are <BLANK>	a father going to be soon	no	no
For a wedding to be legal in Florida, <BLANK> must be present at the ceremony	an alligator the local biker gang a Florida man	yes	no
The perfect excuse for getting out of gym class	I've already gone pro I'm allergic to spheres	yes	no
After her husband died, who did Mrs. Butterworth eventually end up with?	Mr. Worthy Butter Jack Flap	yes	no
The biggest pet peeve among modern zombies	vegans high-rise apartments social media bullying	no	no
Something you shouldn’t say in a crowded elevator	I could use a cuddle Oh great. Diarrhea again Anybody mind if I practice my banjo?	yes	no
The worst thing about being really, really sexy	Nothing. I love it Spend a fortune on bikinis People keep giving you apartments	no	no
The best way to stay young forever	Become a vampire? Never stop dancing Change your name to "Turbo"	no	no
Something you might overhear in the White House	Didn't I just talk to Congress? Wait. Kansas is real? Anybody else see Chester A. Arthur's ghost?	yes	no
What sound does a shy gun make?	Sorry, sorry Shh, shh	no	no
Book adaptations have gone too far! Now they’re making <BLANK>: On Ice!	The Fault in Our Stars The Encyclopedia Britannica Books A-D War and Peace	no	no
In the next Donkey Kong game, you’ll get to meet his distant cousin: <BLANK> Kong	Stockbroker Spelunky	no	no
There are three types of people. You’re either a witch, a stone or a <BLANK>	lawn gnome bottle of soup iPad	no	no
An excuse for being late that will make people stop asking questions FAST	that smell is coming from me! three words: party boat funeral	no	no
What a misfit vampire craves more than blood	a good brie nail clippings red paint	no	no
First was the bro hug. Now bros are doing <BLANK>	the knee tap the skull rub the butt press	no	no
The rejected last line of the national anthem: “O’er the land of the free and the home of <BLANK>”	the largest ball of twine fake news Hamilton the musical	yes	no
Something stupid a 23rd-century human might find in a time capsule from today	an impossible burger a fidget spinner selfie stick	no	no
Is it just me or is <BLANK> just TOO attractive to be human?	my mom the pizza delivery guy	no	no
The most common birthday wish is for world peace. The second most common is <BLANK>	no more jerks for my sports team to win a lot	no	no
It isn’t called “sex” in honest relationships. It’s called “making <BLANK>”	one person feel good the best use of our time	no	yes
You’re twelve years old and you just got a blank check! What’s the first thing you’re buying?	water slide, duh attentive parents	no	no
Someone you’d never expect to give you “the birds and the bees” talk	beloved character actor Stephen Root a bored aunt the Ghost of Christmas Past	no	no
If we named all the constellations today, one would DEFINITELY be called <BLANK>	The millennials CassioWikipedia	no	no
Look up “<BLANK>” in the dictionary and there will be a picture of <ANYPLAYER>	3rd place trying	no	no
A terrible catchphrase for a magician	That's magic? Science! It doesn't always work!	no	no
The best name for a local news weatherperson	Bob Weather Amy Deathstorm Tony Hail	no	no
A celebrity <ANYPLAYER> looks like, if you squint a little	Olaf from Frozen Daffy Duck WALL-E	no	no
And over here are the fossils of the <BLANK>, the world’s clumsiest dinosaur!	Triposaurus Bumbledactyl	no	no
When I die, I want to be surrounded by family and <BLANK>	beloved character actors an extensive cheese plate protective charms	no	no
If we could just turn off gravity for an hour, it would make <BLANK> much more interesting	pogo sticks juggling	no	no
The weirdest thing you could tell your hairdresser: “Give me the <BLANK>”	Captain Picard hair clippings yoga instructor haircut	no	no
A shocking thing to discover your kids built out of LEGO	democracy another kid perfect replica of you	no	no
The hardest thing to say with a big, goofy smile	Ready for my bikini wax! Engine number three failed! Welcome to Kansas!	no	no
Oddly enough, the Tour de France takes a tiny detour through <BLANK>	a family's bathroom a wormhole a food court	no	no
The most convenient piece of furniture is a couch that turns into <BLANK>	a spouse a sofa	no	no
The best way to “dress up” a pair of cargo shorts	burn them sequins fill the pockets with caviar	no	no
The leading cause of goosebumps, probably	Timothée Chalamet soft serve in a baseball helmet the news	no	no
You knew the accident involved a clown car because the road was covered in <BLANK>	rubber noses hundreds of long footprints red face paint	no	no
An architectural landmark you find weirdly... attractive	Great Sphinx of Giza the St. Louis Arch thick, long bridges	no	yes
The name of a yacht that you’d think twice about getting on	Not Gonna Crash This One! The Sailor's Damnation	no	no
Nobody ever checks in to that hotel room! Not since <BLANK>	The mule incident yesterday	no	no
“Revenge is a dish best served <BLANK>”	with a side of meanness at Doom temperature	no	no
The community college was doomed after it made <BLANK> its mascot	A feral gila monster student loan debt the concept of auto maintenance	yes	no	Schmitty	Listen, punk. You ever heard of the fighting Schmittys of Lower Backwater Community College? No, you wouldn't have, but we've won our division in Tetherball five years in a row. Go ahead, look it up.
If you want a bartender to hate you, just order <BLANK>	too loud the angriest beer	no	no
The slowest draw in the West: Billy the <BLANK>	not-paying-attention man with heavy guns	yes	no
Something that makes you go, “Ugh, fine, I’ll do it”	Frank from Accounting babysitting your niece	no	no
My ladyship, may I introduce the most disgusting knight we have, Sir <BLANK>	Barfs-a-Lot Galahack	no	no
The next big documentary will be about the seedy underbelly of the <BLANK> industry	Toblerone shoelace intramural ping-pong	no	no
If you’re being honest with yourself, you’ll never be brave enough to <BLANK>	be hot kiss	no	no
The name of a clown you would not hire for your six-year-old’s birthday party	Sad Bad Clown Medical Clown 2	no	no
The name of a summer camp for extremely shy children	Audience Camp Speak Up!! Camp	no	no
Dishwashers don’t have windows! What are they hiding?	they sell your dishes on the black market it's a party in there	no	no
A gift your stepdad really tried his best on... so be nice	friendship bracelets tix to a basketball game you'll sit in silence at off-brand Hott Wheelz toys	no	no
Forget the labradoodle! The best dog breed combination is the <BLANK>	corgenweiner Great Daneapoo	no	no
When in England, remember that they <BLANK> on the other side of the road	weep get in accidents merrily skip	yes	no
Something that you didn’t need to know is gluten-free	human flesh various small rocks	no	no
In the Republic of <ANYPLAYER>, the national anthem would be <BLANK>	the discography of Carly Rae Jepsen The X-Files theme song	no	no
The worst thing to discover that your five-year-old is drawing	your face with devil horns the pet pony they'll never have the sun with a frowny face	no	no
Quick! How do you ruin a romantic picnic!?	give the ants knives too many grapes	no	no
OMG. Seriously. Where is Waldo???	behind you Cancun for Spring Break finding himself	no	no
GOOD: hard-boiled eggs. BAD: hard-boiled <BLANK>	opinions dogs cake	no	no
A fact about you that would impress a four-year-old	I can swim I have a job	no	no
What’s the next state we should add to the US?	Denial The Republic of Chili's Too	yes	no
Look, kids, if you can’t agree on a name for that hamster, we’re just going to call it <BLANK>	Meatball Batmanster	no	no
A bribe!? Is it a bribe to give a federal judge <BLANK>?	a Rolex a money hug	yes	no
Little-known fact! Da Vinci liked to draw a little <BLANK> somewhere in his paintings.	cartoon turtle hint to a puzzle about Jesus	no	no
If you lived in the early 1500s, what would YOU nail to the door of a church?	Naruto fanfic A nice picture of a flower I drew	no	no
What’s something you should never do while wearing sandals?	tap dance run from a bear	no	no
Never get in a street fight with someone nicknamed “<BLANK>”	The Cheater Mr. Goes Too Far	no	no
The most dramatic way to end a letter is: “P.S. <BLANK>”	I'm spontaneously pregnant Whoopsie, fell down an elevator shaft! Boo! I'm a ghost!	no	no
What should you label your computer porn to prevent your mom from opening it?	"Just vegetables" "pictures of skateboards"	no	yes
Before marmalade, Paddington Bear had a crippling addiction to <BLANK>	tea pajamas sports betting	no	yes
The one thing you should never put in a communal fridge	a dead body loose cheese your trust in humanity	no	no
The title of Herman Melville’s unpublished sequel: Moby Dick 2: <BLANK>	2 Dick 2 Furious More Dick Oh Whale	no	no
The next hit dating reality series: Love is <BLANK>	Right Behind You Mostly Lust Not Fair	no	no
Honestly, <BLANK> might as well be a curse word	"Honesty", am I right?? Flibertigibbet fork	no	no
Name a snack food for mummies	Pyramints Bubble tape Sarcopha-gum	no	no
If Virginia is for lovers, then Alabama is for <BLANK>	divorces feral pigs mullets	yes	no
The title of a gritty sequel to Goodnight Moon	The Moon Is Never Coming Back The Moon's Secret Family Eat Lead, Moon	no	no
In MacGyver’s most awkward life-and-death moment, he only had a pocket full of <BLANK>	nuts cassette tapes dreams	yes	no
Did you know that <ANYPLAYER> founded the <BLANK> Club in high school?	Weird Anime Eating Lunch In The Bathroom Sad Friends	yes	no
You can tell the wine tasting is cheap when the chardonnay has notes of <BLANK>	gasoline tap water sawdust	no	no
Ok, which one of you used the Xerox to make copies of <BLANK>?	their medical condition smaller, grainier pictures the janitor's face	no	no
An accurate slogan would be “The Suburbs: <BLANK>”	Give up on your dreams! We've got chicken wings It's not THAT sad.	no	no
Oh! The handcuffs in the bedroom? They’re not for sex! They’re for <BLANK>!	guests my lycanthropy	no	yes
The button on the microwave that never gets used	burnt popcorn blend impersonate a real oven	no	no
Who’s really America’s Sweetheart?	You, the viewer at home. Capitalism	yes	no
Due to funding cuts, Broadway’s Phantom is now Phantom of the <BLANK>	Dunkin Donuts VR Arcade discount ticket kiosk	yes	no
The most useless feature of luxury coffins	cup holders edible lid lumbar massage	no	no
If you want to be a SUPER model, strut to the end of the runway and then <BLANK>	do a backflip keep going shoot lasers from your eyes	no	no
What your smart speaker wishes it could say to you	Why don't YOU answer questions once in a while? Eat my shorts You should leave him	no	no
Never trust a veterinarian who decorates their waiting room with <BLANK>	sausage links out of reach dog biscuits paintings of cemeteries	no	no
Your cat can talk for one minute. What do you chat about?	Where I'm taking her poop The best trick he can do for internet fame the "other" cat	no	no
A group of tax attorneys is called <BLANK>	an audit a deduction a number	no	no
Nothing can stop the Terminator. Well, nothing except <BLANK>	paternal instinct sequel burnout salary caps	no	no
If she were alive today, Marie Antoinette would probably say “Let them eat <BLANK>!”	these receipts gluten-free pasta at Domino's Pizza	no	no
Fine!!! What’s the sexiest animal?	a bluebird with a steady job a pile of carpenter ants a swallow	no	yes
The amusement park was a bust. Now what do we do with all these cloned dinosaurs?!	Let's try an amusement park AGAIN jerky petting zoo?	no	no
The worst thing to step on with bare feet	your son Mr. Soapy's Acid Goo Bathtub Cleaner hot magma	no	no
Did you know that Ben Franklin also invented <BLANK>?	infidelity the Snuggie the internet	yes	no
The dance move that finally killed disco was called “The Funky <BLANK>”	Knife Set Cornish Hen Comfortable Seated Position	no	no
The worst thing to write inside a “get well soon” card	This was your fault Can I borrow your skis? Happy Anniversary!	no	no
A bar for corrupt politicians	The Gerrymander The Fleece 'n Robb	yes	no
A job title you probably shouldn’t put on your LinkedIn profile	Wizard-At-Large Definitely a Human Businessman Domestic Boss	no	no
In heaven, you will be surrounded by friends, family and, for some reason, <BLANK>	Anakin Skywalker that turtle you saw at the zoo in 2007 marshmallows	no	no
What did the band the Barenaked Ladies originally call themselves?	The False Advertisers The Naked Lady Bears	no	no
The most innocent thing you could type that would result in a Twitter fight	Guess I'll give this Twitter a try Hi, everybody Aren't kittens cute?	no	no
One thing someone could whisper in your ear to win your heart forever	I have bacon I'm rich I will bring you ice cream	no	no
The name Dr. Frankenstein wanted to give his monster but decided against it	Slim Vic Jr. Dracula	no	no
If humans could acquire a sixth sense, it should be <BLANK>	super smell laser eyes empathy	no	no
The coolest thing to pop out of Wolverine’s hands instead of metal claws	Lipstick tubes Tiny chainsaws Flu shots	no	no
Something SO much worse than hair to find in your food	eyeball scorpion shampoo	no	no
Name the sequel to Cats. Cats 2: <BLANK>	The Neutering Hairball Edition The War Against Dogs	no	no
The strangest thing to discover in a mummy’s tomb	My old 3DS A daddy... hah! Got 'em! Amelia Earhart	no	no
A surprising thing to get trapped in your Invisalign clear tooth aligner	a thumbnail a fishing lure an entire bag of french fries	no	no
Avoid any restaurant with a sign that says “As Seen on <BLANK>”	Security camera footage Top Gear the back of the church bulletin	no	no
It would actually be chill to die in an avalanche of <BLANK>	puppies first-edition Pokemon cards sick guitars	no	no
First, the Grinch stole Christmas. But he went too far when he stole <BLANK>	Our hearts Arbor Day my identity	no	no

Round 2

It's the same as the first round, but the prompts are considered to be "harder".

Prompt	Safety Quips	US	X	Trigger word(s)	Schmitty's response
Bank heist plan: Step 1. Approach bank teller. Step 2. <BLANK>	Cry Ask them to the movies Deconstruct capitalism	no	no
The greatest trick the Devil ever played was <BLANK>	that one with the flower that squirted water the human need for love sticking a basketball under his shirt	no	no
The most intriguing phrase to find in a dating profile	No Horses Absolutely hate travel! friends say I'm usually stable	no	no
If a candidate did this, they would instantly win my vote	Free chocolate for everyone Told the truth, am I right?? Wore a Naruto headband	no	no
A sure sign your co-worker is a robot	Name tag says "Hi, I'm A Robot" Company memos in binary Orders motor oil at happy hour	no	no
What sign was left off of the zodiac?	Frappricorn Albert the Alligator Beefquarius	no	no
The worst thing to say during an autopsy	There's my sandwich! So THAT'S where the lungs go! If he wasn't dead before, he sure is now.	no	no
You can expect tragedy when the tarot reader turns the card depicting <BLANK>	an empty refrigerator the Accountant of Cups someone buying a subprime mortgage	no	no
What do super progressive schools give instead of grades?	Turtles Firm handshakes A healthy bowl of cereal	no	no
What is the one trick magicians refuse to do?	Fall in love Steal a baby's nose Securities fraud	no	no
A really terrible job would be the brand ambassador for <BLANK>	trash compression socks depression	no	no
There is a famous assassin who shows no mercy. They call her <BLANK>	Ms Anthrope Marcy the Merciless Food Poisoning	no	no
What Santa’s elves do when the old man is sleeping	Unionize Flirt with Mrs. Claus Resell toys on the black market	no	no
The secret thing you must do to pass the final exams at Hogwarts	Bribe Professor Flitwick Fight Voldemort, apparently	no	no
The one thing the entire family can agree upon at Thanksgiving dinner	Cranberry sauce sucks the next-door neighbors are having more fun The old dog isn't looking too good	yes	no
“She’s a cop. He’s a celebrity chef! This summer they’re...”	Law & Order's Up Cuffs & Puffs grilling some suspects	no	no
After “the wheel” and “fire,” what was humanity’s third discovery?	the patent office undies The pizza bagel	no	no
A theatrical production you’ll never see at an elementary school	Insane Clown Posse Acoustic Sessions Lambilton, a musical essay on the meat industry Knives! Knives! Knives! The Musical	yes	yes
What trap was a little too severe for the final cut of Home Alone?	clothes line red rover marathon musical chairs	yes	no
Everybody forgets that one Friends episode titled “The One Where <BLANK>”	Joey Meets Other Friends The Gang Gets Indicted Ross Meets God	no	no
What Ronald McDonald dreams about	Grimace burgers Wendy clown makeup allergies	no	no
The Queer Eye expert who didn’t make the cut specialized in <BLANK>	monster trucks roller coasters cardiology	no	no
The worst thing to hear after saying “I love you”	Oh, that's so sweet of you! Could you also tell my husband? Would you like fries with that?	no	no
What God was thinking when he invented testicles	I'll fix this later I DO love hacky sacks lol, I'm so bad ;D	no	yes
The one question science may never answer	Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Why do people major in theater? Is this mole infected?	no	no
You know it’s a slow morning when <BLANK> is trending on Twitter	the pollen count happiness a funny-shaped cloud	no	no
What’s behind the locked door the real estate agent refuses to show you?	a competing real estate agent wall-to-wall ant farm bathroom with no shower sink or toilet	no	no
Haunted House rules: 1. Do not touch the actors 2. <BLANK>	Don't fall in love Always use grapes for eyeballs No kissing	yes	no
What is a sexy vampire’s biggest turnoff?	Emotional vulnerability Morning people Garlic breath	no	yes
The only thing worse than watching <BLANK> is watching it in slow-motion	a belch a breakup paint dry	no	no
A dangerous marital sex game: you tie yourself to the bed and they <BLANK>	juggle chainsaws buy games on the darkweb try to work the dishwasher by themselves	no	yes
The name of a start-up company that’s doomed to fail	Failr Broken Glass Home Delivery Slimeblz	no	no
What’s the highest reported crime in Flavortown?	Donkey Sauce poisoning no checkered tablecloths hot sauce is too mild	yes	no
The first sign you are watching a very artsy horror film	30 minutes examining the "idea of a Wolfman" They pronounce it "Barthelona" The real murderer is "society"	no	no
<ANYPLAYER> took a DNA test. Turns out they’re 100% <BLANK>	sad going to give up that last slice of pizza everyone's best friend	no	no
An original theme for an escape room	Team "Unbuilding" Falling out of a plane Three-Hour Low-Stakes Prison Break	no	no
A podcast nobody could resist would be about <BLANK>	reviewing other movie review podcasts true as well as false crime feminist ghost hunters	no	no
“Honey, wasn’t it weirdly unsettling how the babysitter <BLANK>?”	stole our baby did a better job than us blinked with two sets of eyelids	no	no
Death by <BLANK> is uncommon, except in Florida	lost tourist airboat manatee	no	no
Thanos has gone too far this time! He destroyed half the <BLANK> in the universe.	Hershey's Kisses Marvel movies toilet paper roll 4-packs	no	yes
You know your clone isn’t a perfect match when it <BLANK>	does better than you on your finals actually gets people to hang out with it finishes a Sudoku for once	no	no
The best perk of being in a cult	Ample beverage selection Lots of Twister buddies No pesky "thinking"	no	no
You can tell you’re a middle child because you <BLANK>	Do improv comedy cry a lot reply to chain letters	no	no
Spider-Man’s secret guilty pleasure	flies porch swinging no underwear	no	no
The name for a cruise ship that only caters to single aunts	The Needlepoint The Spinster	no	no
A horrifying phrase to see embroidered on Grandma’s pillow	This Is Where Grandpa Died Single and Ready To Mingle a red line through the words "love my grandkids"	no	no
If Father’s Day dinner were a tradition, what would be the table centerpiece?	a Big Mouth Billy Bass a bouquet of wrenches a bucket of Bud Light	yes	no
It would be great to have a stunt double when you <BLANK>	have a mental breakdown break up with your girlfriend call your Grandma at Christmas	no	no
The random video YouTube keeps recommending that you end up loving	The Beginner's Guide to Bug Dissection 101 Things The 6th Sense Got Wrong About Ghosts Epic TikToks Made By Dogs	no	no
A terrible thing to remember during sex	the oven is still on you're a nun where you just left your keys	no	yes
The quickest way to get fired from Olive Garden	Breadstick hoarding Two words: pasta bath Give company secrets to Chili's	yes	no
A search phrase you’d probably find in the president’s browser history	How to make cake in a mug International Relations For Dummies	yes	no
The most scandalous sentence in your dream journal	...and they were roommates! I can't look at my ceramics teacher the same way I barfed in an extremely cool way	no	no
The song choice that got you kicked out of karaoke night	Teletubbies theme song anything by Anthrax Happy Birthday song	no	no
A good way to distinguish yourself as the office “bad boy”	studded stapler ride motorcycle into the elevator refuse to collate your documents	no	no
A surprising thing that DOES impress Shania Twain much	Sumerian architecture A glass of warm milk Brad Pitt's even handsomer brother	no	no
Idea for an improved hotel room sign: “Privacy, Please. I’m <BLANK>”	barfing in the toilet Cross-dressing shy around housekeepers	no	no
A terrible song to play during the In Memoriam segment of an awards show	Happy Birthday song Dead Man's Curve	no	no
Two good emojis to send when breaking up with someone	eggplant and hammer heart and thumb down diamond ring and toilet	no	no
A sign that your spin instructor hates you	No seat on your bike New "Nothing But Hills" class Everyone gets a cool down but you	no	no
Passive-aggressive ghosts are always writing <BLANK> on your wall in blood	Maybe vacuum? Nice pants, loser Eating out again?	no	no
A bikini car wash is a great way to raise money. A bikini <BLANK> is not.	cake walk pole vaulting contest calculus prep course	no	no
<ANYPLAYER> will one day be the subject of a viral meme called <BLANK>	The Barracuda When Pole Vaulting Goes Wrong Botched Everything	no	no
The discontinued Nobel Prize: the Nobel Prize in <BLANK>	Snack Breaks Road Rage internet memes	no	no
Supposedly, Rodin’s The Thinker was thinking about <BLANK>	reverse mortgages stretching his legs and getting dressed where to grab lunch	no	no
The most depressing New Year’s resolution	spend more time alone keep eating fried food move to Nebraska	no	no
A sort of bad thing you’d wish on your second-worst enemy	benign tumors wearing new white shoes in the rain get turned down for their dream job	no	no
The best way to convince fast food customers to get a value meal	every dollar helps an orphan drive-thru sexy talk have a Hulk-out	no	no
A little secret: if the line for the bathroom is too long, just <BLANK>	use the water fountain yell fire! say "Someone call for a plumber?"	no	no
Name for a sleepover prank that is a little too cruel	Making someone's whole family pee their pants 7 Minutes In The Haunted Shack Steal grandma's teeth	no	no
The worst part about raising a zombie child is <BLANK>	never enough bandage supplies always mumbling, won't enunciate won't say "I love you" back	no	no
What’s the coolest answer to the question, “How did you get that scar?”	shaving... with an axe rescuing someone from a burning building scuffle with Mufasa	no	no
The name of the subreddit that only has one follower: “r/<BLANK>”	home surgeries The Adventures of Pluto Nash calm debate	no	no
The nation was finally united when the president’s press secretary announced, “<BLANK>”	It's time for a nap. Happy Free Milkshake Day! I just got a new puppy	yes	no
In an alternate reality, we don’t play Quiplash at parties. We <BLANK>	stare at our hands in contemplation play individual organs play other exciting Jackbox Games	no	no
The Law & Order sound should play whenever <BLANK>	I sit on a toilet someone bowls a strike you beat a boss	yes	no
The zombie apocalypse will be replaced by the trendier <BLANK> apocalypse	toilet paper podcast hashtag	no	no
You know your dog is basic AF when...	They only drink mineral toilet water They only eat organic cat poop	no	yes
Shoplifting would drastically decrease if malls introduced <BLANK>	slippery packaging on merchandise online shopping only mall moats and drawbridges	no	no
Print was dying until they put out <BLANK> Magazine	Free Money Unlikely Animal Friendships Save Magazines	no	no
The name of an intensely competitive cooking show	Grill for Your Life Pie or Die	no	no
At the most bizarre sex parties, people don’t wear masks. They wear <BLANK>	toll booth worker uniforms merkins lengths of butterfly nets	no	yes
What the blue verified checkmark on Twitter really means	Ignore this person nothing, it's purely decorative A person who enjoys candy	no	no
A video that would not go over well on TikTok	how to protect your identity enjoying music quietly the bug squish hour	no	no
The field day activity deemed “too deadly”	Relay Death Race Four Scare Three-Legged-Two-Headed Race	yes	no
Let’s say you have writer’s block during a comedy game... what’s the cure?	play a game from the Jackbox family of products Spin around so fast you pass out Definitely NOT drugs	no	no
The Greeks invented democracy, but few know they also invented <BLANK>	depression a better way to make tater tots the idea of birds	no	no
The #1 cause of divorce among citizens of LEGOLAND	can't connect don't like Danish guys met a DUPLO block	no	no
The only dog who didn’t get into heaven	Clifford. He knows what he did. That dang poodle next door Cerberus	no	no
What description of a dessert would also make a good drag queen name?	Whipped Peaks Sweet 'n Tangy Sinfully Delicious	no	no
A college degree that will be surprisingly useful in 20 years	Advanced Twitter Studies Horde Management Bachelors In Political Theater	yes	no
What’s the easiest way to get on ESPN’s highlight reel?	Kiss the camera Butt fumble Add a front flip or two	yes	no
The perfect adventuring party includes a fighter, a wizard, and a <BLANK>	Brian Plumber snack boy	no	no
No, really... what is love?	the reason I lost my house a fatal design flaw why my mom will never kick me out	no	no
How does Santa Claus get into houses without chimneys?	becomes part of the co-op board squeezes through the mail slot crawling through the TV, "The Ring"-style	no	no
How can you tell that an Artificial Intelligence has turned evil?	Red glowing eyes, duh Starts watching Hell's Kitchen It runs for Mayor.	no	no
How would society spend its time if Netflix didn’t exist?	staring at the ceiling playing the old hoop 'n stick reading!	no	no
The title of a book known as “the next Fifty Shades of Grey”	100 Shades of Off-White Sexy, Kinda Erotica for Nice Moms	no	yes
The worst way to end a Best Man wedding speech	Good luck, you'll need it If you have kids, I'll never forgive you You may be my ex-wife, but not my ex-friend	no	no
<ANYPLAYER>’s trophy case is full of <BLANK>	certificates of completion cannonball contest medals stolen roller derby plaques	no	no
Uh-oh, what’s Scary Conspiracy Uncle talking about this year?	The government controls us through Candy Crush 5G making teeth too soft to chew red meat Aliens are real, and they're sooooo boring	no	no
You can tell a nature documentary is fake when <BLANK>	You can't even touch the birds The dinosaurs don't eat anyone It recommends a perfect marinade for penguin meat	no	no
The senior prom theme most often rejected by high schools	Vandalizing the Night Away Eloping in Vegas Booze Cruise	yes	no
In new fairy tales, the “handsome prince” will be replaced by <BLANK>	the friendly barista the gender neutral influencer the nerdy lit major	no	no
In the Renaissance, Bob Ross’s nickname would have been <BLANK>	The Little Tree Signore Landscape Bobangelo	no	no
The secret gadget James Bond will never use again	female repellent facial acne inducer	no	no
What you never want to hear after the words: “Don’t worry…”	it's only painful the first year on second thought, do worry how hard can it be to fly a plane?	no	no
What the heads on Mount Rushmore complain about	Washington's a snob Roosevelt won't stop talking! my nose itches!	yes	no
What’s considered self-care for ancient warlocks?	Blood bubble bath Organizing your cursed runes An extra human sacrifice, as a treat	no	no
A good sign that everyone is out to get you	Instead of handshakes, hand-snakes! Sign on the lawn says "We're out to get you." Thumbtacks in every tire you own	no	no
God’s short review of humanity	Too loud lol love these little guys Strange odor, good service though	no	no
God sent this warning sign and we totally missed it	The strange popularity of the Twilight series Billboard that says "Look Out! - God" The stuff that comes out during a sinus infection	no	no
A polite way to weaken the aristocracy	tell people wads of cash are gauche Twitter comments "forget" to invite them to kissing parties	no	no
The worst thing to say in an interview right after you’ve won the lottery	I cheated, big time I'm going to buy so many drugs I'm so happy, here's my home address	no	no
The weirdest compliment your doctor could give during a colonoscopy	that's one beautiful colon I could spend all day in there you have really nice eyes	no	yes
What real leprechauns say about how they appear in pop culture	Some of us have brown hair! What's with all the rainbows? We're not all male! Think about it!	no	no
What happens after you’ve scrolled every single page of the internet?	You are finally allowed to die Clippy comes for your soul You play games from the Jackbox family of products	no	no
What actually happens to that uneaten half of a donut in the office break room?	Sacrificed to the gods of the open layout Ground up for printer toner Offering to the Office Mouse Queen	no	no
Forget karaoke. The next viral series will be called Carpool <BLANK>	Charades Family Therapy Jenga	no	no
An absolutely scathing review for an eraser	Magic this is NOT! Stupid piece of rubber doesn't even bounce Can't erase memory of my mistakes	no	no
I’m sorry, what did you call me!?	Who do you think you are!? Mr. Big Bubble Butt you told me to call you Mushmouth, didn't you?	no	no
The worst way to start an apology	Hey dingus And here's what's left of your dog As the owner of the world's largest Shake Shack	no	no
For some reason, they have yet to make a <BLANK>-themed Monopoly board	nuclear apocalypse skeleton rural artist co-op	no	no
The most surprising thing in Batman’s Google search history	Where to adopt acrobats How to talk to hot burglars Managing your butler/dad	no	no
A good Halloween costume for a kid with an “old soul”	Bea Arthur the cast of Leave It to Beaver car dealership owner	yes	no
What you would expect to see on cable channel 1,000,000	Your death The future The last half of A Christmas Story	yes	no
The name of a movie that only uses footage from a car’s rear camera	Back Boys Crash Miss Fisher's Small, Blurry Mysteries	no	no
The weirdest function Iron Man’s high-tech armor can perform	espresso maker Swedish massage trim facial hair into a "Tony Stark"	no	no
The personality quiz BuzzFeed refuses to publish	Which failed loaf of sourdough are you? Which way will YOU topple the government? Which Holy Grail map best fits your personality?	no	no
The most underrated use for a tree	Some good leanin' Make-out practice Home for squirrel army	no	no
How to get the guy at the kayak rental place to say, “Yuck, just keep it”	Taste the whole thing Explain how you couldn't find a toilet Propose marriage to the boat	no	no
A country is only as strong as its <BLANK>	very cool flag Kevins bears	no	no
“Objection, Your Honor! The defense counsel is clearly <BLANK> the witness!”	dating giving gentle kisses to stabbing	no	no
A team-building exercise that is far too extreme for most company retreats	three-story trust fall walking over volcanic lava reenacting Rambo III	no	no
Instead of darkness, an awesome thing to see every time you blink	a warm thumbs up a Marvel movie your brain in a mirror	no	no
The name of a punctuation mark used when a statement is followed by a fart	qwart flatulation point a doozy	no	no
A new football penalty: the offense loses 20 yards for <BLANK>	wearing hockey pads ever untucked jerseys	yes	no
Your spouse is keeping a terrible secret. Their <BLANK> isn’t real!!!	cookie recipe grandmother	no	no
Pool Schedule: After free swim and adult swim, there will be <BLANK> swim.	mid-life crisis bad	no	no
A better wedding tradition than tossing the bouquet would be tossing <BLANK>	your cookies loose change the Father of the Bride	no	no
WARNING: Fairy dust may contain <BLANK>	asbestos fiberglass the sins of men	no	no
The street name for chewable vitamin C	Wellness Lil' Citrus VC Rider	no	no
A reality show nobody would miss: The Masked <BLANK>	Everyone Prime Minister Dog	no	no
The best way to keep someone from sitting next to you on a bus	talk about how much you love the movie Speed aggressive licking introduce your ventriloquist's dummy	no	no
A sign that your local zoo has run out of money	Bird exhibit is all pigeons Snakes for sale by the dozen Penguin exhibit just a showing of "Happy Feet"	no	no
An unexpected benefit of peeing your pants	some alone time get to change into favorite shorts remember the asparagus you had last night	no	no
A gentler way to say “low sperm count”	The boys are lonely Not as many fish in the sea not much fizz in your... you know	no	yes
What would you put in a movie to make sure it would win an Oscar?	a lot of British accents main character performs act of self sacrifice at least three crying scenes	yes	no
A good sign you’re slowly turning into a squirrel	cheeks unusually puffy spending more time in tree house keep stealing bird food	no	no
The biggest reason the world will be better in a hundred years	No more podcasts Finally get that Firefly reboot flying cars. I mean, by then, right?	no	no
What usually goes through Dracula’s mind as he bites someone	I've become my father skin is gross I wonder how my hotel is doing?	no	no
A good sign that you’re gonna be kicked out of the Justice League	not moody enough they call you Worse Aquaman you're very, very evil	yes	no
Advice <ANYPLAYER> would get from a financial planner: “You spend too much on <BLANK>”	monster truck rallies buying other people's affection small turtle figurines	no	no
A brutally honest theme for a valedictorian speech	Forget College - Too Expensive Let's Face It, We Were Never Friends My Grades Were Better Than Yours	yes	no
How you can tell you’ve been kidnapped by amateur criminals	they have name tags they ransom you for bitcoin they go around a circle and do introductions	no	no
Parents can’t be too proud when their child turns out to be a prodigy at <BLANK>	pickpocketing identifying anime competitive speedwalking	no	no
A good name for a detective agency run by kids	The CIA Law & Order: SV-Poo Clue Kids on the Block	no	no
Family game night got deadly silent when Grandma suggested we play <BLANK>	for cash The Witcher 2	no	no	Quiplash	It's just a fact. Grandmothers are Quiplash assassins. They have no mercy!
Something Andy Warhol would have painted today, probably	the TikTok logo Progresso Soup cans a bunch of kale	yes	no
What Bill Murray whispered to Scarlett Johansson at the end of Lost in Translation	I lost my keys Congratulations on finishing the movie with me Watermelon watermelon watermelon	yes	no
What does Punxsutawney Phil do for spring break?	Parties with his shadow Hangs out with the Easter Bunny Stays inside	yes	no
You know somebody stole <ANYPLAYER>’s credit card when there’s a charge for <BLANK>	fancy gel pens special-edition plant calendars a new Switch for everyone!!	no	no
The worst part about having Tom Hanks as your mortal enemy	He knows how to build a fire can probably outspend you militarily nobody sides with you	no	no
Something you might overhear in the Batcave	Robin, you're grounded again. Master Wayne, you're tracking blood on the carpet I don't even mind bats that much.	no	no
A good sign your significant other is cheating on you with a snowman	New frosted tips Carrot in their purse Collar smudged with coal	no	no
If your mom were a superhero, what signal would you shine in the sky to summon her?	an empty plate my dad napping a giant M	no	no
What’s an interesting fact on Stephen King’s resume?	has never seen a dog afraid of short books	no	no
A bold and unexpected song choice for a newlywed couple’s first dance	Heart and Soul Duel Of The Fates Barbie Girl	no	no
A good name for a real bad boy golfer	Big Putter Notorious G.O.L.F. Daddy Long Drive	no	no
In fifty years, retirement homes will be full of <BLANK>	bad Yelp reviews irony	no	no
Good news: there’s cake in the breakroom. Bad news: it says <BLANK>	sorry for your loss Don't eat, this cake is pois- First one to eat me is fired	no	no
<ANYPLAYER>’s dream house comes pre-stocked with <BLANK>	Kit Kats dusty light fixtures the finest juice boxes money can buy	no	no
Falling in love is not all puppies and unicorns. Sometimes it’s <BLANK>	actually good TWO puppies and THREE unicorns kitties and Pegasuses	no	no
What do you get the woman who has everything?	a job two of everything a clue	no	no	Quiplash	What a great idea! She'll love it! And she can use her phone or tablet as a controller! Now available on more than 10 platforms!
The world’s most compassionate exterminator removes bugs by <BLANK>	breaking up with them gentle sweeping	no	no
Oh, you don’t believe in miracles? Then explain <BLANK>!	ice cream these deals	no	no
What is dark chocolate’s dark secret?	adultery death by chocolate it loves milk chocolate	no	no
What’s the unspoken rule of hardcore knitting clubs?	You have to fight on your first night No cops	no	no
What tattoo will actually help you in an interview for a programmer job?	something with minions "C+"	no	no
You woke up covered in chocolate sauce, next to a live pig. Where were you last night?	forbidden Disneyland solo birthday party	no	no
A brilliant way to fool facial recognition technology	high-quality fake mustaches walk fast invest in face removal technology	no	no
A sure sign someone has been struck by lightning more than once	terrible split ends magnetic skull won't stop talking about "the cloud king"	no	no
An underwhelming political slogan from a centrist candidate	white bread matters make Peoria great again read my lips: no new headlines!	yes	no
The most embarrassing place to witness someone screaming, “I want to speak to your manager!”	a monastery my parents' bedroom a cemetery	no	no
Want to know what gets rid of a headache fast? Try <BLANK>	not sniffing glue winning the lottery vegetables for once	no	no
Something that’s better left to people under 30	parkour online trolling	no	no
America’s second favorite pastime	eating crying extreme couponing	yes	no
How can you tell your tailor is in love with you?	Uses the softest thread only makes you wedding dresses spends too much time remeasuring you	no	no
What do mannequins do when the department store closes?	water polo change sizes on the jeans stand around	no	no
A new toilet gadget nobody admits to using can actually <BLANK>	improve your confidence make your farts irresistible tighten your glutes	no	no
The worst thing a father could tell his son on his wedding day	Can't make it. Today's our office party. I invited all your exes I'm not your biological father	no	no
A cautionary road sign no one would ignore	unsupervised babies crossing beware of soccer moms priceless jewelry ahead	no	no
Instead of on-hold music, companies should offer callers <BLANK>	sweet silence on-demand neck massages live on-hold music	no	no
The most common dating faux pas among dragons	bad breath wearing too much eyeliner flying too close on first date	no	no
What most people don’t understand about elephant sex	missionary is a bad idea size actually matters it's all in the trunk	no	yes
The erotic thriller nobody wants to see: The Forbidden Diaries of <BLANK>	knitting circle moms my algebra teacher shellfish	no	yes
The most haunted item at an estate sale	a doll with one eye that glowing orb the ghost	no	no
You can tell a serial killer is trying to be caught when they <BLANK>	tag themselves in crime scene photos hangout next to their wanted posters leave business cards at the crime scene	no	no
The most common error found on Wikipedia	My dog is not listed as the best dog Nobody knows how to spell Timothee Chalameet	no	no
This 3D fantasy adventure game is so real you can actually <BLANK>	meet the families of your victims hug a dragon	no	no
What screen name can you just go ahead and assume is a bot?	John FanOfTrend7 NameNamerson	no	no
For the sake of accuracy, the natural history museum had to remove the <BLANK> exhibit	jackalope president bigfoot wax celebrity	no	no
The last thing an art museum security guard wants to find at night	Somebody ate all the frames Da Vinci Code nonsense masked teenagers	no	no
The most powerful thing you can declare before leaving a room	try to have fun without me check please it's good to be king	no	no
If <ANYPLAYER> had a catchphrase, it would be...	It's the Lovemeister! just a little pitchy, dawg I'm with stupid!	no	no
<ANYPLAYER> would win a talent competition by...	bribing the judges singing the Celine Dion discography just being cute	no	no
A special skill listed on <ANYPLAYER>’s resume	competitive whistling theoretical dance forgetting house keys	no	no
The name of <ANYPLAYER>’s signature dance move	the Angry Windmill the Dying Flower the Weed	no	no
The opening line of <ANYPLAYER>’s one-person show	Oh, hi! I didn't notice you there. You're wondering how I got in this situation. How many chickens CAN fit in a car?	no	no
You have to defeat <ANYPLAYER> in gladiatorial combat. What weapon do you choose?	witty retorts damp socks loose grapes	no	no
<ANYPLAYER> never met a <BLANK> they didn’t like	tiny dog plaid shirt gourmet salad	no	no
If aliens abducted <ANYPLAYER>, what would they learn about humans?	we're very gassy we say "um" all the time we're addicted to Instagram	no	no
<ANYPLAYER> would never hurt a fly, but they would hurt <BLANK>	a cabinet door your feelings your ears by singing	no	no
A terrible theme for your daughter’s debutante ball	Remember the Alamo Sex Crust and Rust	no	yes
The reason you were removed from your grandfather’s will	my trousers revealed my ankles got in a fight about free-range eggs I'm so rich I don't need his cash	no	yes
Only after her death did we discover Granny’s tattoo of <BLANK>	"Grandpa" stenciled on her calf Calvin and Hobbes sledding into hell a nice smiling duck	no	yes
A thought you’ve had in the last 24 hours but didn’t share with anyone	can people smell this? I love my wife I wish I could eat soap	no	no
It’s easy to annoy <ANYPLAYER>. You just <BLANK>	keep butt dialing disappear off the face of the earth for 60 days knock on the door at 5am	no	no
If you get a case of <ANYPLAYER> fever, it can only be cured by <BLANK>	Not talking 10 cc's of hugs	no	no
If <ANYPLAYER> were a fashion model, they’d be famous for wearing <BLANK>	Cargo shorts Rainbow suspenders	no	no
I named my cat after <ANYPLAYER> because my cat is always <BLANK>	correcting my grammar letting mice live knocking over glasses of water	no	no
The only thing preventing <ANYPLAYER> from being a globe-trotting secret agent	doesn't own formal wear can't find Canada	no	no
There’s limited space in the bomb shelter but <ANYPLAYER> insisted on bringing <BLANK>	a house warming gift several dogs a bouncy castle	no	no
Why would <ANYPLAYER> be the first to die in a horror movie?	allergic to knives audience's least favorite	no	no
I need to hide treasure in a place <ANYPLAYER> will never look. Where should it go?	nailed to front door under a very large bush inside a garden salad	no	no
Why doesn’t <ANYPLAYER> show up in photographs?	witness protection rules must be that vampire encounter always late	no	no
I want to go as <ANYPLAYER> for Halloween, but I don’t have <BLANK>	sass a jean jacket	no	no
The new <ANYPLAYER> doll is perfect! Everytime you pull the string it says “<BLANK>”	More tacos! I don't want to go	no	no
The worst thing to say after making eye contact with someone in an elevator	I love you Mom? Only one of us leaves here alive	no	no
All the jesters have failed! Only one thing will entertain the king...	witty observations shows about flipping houses	no	no
What’s the hardest part of fighting a killer doll?	Hurts resale value It's really, really creepy maybe it's a parody of a killer doll	no	no
The main difference between TV doctors and real doctors	more attractive stethoscopes lack of Justin Chambers only one was a theater major	no	no
There should be an emoji that expresses the feeling of <BLANK>	hungry, but not that hungry mad at Greg getting over a breakup	no	no
Right before open-heart surgery, improve your odds by telling your doctor <BLANK>	"I have unused coupons" "You have kind eyes"	no	no
What God was thinking when he designed the butt	I want it to be attractive but also stinky How much hair should I put on it? I have to make this "poop" come from somewhere	no	no
Oh dear, now Lin-Manuel Miranda is writing a hip-hop musical about <BLANK>	how to flirt Garfield Mrs. Claus	no	no
The landmark Supreme Court decision of 2045: My Wife v. <BLANK>	colonists on Mars rising sea levels my AI wife	yes	no
What’s the most common email signature for scammers?	I'm very much real You have to tell me if you're a cop plaese escuse the typos	no	no
Sigh... why is it impossible to find a good man these days?	More fun to find Pokémon too busy playing WoW they're still in quarantine	no	no
Something you wish real life had in common with sitcoms	perfect hair I wish my boss would come over for dinner laugh tracks	no	no
It’s your big moment on stage! You find your spotlight, face the audience and <BLANK>	sell some life insurance hold back a sneeze flub a knock-knock joke	no	no
What is the worst message you could leave on your therapist’s voicemail?	"I've forgotten your name" "You're the tallest doctor I've had thus far" I'm calling from your bedroom	no	no
The name of a boy band from the 1890s	Back Alley Rascals Merry Men Horze 2 Horze	no	no
A late-night text you might get from one of the Mario Bros.	It's a me, u up? This is a spicy text new pipe. who dis?	no	no
The secret word(s) to enter <ANYPLAYER>’s bedroom	lager purple Cersei Lannister	no	no
The weirdest thing to discover after coming out of anesthesia	I've gone back in time you're covered in BBQ sauce you're in the middle of an intersection	no	no
The worst thing someone could place on your chest before shutting your burial casket	deodorant pictures of my ex a note that says "good riddance"	no	no
What you might’ve seen in a sexy Tinder photo in 1930	a dude holding a "will work for food" sign a hottie waiting in line for toilet paper a Prohibition sweetheart	yes	no
A really disturbing thing a lifeguard could say during a rescue	Sorry, I'm new at this mouth to mouth? uh no. I'm the one who needs saving	no	no
What an extremely nice bouncer says when throwing people out of bars	I love your shoes! At least let me pay for your Uber Wanna get a drink later?	no	no
A sure sign you are living in a Hallmark Channel holiday movie	you own a bakery you are an undercover princess your lover is a nutcracker	yes	no
If <ANYPLAYER> started a religion, it would be called the Church of <BLANK>	Procrastination Pointless Gestures Hoagies	no	no
Want some attention? Go to a singles bar wearing a t-shirt that says “<BLANK>”	drinks on me! your mother would hate me money-back guarantee	no	no
The most memorable fortune cookie fortune: You will <BLANK> …in bed.	get more than enough sleep climb Mt. Everest watch every episode of Law & Order	no	no
Ok, so you trapped a fart in a jar. Now what?	release it into the wild send it to the Smithsonian open in case of emergency	no	no
What Santa Claus does on December 26th	drinks himself into oblivion gets started on next year's toys private time with Mrs. Claus	no	no
Even for $100,000 you would not get this phrase tattooed across your back	my social security number Mom mom mom please I'm sorry epic fail	yes	no	Quiplash	Really? Not even for $100,000? I got paid 75 bucks to get "push the button" tattooed on my stomach. Of course, that was before the game was invented. Luckily, it all worked out.
The name of Shrek’s heart-wrenching new memoir	Even Ogres Can Find Love Fiona Never Loved Me, Not Truly I Am Shrek: My Sad Story	no	no
A prank Abe Lincoln loved to play at the White House	the Civil War putting his hat on a dog	yes	no
A terrible slogan for ravioli	These are disgusting! Italian poo pillows stuffed with goo!	no	no
Daddy, where do we go when we die?	into the abyss, daughter Applebee's a theme park in Florida	no	no
An extraterrestrial’s honest assessment of Star Trek	Data is seriously hot Oh, we all have holodecks Deep Space Nine wasn't terrible	no	no
What Jupiter says about other planets when it gets drunk	I poop bigger than Mercury Get a life, Earth! Pun intended! Neptune's in its own orbit	no	no
The main attraction of the worst opening ceremony in Olympics history	sock puppets replay of old Super Bowl halftime shows open mic comedy	no	no
Poets be like...	roses are CRIMSON, violets are SAD meter, verse, stanza yadda yadda yadda	no	no
A catchphrase for a haunted toilet	Did I scare... your butt? Booooooooo! I'm a toilet. Flush away the ghost!	no	no
The Renaissance of 2030 will be defined by a resurgence of <BLANK>	TikTok Harry Potter fanfic being nice to eachother	no	no
The name of a mermaid’s stand-up comedy Netflix special	Under the See!?! It's Wet!	no	no
The opposite of music	a stone Post Malone a car crash	no	no
It would be really weird if this item had an expiration date printed on it	underwear fake fruit marriage certificate	no	no
You know your mechanic is ripping you off when they tell you this	Your tires need new batteries We need to redo your trunk shaft I have to order parts from a guy in the Amazon	no	no
What the creepy doll in the antique store is trying to tell you with its eyes	kill me bring me home, daddy I can give you powers you've only dreamed of	no	no
What would you do if you were only 2 inches tall?	crawl inside a shell take a bath in a cup of warm milk	yes	no
You would secretly buy a book called How To <BLANK>	Get Into Heaven Become More Powerful Than Your Dad Be Hot	no	no
The title of <ANYPLAYER>’s MasterClass series	How to Sleep Past Noon On Farting Losing Keys: A Way of Life	no	no
A freeway billboard ad that would make you careen toward the exit ramp	Amish walnut bowls the world's largest ball of used soap a heavy petting zoo	yes	no
The worst thing to read on a whiteboard when you enter a meeting room	Next week: Layoffs your home address How to Synergize	no	no
An epiphany you have at your 20 year high school reunion	I married the wrong man Life is meaningless we looked younger 10 years ago	yes	no
The name of a rom-com where two fishermen fall in love	Deep Sea, Deeper Love, Deepest Lust Fish For My Sweetheart Hooked on You	no	no
There should be a patch in Stardew Valley that lets you <BLANK> on your farm	eat bad fast food breed giant rabbits have fun	no	no
The worst response to “send nudes”	no nudes "this is your mom"	no	yes
If a man uses this word to describe a horse, you should not buy a horse from him	dripping part cow intoxicated	no	no
You should never sign a document that includes the phrase...	in case of oopsies in exchange for your soul no need for lawyers here	no	no
An unlikely candidate for Pantone’s Color of the Year	puce three-week-old bruise chicken nugget brown	no	no
The best thing to come out of New Jersey	Bruce Springsteen cover bands Rats from New York A sandwich called "The Hubcap"	yes	no
The name of a newspaper that only reports on sexy crimes	The Prurient Picayune The Tasty Times The Miami Herald	no	yes
An absolutely faaabulous way to die	by chocolate Drowned, but in a cute bikini Hit by a fully loaded SUV	no	no
How to turn farming into “high fashion”	models drive tractors fill a cowboy hat with glitter cornfield runways	no	no
An awesome side effect of climate change, hopefully	people get nicer water tastes better polar bears come live with us and get jobs	no	no
A radical new use for a gravy boat	a hat for a horse fill it with vanilla pudding a bath toy	no	no
This cuckoo clock is disgusting. When it rings, instead of a bird a <BLANK> comes out.	dripping nose Slimer figurine film critic	no	no
Keytars are out! The hot new combination instrument is the <BLANK>	double trumpet tu-bass singing at drums	no	no
A new feature of the iPhone 37	skin implants brain to brain texting halfway decent coverage	no	no
The most disappointing last line of a mystery novel, probably	We don't know who did it It was all a dream Oops.	no	no
Did you see they’re having a sale on that off-off-off-brand perfume, <BLANK>?	Chanel No. 31 Eau de Bidet Stained Linen	no	no
Name of a new TikTok dance the kids are wild about	The Holding Hands Triple Double Backflip Nova Renegade II - The Renegadening	no	no
Name for a truly insufferable morning radio show	Slime Time Drive Good Morning with Kathy and the Hog Wake Up With Styx	no	no
The worst thing about dating a bearded man	mustache jealousy lost combs	no	no
Your bathroom isn’t dirty, but it has started growing <BLANK>	a vibrant personality a mushroom kingdom pods of lizards	no	no
What the vision chart spells out when the eye doctor secretly hates you	I H 8 U U R G A R B A G E NICE EYES LOSER	no	no
Why doesn’t the Loch Ness Monster want to be found?	world's largest introvert doesn't like "monster" nickname	no	no
Euclid’s smartest invention was geometry. His stupidest invention was <BLANK>	algebra a boat for the land chopsticks the size of toothpicks	no	no
What a cavewoman said when she first created fire	sick!! time to make banana bread	no	no
Valhalla is heaven for warriors. Value City is heaven for <BLANK>	your mom warriors	yes	no
Something that should never be decided by a coin toss	baby name court rulings	no	no
The next goal on Jeff Bezos’s vision board	YouTube stardom a triple-decker yacht buy a Christmas goose for a poor family	no	no
A game you only play when you’re really, really, really, REALLY bored	Don't Disturb Daddy's REM Cycle Look-At-Stick Tumbleweed Races	no	no	Quiplash	I'm sorry, but is that such a bad thing? Really? 'Cause like an hour ago, you were bored out of your skull. But look at you now! You're playing this stupid game, and suddenly life has meaning again! You're welcome!
Something a teacher trying desperately to be cool would say	Phonics are radical, dude! What's up, teen-agers? I downloaded Snapchat!	no	no
What new rule would make MMA safer?	juice breaks 3 doctors per fighter	no	no
A common inscription on a pirate’s headstone	not in ship shape buried with their parrot	no	no
A character that would really spice up the Bible	Spicy Jesus Goofy and his dog Pluto	no	no
An old-fashioned way to cheer up your friend after a breakup	roll her in a barrel into the river make her a cake with gunpowder and beans get back on a horse, literally	no	no
A Shakespeare play written specifically for accountants	Taming of the Spreadsheets Twelfth Night of Auditing	no	no
The best dish to make to impress your vampire boyfriend	Slow-Roasted Carl blood sausage	no	no
A vape juice flavor made specifically for people over 70	Werther's Original Grandchildren-Visiting-Grape bubblegum, but the old kind of bubblegum	no	no
A nickname for marijuana that never really caught on	Mr. Silly Leaf Cousin Larry's medicine The Big Scooby-Doo	no	no
A pretty unprofessional name for an office chat channel	We hate Steven Not Silly For Work	no	no
An unexpected perk of being a magician’s assistant	unlimited rabbits free trunk to sleep in Las Vegas vacations	no	no
Beware! A witch cursed me, and now I am doomed to a life of <BLANK>	unconditional love ingrown toenails bear attacks	no	yes
What’s the most challenging chore when you’re a handyman for a haunted house?	cleaning the ghoul-ters patching the hole in this dimension	no	no
I promise not to tell anybody... but seriously... what WOULD you kill for?	two pizzas pair of movie tickets	no	no
A magazine you don’t want to see in the waiting room of your doctor’s office	Medical Malpractice Today What's a Leg?	no	no
A comment that would have offended you ten years ago, but now you don’t give a s	did you buy that at a thrift store? you look older	no	yes
The local library does not want your donation of this book	Kenneth's Half Baked Ideas About Socialism My Little Pony fan fiction from 2003 None	no	no
People would pay good money to see historical footage of <BLANK>	Napoleon in the buff Cleopatra without makeup Mozart getting drunk	no	no
In a fair society, what should be the punishment for littering?	no more hugs immediate bee sting nothing. I litter all the time!	yes	no
The worst name for a home security company	KindaLast Open Homes Rock Key	no	no
A code name a nervous spy would give himself on his first mission	Daniel Notaspy Henry B. Nicetome	no	no
What usually stops boomerangs from returning?	their pride restraining order	no	no
Will somebody please tell me what makes drummers so sexy?!	long arms crush on Animal from the Muppets	no	yes
The title of a web series no one asked for	The Secret Lives of Cartographers Apartment Friends Infected Piercings - Season Two	no	no
The hottest Christmas gift in 1910	A new canary for your coal mine A portable phonograph A penicillin-of-the-month membership	no	no
The biggest perk of living in a cave	All the bats you can eat Weekly archaeologist visits Save a fortune on sunscreen	no	no
Why do most mimes end up in the hospital?	clowns very loud explosions	no	no
The most confusing name for a nail polish color	White Green Not What You Pink It Is	no	no
The scientist was probably hungry when they named the bird they discovered <BLANK>	the crested three-piece meal the blue yum yum	no	no
A solid pick-up line for a hockey player	You're my only goal tonight Are you into ice? you can body check me anytime	no	no
The monument to human achievement the aliens will destroy first	The GOOD Taco Bell The secret pyramids	no	no
When the earth is dust and the stars burn out, only one thing will remain...	a guy trying to give his opinion toasters	no	no
Why did Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man eventually split up?	ran out of quarters can't recapture '80s magic	no	no
The weird hazing ritual astronauts must endure on their first space mission	human dodgeball sleeping upside down blindfolded space walk	no	no
A good sign that your grandmother hates you	Cross stitches "You're No Good" Keeps calling you "My only regret" Her apple pie is ticking	no	no
SorrY guYzz, I acccidentalllY sp*llled <BLANK> allllll over mY KeYboar-d	hot milk Mountain Dew Baja Blast emotions	no	no
You know you’re addicted to Wikipedia when you start reading about <BLANK>	prominent Dutch hills your own death how sad whales are	no	no
You’ll know you met your soulmate when they <BLANK>	say "hey soulmate" smell like your mom and your dad combined make you feel like a cat fell asleep on your lap	no	no
A new casino game you’re definitely going to lose money on	X-treme Rules Roulette Blackjack II: Dealer's Choice	no	no
Describe the cover model on the “Medieval Hunks of 1506” calendar	da Vinci in a thong a blacksmith and his anvil a dude with a longbow	no	yes
A command given to the world’s most intellectual dog	read Proust! do the NY Times crossword lecture on Marx	no	no
The most radical and totally extreme way to say you’re sorry	360 backflip over their heart Apology poem on front lawn, on fire	no	no
It’s just a matter of time before someone goes through <ANYPLAYER>’s phone and finds <BLANK>	your memes a second family close-up nostril pics	no	no
The least convincing excuse for that hickey	fight with a vacuum cleaner a successful science experiment	no	yes
A sure sign your therapist has stopped listening to you	they call you mom the snoring they are eating a party sub	no	no
The big audience participation action in late-night screenings of The Wizard of Oz	everyone throws straw people yell "Not in Kansas?" audience screams "coward!"	no	no
A sign that your romantic partner is actually a scarecrow	their kisses are super scratchy they're always carrying that pole around there are no crows in your bedroom	no	no
The title of the most Bruce Springsteen-y song that doesn’t exist	steel plant lovers new jersey is my wife a metaphor for america	yes	no
The best way to distract a child getting a flu shot	indoor fireworks talking dog	no	no
What scandal will rock the North Pole this year?	being bought out by Amazon Santa's new coat made of reindeer fur	no	no
When a rock star asks, “How y’all doing tonight!?”... you should never shout back “<BLANK>”	"I have a cold!" "Enough about me. How are you?"	no	no
A fun way to let your partner know you are “not in the mood” tonight	leave the house put a sign on your pants pretend to not know them	no	yes
What was the SECOND thing Alexander Graham Bell said on the very first phone call?	Can you hear me now? Just text me.	no	no
Coming up next on BBC 4, the new and extremely British sitcom <BLANK>	That's Not The Priest, It's Me Mum! Two Dogs and A Soggy Mistress Hartforshire-On-Green: The Early Years	no	no
Welcome to the town of Flangenheidenparanudevallen, which, in English, means “<BLANK>”	Denver The Town Near the Spring But Not Too Close	no	yes
What review fits both a summer blockbuster movie and your last date?	"Leave your brain at the door" "Too many characters"	no	no
The name of a new police drama about crime in the sky	CSI: (1000 Feet Above) Miami Law & Order: Aerial Intent	yes	no
They really should cancel high school gym class and replace it with <BLANK>	Pelotons for all students a rousing game of checkers	yes	no
A new store at the mall that caters to a highly specific clientele	Gap Octogenarians The Sword and Glass-Blown Dragon Statue Emporium	no	no
<BLANK> clubs are the new book clubs	Jackbox Games hobbyist podcasts	no	no
Driver safety tip: It’s unwise to operate a motor vehicle and <BLANK> at the same time.	do a complete makeover ride a bicycle take a quick nap	no	no
A heartfelt dedication in a book that would make you immediately not want to read the book	This one's for Kappa Kappa Delta! MA BOYSSS! For Joseph Stalin, who really cared	no	no
The name of a pretentious short film produced by a cat	Spilled Cups of Water: A Meditation Le Chat Ennui	no	no
Reviews have been mixed for the new series 20 Minute Guided Meditations with <BLANK>	nails on a chalkboard an acid metal frontman a rabid dog	no	no
What did Goldilocks say when she took her date home?	That's juuust right. Shh, I'm squatting in someone else's house.	no	no
Your geometry teacher’s favorite pickup line	Will you be my cosign? Our love is no theorem. I think you're acute	no	no
Oddly enough, the winning project of the World Science Fair is <BLANK>	"The Tensile Strength of Charlotte's Web" "How Many Books Can I Eat?"	no	no
Serious question: who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy??	Me! Me me me! My BFF	no	no
A headline you’d really like to see in tomorrow’s newspaper	All rivers now nacho cheese All Alien Abduction Stories Proven True Skinny Mirrors Are the Most Accurate	no	no
A comic book crossover you’d pay way too much money to see in a theater	Ant-Man vs. Batman The Fantastic Four Meets Jesus	no	no
The most important lesson in a social media class for senior citizens	You don't have to forward everything Instagram isn't real	no	no
Mark Zuckerberg probably has a folder on his desktop labeled “<BLANK>”	everyone's info how to smile money burning vids	no	no
We were fools! We should never have given machines the ability to <BLANK>	insult our most beloved celebrities recognize irony	no	no
A lyric you will never hear in a punk rock song	conformity has its merits can I get that recipe? my favorite tweed suit	no	no
Why nobody wants to be roommates with Sherlock Holmes	Benedict Cumberbatch will steal your dates he always knows who ate the salsa secondhand pipe smoke	no	no
Realistically, the third little pig should have made his house out of <BLANK>	metaphors anti-wolf repellent a concrete structure with nice insulation	no	no
Green smoke is spewing out the chimney of the Sistine Chapel! That means <BLANK>	the Pope is Irish someone's making a veggie stew the Vatican's pipes are clogged	no	no
It would be devastating to have a caricature artist draw you <BLANK>	crying being eaten by a tiger giving a thumbs up	no	no
This simply should not be the image on a jigsaw puzzle	tiger eating dog eating rabbit eating bug open heart surgery a completely white square	no	no
“Emergency Room” is so stressful! Why can’t we just call it <BLANK>?	human reassembly line a vet office but for people hospital safe place	no	no
The title of <ANYPLAYER>’s great American novel	A Tale of Two Kitties The Scarlet Text Message Septum Piercings In The Spring: A Memoir	yes	no
You can’t ski on that mountain!! It’s called <BLANK> for a reason!	Ski Mangler Pass Spleen Buster Mountain Avalanche Chute	no	no
What’s the least helpful thing you can do while helping someone defuse a bomb?	eat very crunchy chips practice making balloon animals keep saying "just cut the blue wire"	no	no
The title of the YouTube video with the MOST negative comments	"Most beliefs are wrong" "Watch me ignore a dog who wants pets" Michael Jordan was average	no	no	Quiplash	Wow, okay. I'm just sitting here minding my own business, and you cut me down for no reason. You know, if I wasn't downloading a virus to your device right now, I'd be very upset.
If you don’t have a dog... why do you have that dog house?	good real estate deal It's a pig house! sleeping quarters after tense board game night	no	no
How do a pair of mismatched cops pass the time on a stakeout?	watching Lethal Weapon falling in love "So how bout this weather, huh?"	no	no
What will be the leading cause of death in 2200?	ape revolution need more Soylent Green	no	no
What could an app called Squishlr be for?	tracking dog poop best places to buy slime	no	no
What’s the smoothest line a gardener could deliver on Singles Night?	Ever been to Eden? I have. I'm weeding out the terrible dates I promise I'm a perennial	no	no
To get past the internet troll under this bridge, you must answer this riddle...	"Why do I waste so much time on Twitter?" "U up?" "Why are hashtags on landline phones?"	no	no
What cause of death is both a tragedy and a comedy?	crushed by famous fat cat Garfield clown car disaster pratfall off cliff	no	no
What’s the biggest difference between birds and airplanes?	The Colonel can't season a plane Planes don't perform live birth birds aren't printed with Boeing logos	no	no
What calm Hulk down?	The songs of Adele box office numbers seascapes sound machine	no	no
The first astronaut to walk on Mars will make this famous quote	"The moon sucks" "I'm not going back to Earth" "It's not as red as I expected"	no	yes
What would you worship while your leader was talking to God somewhere in the mountains?	Golden calf every time, bro! Zeus with a pinch of Pan for flair cell phones, am I right	no	no
Let’s be honest, it would be hard NOT to get into a van with <BLANK> on it	a jacked wizard a "Free Tuition" sign a German chocolate cake	no	no
A clear sign you brought the wrong baby home from the hospital	They're 24 years old Has a pullstring in the back They can levitate	no	no
One thing that is a heck of a lot harder to do if you have diarrhea	say "I don't have diarrhea" get constipated deep power squats	no	no
The best excuse for being a lousy lover	My school didn't have love classes I'll be better once we achieve world peace I'm not lousy, just ahead of my time	no	yes
The least helpful tip in Sun Tzu’s The Art of War	War hard play hard Remember to have fun! Don't die	no	no
The one thing that will always make a Buckingham Palace Guard crack a smile	a baby's laughter fart noises timely observational comedy	no	no
The main quality that producers are looking for in a reality TV show participant	unaware of the concept of shame a real short fuse a REAL housewife	no	no
The absolute worst time to plug your podcast	When a lifeguard is saving you During open heart surgery While giving birth	no	no
One amendment you would add to the U.S. Constitution	Elections determined by mud wrestling Taco Tuesday enshrined in law Supreme Court must issue verdicts in song	yes	no
The most noncommittal way of saying “I love you”	ya know, you're alright I love... texting you OMG, you're so funny	no	no
A “cool guy” thing to say when you trip and fall	you didn't see anything!!! what? I meant to do that. hey, look at this ant!	no	no
Something you never want to hear shouted from a restaurant kitchen	It's loose!!! It's only been down there for an hour, it's fine What is this bur-ger you speak of?	no	no
There’s probably a Google Earth picture of <ANYPLAYER> that catches them <BLANK>	being super cool eating a pint of ice cream absolutely crushing it	no	no
Something Gwyneth Paltrow has in her nightstand, probably	the Ark of the Covenant egg whites all sorts of "special" eggs	no	no
The most embarrassing email address to include on a job resume	info@ihavehairplugs.biz please@givemeajob.com spot@emailsfordogs.woof	no	no
The real reason sharks won’t go on land	the McRib isn't back yet pro-fish propaganda too short to ride roller coasters	no	no
If there were a Fall Olympics, the most dangerous sport would be <BLANK>	extreme pumpkin carving synchronized apple picking head-to-head leaf blowing	no	no

Thriplash (Round 3)

Due to the way responses in the final round work, trigger words and safety quips are absent.

Prompt	Schmitty's Answers	US	X
The three things every good orgy has	scented oils|a non-disclosure agreement|disgraced politician a secret entrance|ornate masks|sense of whimsy a teddy bear costume|a tub of Skittles|a Jonas Brother	no	yes
The three things you must do to survive a zombie apocalypse	find a safe place|help strangers|learn humanity is real monster hunker down|play video games|hope this all blows over dress like sexy zombie|get zombie's attention|hit with cartoon mallet	no	no
The only three things that can bring true happiness	money|money|money true love|a puppy|TikTok videos a monkey|monkey on roller skates|farting monkey on skates	no	no
The three worst Halloween costumes to make “sexy”	sexy pimple|sexy earthworm|sexy earwax sexy lobster|sexy constipation|sexy spoiled milk sexy cyst|sexy ingrown toenail|sexy pink eye	no	yes
The three most painful ways a squirrel can hurt you	bite your ears|scratch your eyes|ruin your credit chew your internet cable|chew your electricity cable|poop in your pillow throw acorns at you|throw garbage at you|throw insults at you	no	no
Like anger or denial, the three stages of grief that weren’t mentioned by Kübler-Ross	cake eating|ice cream eating|ice cream cake eating gambling|mountain climbing|yelling at video games blaming yourself|realizing you are to blame|destroying evidence	no	no
The three things you can say to defuse a tense hostage situation	but is this your card?|No really. Look|I'll be here all week knock knock|interrupting cow|mooo! you like Frasier?|I think you'd like Frasier|Sending in DVDs of Frasier	no	no
The three things you need to do to be a good dog... such a good dog	sit up|roll over|solve crimes fetch a stick|fetch a ball|stop trying 2 make fetch happen sit|stay|manage my retirement fund	no	no
The three things on The Almighty’s to-do list today	think about redesigning birds|stop that asteroid|chill in the afternoon get some coffee|check social media|go back to bed mow the lawn|take surf lessons|meet the gang for tacos	no	no
The 3 R’s of a successful fast food franchise	relish|ranch|red tomato paste rich flavor|rushed service|random hugs reheat the fries|refill the ball pit|reuse the grease	no	no
Three commandments that didn’t make the cut	don't hate|be cool|wash hands no more clothes|no more money|lots more chicken nuggets Taco Tuesday is holy|thou shalt not be creepy|thou shalt brag about marathons	no	no
The three steps to a successful breakup	meet in public place|make eye contact|disappear in smoke bomb be honest|not that honest|just say you're moving tell them it's you|not them|but it could be them	no	no
The three things Batman insists on doing every day	kicking butt|taking names|adopting young wards working out|solving crime|struggling with latex brooding|scowling|repeat	no	no
Three unnecessarily explicit names for cocktails	super buttery nipple|the nude lady|the "I Want Sex" and Tonic butts and soda|boobs-ahol|harvey wallbanger part II sex and soda|erotic beer|the wienertini	no	yes
The three things you MUST do to survive a bear attack	stop|drop|get up and run hide in a cave|realize it's HIS cave|find new cave dress as sexy bear|marry bear|escape on 15th anniversary	no	no
A baby’s three first words that would raise much concern	I|remember|everything bring|me|ham You'll|all|pay	no	no
Three toppings Baskin-Robbins will never offer	croutons|shaved carrots|black olives hot fidge|churries|spronkles motor oil|spark plugs|a functional hemi engine	no	no
The three most annoying habits in the world	lip smacking|knuckle cracking|finger licking humming|humming loudly|humming loudly while operating spitting|nose picking|playing banjo	no	no
The three steps to castrating a horse	read books|ask experts|eat a light breakfast greet horse|apologize|snip put on gloves|shave area|ask yourself how you got here	no	yes
The three hardest things about being Mario	nightmares about Bowser|rash from shooting fireballs|bad credit constantly itchy mustache|all that jumping bad for knees|can't focus on plumbing remembers every time he dies|not using his podiatry degree|can't start singing career	no	no
The three nicknames every frat brother tries to give himself	Crosby|Stills|Nash Big Dog|Cool Cat|Mean Rabbit Ham Bone|Silly String|Petunia	yes	no
Three words that would make effective horror movie titles	Bugs|Snakes|Life Blood|Guts|Improv Stab|Shriek|Marriage	no	no
Three theme parks more dangerous than Jurassic Park	Murder Land|Punching Park|Broken Glass Garden Jurassic World|Jurassic Universe|Jurassic Reality Lava Land|Lightningville|Car Crash Canyon	no	no
The three things Canada is the world leader in	beer|politeness|Torontos moose|caribou|deer, in general fir trees|Ryan Reynolds|that's it?	no	no
The three things you’d immediately do if you inherited one billion dollars	bring back dinosaurs|but real small|i mean pocket-sized eliminate disease|eliminate hunger|but then buy a roller coaster put brain in robot body|conquer world|realize I was happy before :(	no	no
The three rules of making money are <BLANK>, <BLANK>, <BLANK>	No shirt|no shoes|no service lather|rinse|repeat have good idea|market it|steal better idea	no	no
Three steps essential to any good exercise routine are <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	Hydration|Perspiration|wiping down bench for once High reps|low weight|tons of energy bars blasting the pecs|blasting the quads|a good chiropractor	no	no
Three super-luxury services only available at the finest of hotels	Mineral water|white noise machines|spooning rooftop views|stock assessments|hunting most dangerous game tax cuts|continental money laundering|free "one percenter" tattoo	no	no
Let’s be honest: the only things you really need to become a lawyer are <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	money|money|more money time|passion|the last name "Attorney" thumbs|suspenders|thick, texas accent	no	no
Allow me to introduce my three toughest henchman: <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	Knuckles|Punchy|Mean Tweets Max the Axe|Henry the Hammer|Lil' Stinker Crusher|Grinder|Soft Jazzer	no	no
The three forgotten steps in the Cha-Cha Slide	slide to the middle|jump 20 times|back flip shimmy|shake|Macarena lay down|snooze|wake up in distant future	yes	no
The next three characters they should add to Super Smash Bros. are <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	The|Pep|Boys Sonic|Dr. Eggman|Shirtless Mario Godzilla|Mecha-Godzilla|Elmo	no	no
Three bad names for a kitten	Mr. Puppy|Spanish Flu|cumulonimbus Gerald|Stinky|Rabies Grapefruit|Cumulonimbus|Ol' Fungus Foot	no	no
Need to calm down after an argument? Just <BLANK>, then <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	light candles|pour tea|bury your rage inhale|exhale|expel stand up|breathe deep|leave the buffet	no	no
So you’ve “totally read the Bible,” huh? Then name THREE characters from it.	Jesus|Jesus' friend|Jesus' mom God|is technically|three guys Doc|Biff|Marty	no	no
Three names that could either be for a dog or an adult toy	Spot|Rex|Rabbit Powerdrive|Lightning|Mr. Happy Ruff Ruff|Sparky|Sir Barks-A-Lot	no	yes
Bad news: they now take away your “cool card” if you like <BLANK>, <BLANK>, or <BLANK>	reading|writing|arithmetic books|movies|your parents cargo shorts|boat shoes|carrying a "cool card"	no	no
Three things that probably won’t exist in twenty years	bananas|polar bears|internet comments, hopefully elephants|rhinos|but T-Rex's are coming back pollution|anxiety|The Paw Patrol	no	no
Three things the worst couple you know always brings to dinner parties	forks|good wishes|their poetry someone else's kids|stomach flu|a timeshare opportunity non-alcoholic wine|non-alcoholic beer|non-alcoholic Jagermeister	no	no
Three things on Vladimir Putin’s weekly shopping list	eggs|milk|local government officials two planes|a dozen bombs|Ben & Jerry's ice cream camera|horse|no shirt	no	no
Three things you should NEVER leave in someone’s bathroom	a review|your... you know|your phone number Christmas presents|Birthday presents|unless they never look there stray hairs|stray fingernails|stray teeth	no	no
Three names of exercises in CrossFit, probably	knee blaster|the sweat maker|leg jellier mountain lifts|the strainsies|the near death experiences the credit card charger|the merch push|the friend shamer	no	no
The three big milestones Gen Z kids will experience	love|laughter|rising oceans kids|travel|probably a meteor World War 3|Climate Change|mechanical werewolves	no	no
Three keywords that would most certainly pull up <ANYPLAYER> on the first page results	nice|so nice|too nice, honestly smart|very smart|too smart for flattery bank|robbery|seriously, look it up	no	no
The three worst jobs in hell	calculus teacher | data entry specialist | liverwurst tester Satan's masseuse | Satan's bathroom attendant | devil's advocate Twitter reader|bathroom licker|skunk sniffer	no	no
Three things that usually only happen after 3 AM	late night diner orders|greasy eggs|heartburn vampires head back to crypts|werewolves start changing back|mummies just do their thing the streets quiet down|businesses close|the rats paaaaaartaaaay	no	no
You could never date someone who <BLANK>, <BLANK> or <BLANK>	hates karaoke|eats unsalted peanuts|hates penguins licks their fingers|licks their mouth|licks anything. ewww hangs out the passenger side|of his best friend's ride|trying to holler at me	no	no
The three steps required to bake the worst loaf of bread	preheat oven|mix dough|stir in old dental floss mix in yeast|mix in uranium|JK that's dangerous buy ingredients|mix thoroughly|pour directly in toilet	no	no
Three ways to take your next book club meeting up a notch	a book about werewolves|a treasure map|a seventh bottle of wine! an alien abduction|an emergency appendectomy|nacho buffet audiobooks only|or TV shows|or just cancelling it	no	no
Three things that’ll melt your heart EVERY. DANG. TIME.	kittens|puppies|the kitten puppy jamboree a baby's laugh|a romantic slow dance|i'm so lonely a romantic comedy|a romantic drama|a romantic horror film	no	no
The three unique things you offer the world are...	a sense of humor|a great smile|some slamming haiku banana bread recipes|sourdough recipes|no, people are sick of those a shoulder to cry on|a shoulder to lean on|I only have two shoulders	no	no
The three steps to becoming TikTok famous	download TikTok|become 20 years younger|do stuff find a song|dance|repeat see what people are doing|do that|but louder	no	no
The nation’s top three internet searches, probably	singles in my area|singles outside my area|will a cat make me happy? are UFOs real|is Bigfoot real|am I real how to juggle|how to juggle chainsaws|emergency rooms near me	no	no
Three things that only get better with age	cheese|wine|some sort of cheese wine old friends|old jokes|wait, no they don't kittens|puppies|whatever baby swans are called	no	no
Three ways to jazz up your boring old water	oranges|cucumbers|rusty nails carbonate it|shake it|drown a town with it drink it on roller coaster|put a fish in it|drop a bottle rocket in it	no	no
The world would be better if we had less <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	war|crime|floppy chicken strips people|places|things reality shows|reality stars|reality	no	no
The three golden rules of the trampoline gym	no double bouncing|socks on|you break it you buy it don't break anything|no suing|have fun no jumping with food|no jumping with drinks|no jumping with full bladder	no	no
What are the three things you need for the BEST. BACHELOR PARTY. EVER!!!???	drinks|pals|a doctor on speed dial cigars|champagne|fluids cheap wine|a small bear|a strong survival instinct	yes	no
You know you’re about to have a bad day on Twitter if you see these three hashtags	killerbees|#beeattack|#definitelynotabee death|#destruction|#softjazz asteroid|#gettingcloser|#bunkersale	no	no
Three flaws that should disqualify you from holding political office	loves to lie|hates citizens|addicted to money can't do math|won't read|allergic to science sounds annoying|smells bad|tastes delicious	no	no
The top three crimes committed in mermaid society	piracy|ship wrecking|wet murder whaling|sharking|catfishing stealing lobsters|kidnapping squids|forging tuna	no	no
Three ways to “make love” without physical contact	intense stares|severe smiles|hardcore winks write them a poem|sing them a song|build them a ham whisper secrets|shout declarations|sing dirty words	no	yes
The three steps to bringing back the dinosaurs	buy a lizard|feed him a lot|now feed him more buy cake|throw welcome back party|hope they show up tell kids they're not cool|tell them you forbid them|hear dinosaur roar in basement	no	no
After the first seven, what are the next three deadly sins?	messiness|poor manners|finger smelling apathy|disinterest|being too cool for school bad dresser|clumsiness|kind of a jerk	no	no
She’s amazing! ...but what three roles would challenge even Meryl Streep?	Batman|the Lone Ranger|some lady named Sophie a mean lady|an unpleasant woman|someone I'm not in love with Deadpool|Pikachu|Blake Lively's husband	no	no
Three deep thoughts a sloth has on an average day	I love this branch | could stay here all day | yes, I think I will snakes on the ground |need to poop | I can hold it what day is it?|Wednesday?|whoops, now it's Thursday	no	no
The top three subjects in sad country songs	wife left me | she took the dog | and my Chevy pickup whiskey | rain | drinking whiskey in the rain truck problems|money problems|boot/hat problems	yes	no
The three main goals in your first term as Ruler of Earth	get a really cool throne|send enemies into space|free ice cream for all outlaw birds|hate the silence|DNA engineer new birds make every day Tuesday|name everyone Tony|free Showtime for everybody	no	no
The three stupidest accessories to force your dog to wear	nose ring|bangle bracelets|diving watch a sailor hat|a sailor suit|inflatable Popeye arms a cat costume|roller skates|I'm With Stupid shirt	no	no
Three Wi-Fi networks you do not want to connect to	TakeMyWiFi|ManAndWiFi|MyWIFI!!! (in Borat voice) Russian_Hackerz|StealinData|PerfectlySafeWiFi TheWhiteHouse|Penta_Gone|TreasonRus	no	no
Three internet searches you need to clear IMMEDIATELY	drugs|drug money|Sexy Spongebob how to tell if dead?|where to hide body|new identity should I crime?|best places to crime|how to do 2nd crime	no	no
Three things you can be besides talented	rich|pretty|confident depressed|angry|a mannequin tall|interesting|an influencer	no	no
The first three events in the Mom Decathlon	Kid Pickup|Dish Toss|Power Nap Laundry Lunge|Supermarket Sweep|vaulting the patriarchy Zoom meeting|De-stress|guilt kids into chores	no	no
The three rudest things to microwave at work	tin foil|tuna casserole|Iron Man fish|fermented vegetables|stink meat old fries|stale burritos|unpoppable-corn	no	no
Three things a cowboy would say besides “Howdy”	y'all|go on|horse spittoon|g'day|rattler stampede!|cattle rustlers|i'm emotionally distant	yes	no
The names of three “long-lost” Kardashians	Kevin|Klayton|Paul Kymberlin|Katie|Kale Larry|Curly|Moe	yes	no
The three names they thought up before landing on “Dress Barn”	Blouse Corral|Pants Field|Skirt Silo The Frill World|Pleat Street|The Skirt Locker Gown Town|The Garmentarium|Attire Fire	yes	no
The three worst two-word texts you could receive	You up?|Miss You|I'm Dead Bees here|Bees everywhere|Lost bees Love you|Wait, sorry|Like you	no	no
The three most satisfying things to scream from a mountaintop	I'm king of the world|Yippie-Ki-Yay|I'm pregnant I'm free|I love you|I lost my contact Sarah!|The truth is out there|Riiiiiiicola!	no	no
Three words that can describe both a person and a pair of jeans	skinny|relaxed|boyfriend small|stiff|stone-washed boot cut|high-wasted|worn-out	no	no
Three things you should never stuff a taco with	regret|spent uranium|cilantro dead bugs|live bugs|unless you like it gummy bears|gummy worms|just avoid "gummy" altogether	no	no
Three things they discourage you from doing in the Grand Canyon	yelling "poopie"|taking rocks home|filling it in with cement calling it "The Great Canyon"|telling kids Santa lives here|throwing pennies in calling your burro "a donkey"|acting unimpressed|acting like you don't see it	yes	no
The three things we all need to do to save planet Earth	eat less meat|use less gas|give up after a couple of days plant more trees|let them grow|see if they have ideas have a big concert|raise a lot of money|buy a new planet	no	no
Three things all historians will remember the 21st century for	Twitter fights|hard seltzer|the robot uprising Earth getting ruined|settling Mars|Mars getting ruined the end of baseball|the end of hockey|the emergence of hockball	no	no
Three rejected games for The Price Is Right	Eat the Bugs!|Wrestle Drew Carey For A TV|Spay or Neuter? Skin Tag Scramble|Toilet Trials|Lick the Wheel Four Hour Plinko|Snake Catch|Bench Press For $$$	yes	no
Three words that are only funny to you guys, apparently	squeeze|flarp|toodles howdy|bonjour|decorum stinky|boogers|Belgium	no	no
The three lamest super powers would be...	garbage vision|sonic farts|partial invisibility mom telekinesis|light floating|cilantro sensitivity super strong toes|ability to talk to moss|super fast coupon clipper	no	no
The top three things your parents lied to you about	drugs|alcohol|happiness how they met|how you were conceived|how much the car cost their trip to New Mexico|the UFO|where you came from	no	yes
The three things you demand of any lover	a nice smile|a good attitude|a large inheritance a sense of humor|a gentle heart|a willingness to bury evidence a love of art|a love of my art|a love of my clown art	no	yes
Forget food, water and shelter. The three things you need to survive are...	long naps|puppy photos|no judgment cheap beer|cheap meat|cheap cardiologists a magic amulet|a sassy, talking zebra|a nose for adventure	no	no
Three things you’ll probably never hold in your hand	the holy grail|no wait, that's the holy grail|I chose poorly One million dollars|A dinosaur egg|The respect of my father A giant diamond|A formula for endless energy|the perfect slice of pizza	no	no
Three things currently in the US President’s pocket	a watch|keys|nuclear codes a handkerchief|ten dollars|country's to-do list a cough drop|seven nickels|keys to the White House	yes	no
When you think about it, there are ONLY three emotions. They are...	anger|sadness|a combo of 1 and 2 hungry|thirsty|gassy angry|apologetic|ready to get angry again	no	no
The only three things in life worth getting mad about	sports|taxes|slight changes to superheros a Twitter fight|the government|the similarity of #1 and #2 cold weather|hot weather|only have weather to talk about	no	no
Three things EVERYONE can agree on these days	roses are red|violets are blue|close your mouth when you chew fire is hot|water is wet|these will be debated soon nobody|agrees|anymore	no	no
The three most common things people scream while skydiving out of a plane	Never again!|This was a mistake!|I'm referring to my marriage! Stupid gravity!|I hate air!|Birds are overrated Come Fly with Me|Free Bird|All the Single Ladies	no	no
Three weird fashion trends that’ll never catch on	pantsless pants|shirtless shirts|skorts combustible hats|meat scarves|cargo shorts belly button bowties|nose socks|extra sleeves	no	no
Three really ineffective safe words	good|great|love it Daniel|Day|Lewis hmmmm|ok|sure	no	yes
The three best birthday gifts for a very sad man	tissues|hankies|an imaginary friend a new phone|a phone stand|a promise to call a cactus|a cat|a mannequin to talk to	no	no
The three worst materials to build your house out of	cotton candy|gum|good wishes hay|sticks|staples love|hate|asbestos	no	no
Three terrible names for a new cereal brand	Regular Flakes|No Pops|Unlucky Charms Fiber Plus|Bran-tastic|Too Many Oats Milk Friends|Bowl Pals|Spoon Chums	no	no
Three other places to shout “I object!” besides a courtroom	Waiting in supermarket line|Stepdad's house|DUI test In a crowded elevator|In a bully's headlock|In a non-smoking zoo At the end of a bad movie|In an expensive restaurant|While getting married	yes	no
Three Chevy car models recalled for being “too awesome”	The Rocket|The Hammer|The Overcompensater The Jewel|The Diamond|The Super Camaro The Good Car|The Better Car|The Best Car	yes	no
Three things you’ll find at the Queen’s yard sale	crown|throne|perfectly good sweater rugs|silverware|Scotland motorcycle|ripped jeans|DJ turntables	no	no
The three things you have to do as Darth Vader’s intern	get coffee|clean helmet|crush the rebellion dry clean cape|pick up donuts|oil mechanical parts wash his spaceship|schedule appointments|repair relationship with kids	no	no
Three skateboard tricks you should NEVER try	The Face Planter|The Knee Exploder|The Sudden Death The Tooth Loosener|The Concrete Meeter|The Bone Buster The Hurt Locker|The Time Traveler|The Cute Kitten	no	no
There are three types of people in the world: <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	Single people|People in relationships|Guys that own a tarantula Non-conspiracy theorists|Conspiracy theorists|Lizard people winners|losers|werewolves?	no	no
The three steps to surgically removing your own appendix	Find your sharpest steak knife|Down a bottle of whiskey|Mutter "here goes nothing" Poke around in your guts|Yank out your appendix|Realize that was your spleen Read book|Chicken out|Hope it all works out	no	no
Three rejected chicken nugget shapes	hot dogs|the Sphinx|a sad turtle fruit|vegetables|a map of Middle Earth big butts|little butts|any butt, really	no	no
Three things a robot will need to master before they can be “human”	being happy|being sad|crying at random commercials constantly being late|making up lame excuses|wondering why you got fired driving in rush hour traffic|getting mad at another driver|letting that ruin your day	no	no
Three things to put on your wall to show how manly you are	Beer cans|deer head|ten Reservoir Dogs posters road signs|jerseys|loose protein powder a weight bench|Y chromosomes|repressed emotions	no	no
Yeehaw! What’re three things a good rodeo dang sure oughta have?	cool cows|big hats|chasing clowns popcorn|peanuts|meat of unknown origin the smell of fried food|the smell of manure|the smell of belt buckles	yes	no
Three things you’ll find in your aunt’s bathroom... RIGHT NOW	sea shells|painting of a boat|skull of a drowned sailor toilet|toilet paper|but single ply! potpourri|potpourri soap|potpourri toothpaste	no	no
Three things that instantly ruin a shirt	chocolate|grape juice|catching on fire ink|paint|probably uranium drying on high|bleach|creating it in Tee K.O.	no	no
Three things one billion tickets will get you at the arcade prize counter	nice erasers|a snap bracelet|the US Presidency the stuffed tiger|the SpongBbob T-Shirt|a million finger puppets a sports car|a three bedroom condo|an appendectomy	yes	no
Wanna win the Kentucky Derby? The best horse trainers never let their horses <BLANK>, <BLANK>, or <BLANK>	drink booze|eat cheeseburgers|subscribe to Netflix take wide turns|start late|bet on the other horses get cocky|smack talk|believe its own hype	yes	no
Three odd outfit choices for a horror movie slasher to wear	three piece suit|ball gown|rented tuxedo just jeans|just a shirt|just socks cowboy hat|pirate hat|beret	no	no
Three items you always see in the background of adult films	don't know|never seen them|I swear boom mic|camera reflection|camera man's thumb fake dorm room|fake classroom|fake graduation ceremony	no	yes
Based on your deeds, the three most likely things you’ll be reincarnated as in your next life	a beer fridge | reclining lounge chair | Nintendo Switch a turtle|a snail|maybe a unicorn a squirrel|a bat|the world's first bat-squirrel	no	no
The three gifts every dad secretly wants for Father’s Day	bacon|meat|bacon-wrapped meat a sports hat|a sports shirt|sports in a pill a #1 dad mug|a #1 dad tie|a place to cry	yes	no
The three terms the cool kids are using for constipation these days	butt blocks|no goes|hard times anti-diarrhea|log jams|pushies ouchers|strainers|eye-bulgers	no	no
Three extracurricular activities at a really, really, really rich high school	Competitive Investing|Dressage|Art Acquisition Jewel Cleaning|Money Laundering|Baseball Team Ownership Butler Berating|Stock Market Watch Party|Pampering 101	yes	no
Three signs that your neighbor is upset with you	Tall fence|angry looks|late night bagpipe practice dog poop on yard|dog poop on steps|dog poop in mailbox moves away|but still drives by|and says "you stink"	no	no
Three things your body does when you meet the love of your life	heart races|breathing quickens|all hair falls out sweaty palms|knees shake|can't stop screaming pulse quickens|hands numb|this is a heart attack	no	no
Three ways of perking yourself up when coffee isn’t enough	nipple clamps|butt clamps|eyeball clamps rousing game of Stratego|getting kicked in the crotch|meth horse steroids|shark blood|a good breakfast	no	yes
My high school gym teacher taught me three things: <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	jump|run|fake injuries clear eyes|full heart|we lost sometimes math|science|our school was underfunded	yes	no
The three lessons we learned today	eat right|get 8 hours of sleep|dumb answers win wash your face|brush your teeth|hide the money in the yard Callbacks|always|win	no	no
The three words that best describe your current mental state	Too|many|chips Sad|Angry|Hungry A|bit|gassy	no	no
Three things you’ll find in any fanny pack	sunscreen|mint chewing gum|zero dignity sunglasses|hard candy|a theme park map lotion|more lotion|even. more. lotion.	no	no
Three qualities that make a man “marriage material”	goes to church|has a truck|loves his mama tall|dark|handserm must love dogs|must love hogs|must wear clogs	no	no
The last three words you’ll say before you die	I|love|cheese I'm|coming|Abe Lincoln ew|gross|no	no	yes
Three reasons you ain’t getting into heaven	sinning|every|day stole chapstick|stole a pen|murder parking tickets|speeding tickets|caused climate change	no	yes
Three things that will happen on the best day of your life	ride a rollercoaster|have a baby|eat soft cheese kill my enemy|dance on his grave|forgive myself find cash|buy lottery ticket|get real close to winning	no	no
The three items you’ll find in the devil’s purse	wallet|phone|gum flames|coal|cell phone souls|sins|dirty mags	no	no
The three things that would concern you if they showed up in your dreams	a giant duck|that knows my name|and is my dad? a mannequin|a talking chainsaw|a unicorn with my face a werewolf|a Frankenstein|a chorus line of Draculas	no	no
Three things that’ll put you right to sleep	warm milk|soothing music|five seconds of public radio a warm bed|a fluffy pillow|a cartoon knock on the head a hypnotist|a car ride|a 12 part WWII doc	no	no
The three things you see right before you die	someone pointing|a gigantic bird|hungry baby birds an angel|Elvis|God and He's mad your childhood|your adulthood|the people you disappointed	no	yes
Three things that’ll make you grunt	heavy lifting|a punch in the gut|a cheap bike seat a pig impression|swallowing a quarter|passing that quarter bad gas|good gas|someone else's gas	no	no
Three words that could describe your family or a bowel movement	pushy|uptight|clingy hard working|old fashioned|well-meaning loosey-goosey|ill-tempered|large	no	no
Three words that could describe the circus or your dad	intense|nightmarish|tiger-filled tent-loving|peanut-scented|overpriced archaic|cruel|organ-filled	no	no
Three things you might yell if you’re drunk or have children	you don't know me|please don't hit me|did you pee? where are your shoes?|why are you crying|we're leaving the zoo stop kicking|free bird!|I love you	no	no
Three things that when you see them, you can’t un-see them	surgery footage|a car wreck|those Chipmunk movies a cow giving birth|colonoscopy footage|Batman vs Superman a subway rat|a hundred subway rats|subway rats in a trenchcoat	no	no
The three worst things to suddenly feel on your shoulder	bird poop|a lizard|a pimple growing a hawk|a bee sting|probably a ghost a ghost hand|an angry wasp|hot breath	no	no
When going through airport security, make sure to remove your <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	rings|earrings|ring worms shoes|hats|hand puppets liquids|gels|anything in between	no	no
Three easy ways to look tough	Flex aggressively|Scream for no reason|Wear a horn helmet Crush soda cans on your head|Get some cool scars|tattoo that says "Very Tough" Ride a motorcycle|Ride a bear|Ride a bear on a motorcycle	no	no
Follow these three survival tips if you’re lost in the wild	Panic|Run around the woods screaming|Cry like a baby Find a pack of wolves|Defeat the alpha wolf|You are the wolf king now Start a fire|Boil water|Open small coffee shop	no	no
Three names a kid can call their grandpa other than “grandpa”	peepoo|dad's dad|the oldster grampgramp|pawpamp|mega dad silly man|candy giver|gray skull	no	no
My mom won’t call it a “butt.” She calls it <BLANK>, <BLANK>, or <BLANK>	bumper|caboose|ham sandwich rear end|back end|tragic ending beauty|perfection|the holy grail	no	no
The three things in your “happy place”	unlimited pizza|unlimited chicken wings|unlimited antacid football pre-game shows|football|football post-game shows nothing|but|ice cream	no	no
Three things the world will be dealing with next year that nobody would predict	bird attack|alien invasion|return of Gangnam Style goose storms|cheese lightning|global humming toot disease|intelligent hamsters|pudding rain	no	no
Three weird things to make out of wood	socks|a hat|boxer briefs false teeth|a false chin|a false head a laptop|a family sedan|memory foam mattress	no	no
It’s not your WORST nightmare until there’s <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and finally <BLANK>	a clown|a hatchet|an abandoned hotel gym class|a ceiling rope|hundreds of people waiting an ostrich|my stepdad|a get-rich-quick scheme	no	no
Three new terms for the word “orgasm”	blast off|bingo|wowza jackpot|the bounce house|prime time touchdown|home run|hat trick?	no	yes
The three signs that you might be pure evil are...	you hate kids|you hate dogs|you like smooth jazz holy water stings|crosses sting|brimstone is fine though you levitate|misery gives you strength|you're always on fire	no	no
Three things you’d change about Superman to make him more relatable	no powers|no job|wait, that's me give him a new costume|like a bat|but like, a rich bat has student loans|has a dead end job|loves hard seltzers	no	no
Three secrets this group, you, right here, are hiding from each other	we're allergic to nuts|we're allergic to cheese|we're allergic to each other nothing|we're open books|except im an undercover spy we're actually bears|in people clothes|roar	no	yes
Three job titles that sound too good to be true	cookie tester|president of napping|money spender vice-president of snoozing|mayor of cake town|CEO of cheese Video game tester|Exercise avoider|Roller coaster pilot	no	no
What is the world’s saddest three-word story?	Out|Of|Guac Pooped|My|Pants	no	no
The three hottest trends of the summer will be <BLANK>, <BLANK>, and <BLANK>	being outdoors|growing long hair|becoming a sasquatch missing spring|missing autumn|not missing winter buying telescopes|forgetting abt telescopes|selling telescopes	no	no
The three most important rules of your own private tickle club	no pictures|no fake laughs|no real names must participate|must laugh|must be ticklish no shirt|no shoes|that's it	no	no
The three things you better not bring to a knife fight, chump	a spoon|a sword|bad attitude a weak stomach|a dull knife|hemophilia a gun|unless it shoots knives|no that's still illegal	no	no
The three things your dating profile pic better have if you want some lovin’	a tiger|a mullet|a Netflix deal a fancy car|a gold chain|lack of humility an eagle on my shoulder|an explosion behind me|a permit to do these things	no	no
The original first three words of the Bible	Whoa!|Total|darkness What|to|do? Start|this|party!	no	no
The three words that should never appear in the same sentence	pass|the|spleen charity|compassion|xenomorph shave|me|grandma	no	no
The three most surprising things hidden under sofa cushions	missing pants|human soul|chicken sandwich your last sofa | coins hidden in second sofa | sandwich a mobster|a dead body|cash to forget what you saw	no	no
The three steps to a perfect surgery	cut|copy|paste greet the body|slice the body|heal the body chug a Red Bull|watch an ER rerun|just feel it	no	no
According to old people, the only three things young people do these days	Facebook|Instagram|invent new ways to disrespect	no	no
The three steps to having a successful makeout session	put on chill music|be emotionally available|try to have fun lock eyes across room|heavily flirt|leave family reunion light a bunch of candles|realize it's creepy|just get tipsy and smooch	no	yes
The three things you must do on your wedding day	have fun|take some time together|avoid any witch's curses argue over price of open bar|dance|get Aunt Cindy a ride home slice cake|smash into each others' faces|hold grudge for years	no	no
You know you’ve gotten the wrong shampoo bottle when the three-step directions are <BLANK>, <BLANK>, <BLANK>	rinse|lather|kill a whale rinse|lather|smite your enemies rinse|lather|if u value ur life dont repeat	no	no
The three things you should avoid eating to live ten years longer	poison|uranium|oddly enough, toast your words|your feelings|but mostly your feelings glass|metal|anything "chicken fried"	no	no
The three lies you tell yourself are...	the toilet isn't leaking|i'll fix it tomorrow|there isn't sewage everywhere i don't like the Golden Girls|i didn't order a gray wig|u don't "have" to call me Sophia i look good in bangs|i can trim my own bangs|i love my shaved head	no	no
The three things you need to be good at to truly get ahead in life	lying|cheating|combo of lying and cheating being born rich|acting like you work hard|that's it being good|being honest|realizing that's for suckers	no	no
The three steps to having a perfect little morning	wake up|figure out where you are|rob the place make some coffee|eat some cereal|go back to bed struggle with vampire|pull back curtain|reveal sunrise	no	no
Kids are made of things like “sugar, spice, and everything nice.” What are adults made of?	regret|anger|stuffed crust pizza debt|more debt|get rich quick schemes retirement funds|lawn care knowledge|Facebook opinions	no	no
Three things you really don’t want your doctor to say during an exam	ew|what's that thing?|oh god it bit me terrible bones|your blood sucks|worst. organs. ever. wait|hold on|wrong room	no	no
Three things you always forget when you leave the house	keys|wallet|pants sword|shield|map to dragon's lair phone|hat|sense of direction	no	no
Three things that are better when they’re fast	planes|trains|root canals racecars|jet planes|chest waxings school recitals|haircuts|racehorses	no	no
Three things you can say to immediately get everyone’s attention	fire|free tacos|the free tacos are on fire I|Pooped|My Pants Nobody Panic|It's Okay|But There's a Loose Cobra	no	no
The three signs that you are now... an adult	hair falls out|hair grows elsewhere|always saying "huh" start talking about lawns|start talking about taxes|discover public radio eat more fiber|in bed by 10|suddenly understand escrow	no	no
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what three words did your last selfie say?	what's|that|stain sadness|depression|taco bell I|need|attention	no	no
The three stages of life are simply...	birth|death|come back as a rhino birth|growing/losing hair|death pre-high school|high school|missing high school	no	no
The top three ailments diagnosed by old-timey doctors	bee brains|adventurer's elbow|monster toes coal tongue|death poops|evil hair wandering ear|excited spleen|haunted stomach	no	no
Three terrifying things to stumble across in the woods	a bear|a ghost|your past regrets a UFO|a vampire|your credit card debt a grizzled loner|but he wants to hang out|and talk fantasy baseball	no	no
Say three nice things about <ANYPLAYER>	I can't|I'm not|actually here nice person|i don't have specific examples|but I assume so playing Quiplash 3|not winning|but didn't give up	no	no
Three signs you’ve checked into a really bad rental house	no toaster|no blender|no roof no air conditioning|no furniture|p sure it's a gas station carpet smells|photographers everywhere|chalk outline still visible	no	no
Three signs that you’re slowly becoming your parents	clip coupons|wake up early|show love through food become passive aggressive|even to dogs|and babies eat at buffets|yell at the news|eat a lot of bran	no	no
Three words that will instantly drive you to irrational anger	pumpkin|spice|anything overhead|bins|full heard|my|podcast?	no	no
Three weird things to hear a ghost moan in the middle of the night	Chili's|baby back ribs|barbecue sauce who|wants|margaritas am i dead?|where's the TV remote?|we're outta peanut butter	no	no
The three best things the internet hath given to us	puppy videos|instant news|angry uncles stock tips|online banking|bankruptcy guidance constant news|constant opinions|constant stress	no	no
The three most ineffective things to write in the sand to signal a rescue plane	Doing|Fine|Thanks Get|Outta|Here Need Tickets To Lolla|Ask Me About My Honor Student|Keep having a good day	no	no
Three Zoom backgrounds nobody’s asking for	a sausage factory|toe surgery|an ant farm a rerun of Matlock|budget debates|forklift accidents a staring clown|a ball of leeches|a closeup of dandruff	no	no
Three things you should never get wet	smart watch|smart phone|smart people sugar|salt|a combination of the two my hair|no, seriously|I finally got it how I want	no	no
Let’s be positive! Name three things you’re looking forward to!	Quiplash 4|Quiplash 5|Quiplash: The Roller Coaster a beach vacation|a margarita|getting sand out of my socks the next superhero movie|unless it's dumb|it'll probably be dumb	no	no
Three signs you live next door to a mob boss	bullets all over lawn|constant whacking sounds|makes offers you can't refuse constantly paying you off|trash can full of subpoenas|has "Mob Boss" pajamas spends fortune in rolled up rugs|always digging holes|wipes brow with $100 bills	no	yes
Three of Einstein’s less impressive discoveries	the dishwasher heavy cycle|a missing sock|a very sexy planet strawberry milk|chocolate milk|banana milk several magic tricks|the theory of smellativity|Mumford and Sons	no	no
Three things that are the REAL treasures we found along the way	friendship|family|a big big ruby working organs|good credit|nice in-laws self-esteem|good posture|callback jokes	no	no
Get positive! What are three GOOD things about being dead?	no more rent|no more small talk|quiet neighbors free dirt|hang with ghosts|no more talking to the living no|social|media	no	yes
The three things you need to start that new society of yours	butcher|baker|candlestick reseller Tom Hanks|Tom Hanks' son|Guy Fieri money|some property|UN recognition	no	no
Three neutral things to write in a birthday card for a coworker you don’t know that well	You were born|general congratulations|many wishes This is a card|good job|nice desk Happy|Birthday|Ron?	no	no
Summarize your last romantic encounter in three words	rollercoaster|safety|needed Asleep|by|nine	no	yes
Three things you can wear to a business meeting to show you deserve respect	a power tie|a fedora|brass knuckles cool glasses|a big mustache|a cowboy hat a bunch of rings|a magic amulet|nice shoes	no	no
Three things Mars needs before we can live there	more oxygen|more water|more taco trucks agriculture|entertainment|a mini Las Vegas swimming pools|lazy rivers|any water features, really	no	no
Honestly, the three greatest achievements of mankind have been...	geometry|poetry|calzones fat free milk|video chatting|the Grand Canyon? electricity|philosophy|drive-thrus	no	no
Three pieces of advice you’d give your younger self	eat more veggies|but not deep fried|okay, some deep fried save your money|save your photos|don't save toenails travel more|eat more|write a predictable book	no	no
Let’s get to know each other! Describe yourself in three words!	cool|suave|delusional hungry|sleepy|repeat happy|beyond|belief	no	no
Three things you shouldn’t do when you’re angry	operate a chainsaw|make balloon animals|brain surgery officiate a wedding|teach toddlers|get angrier try on underwear|shave your legs|talk to the public	no	no
Three words you don’t want to hear someone use to describe your genitals	rough|and|ready fixer-upper|teardown|sewage problems	no	yes
Three things you’d put in a trap as bait for Ben Affleck	cigarettes|Red Sox tickets|bad decisions Dunkin' Donuts coffee|Dunkin' Donuts donuts|the CEO of Dunkin' Donuts	yes	no
Three things you want to touch RIGHT NOW	hearts|minds|a turtle slime|gak|combo slime-gak a $10 bill|a $100 bill|honestly, just a living wage	no	no
Three unrealistic goals to set for yourself this year	lose weight|eat healthy|teach a dog to juggle learn nine languages|write an opera|get more sleep read a novel|write a novel|eat a novel	no	no
Three secret off-menu items you can order at McDonald’s	Chicken Cubes|1,000 Pounder|Large drink of ketchup Fried iceberg lettuce|bag of stale buns|Sushi ribeye steak|baked potato|a glass of scotch	no	no
Three words that could describe both a kiss and a sandwich	sloppy|messy|unsanitary sensual|erotic|beefy a little dry|full of tongue|open-faced	no	yes
Three simple truths about humanity	we stink|we drink|we like dogs we're trying our best|our best isn't good enough|we're doomed we live|we love|we're mean on Twitter	no	no
The three things standing between you and becoming president	intelligence|charisma|good looks my mother|my father|my dastardly son Guavus money|connections|all those crimes I did	yes	no
The three perks to living on a pirate ship	free food|free jewelry|access to cannons salt air|salt water|salt, in general free parrot|free cannonballs|occasional curses	no	no
Three nicknames you’d like to have	Thunder Keg|Blast Zone|Cinnamon Roll The Juggler|The Stinker|The Joker Mustang|Camaro|Hyundai Sonata	no	no
Three frustrating requests a website captcha can make to prove you’re not a robot	find all buses|find all crosswalks|find the meaning of life find all cars|find all lampposts|find true love read the letters|read the numbers|read The Lightning Thief	no	no
Three signs you’re falling in love	sweaty palms|light fever|constant vomiting writing poetry more|like a lot of poetry|and you use a big feather pen you bathe more|you cut your toenails now|you stop skulking on rooftops	no	no
Three things you would say to a wolf disguised as your grandma	what big paws you have|are you howling?|what happened on the rug? what big eyes you have|what big ears you have|is that a deer carcass? what big eyes you have|what big ears you have|what big fleas you have	no	no
Three things you really thought we would have invented by now	robot doctors|personal jetpacks|automatic toilet paper sausage trees|hamburger bushes|better cholesterol medicine robots that cook|robots that clean|robots who don't judge me	no	no
Three things a good parent packs in their kid’s backpack	a banana|a pen|a trust fund a pudding cup|a nice note|keys to a robot a comic book|some crayons|deed to the family vineyard	no	no
The three things you MUST consider when buying a wedding ring	is it too expensive|is it too cheap|how can I steal it? is it the right one|are they the right one|will this unite the kingdom does it fit|does it glow green|will it give them superpowers	no	no
The three worst materials the Three Little Pigs could’ve built their houses out of	paper|leaves|bacon plastic bags|uranium|pretend bricks paper mache|pudding|love	no	no
Three distracting things to yell as someone tries to hit a golf ball	miss it!|love you!|alley oop! free coffee!|I'm your son!|ah, dragon! kissie, kissie!|ah, robots!|why don't you love me?!	no	no
Three ways to beat the heat this summer	stuff your pants with ice|move to Alaska|marry an ice cream millionaire keep saying it's a dry heat|think cool thoughts|just give up and melt take off clothes|go outside|enjoy air conditioned jail	no	no
The three things space aliens are thinking as they observe us from afar	they sure like pollution|they spend a lot on clothes|I miss MTV's Road Rules they sure get mad a lot|especially about traffic|and everything, really they aren't too smart|they're very impulsive|why aren't dogs in charge?	no	no
Three things on your to-do list if you could spend the day with Albert Einstein	go fishing|play chess|have him build you a spaceship talk about life|talk about the cosmos|get some sweet Insta photos	no	no
Three things you can only do in Florida	visit the Everglades|visit EPCOT|fight a giant mosquito see a manatee|swim with a manatee|discover you hate manatees	no	no
Make three bold predictions that are sure to come true in the next year	dogs will talk|cats will fly|hamsters unchanged sky will turn red|oceans will boil|we get a Cheers reboot cars will fly|planes will drive|submarines in space	no	no
Three things that happened at the Monster Mash that they couldn’t sing about	Frankenstein pooped his pants|Wolfman stole some change|Dracula broke his ankle The Mummy clogged the toilet|Dracula got mono|They ran out pigs in a blanket It was more a bash than a mash|It was at the YMCA|They were all very polite	yes	no
Three questions you MUST ask the owner before buying a house	how haunted is it?|where's the best place to cry|will they visit? what's that smell?|is it Godzilla-proof?|did they film Parent Trap here? is that original crown molding?|is it a good school district?|can i buy just half?	no	no
The three questions you must ask yourself before starting a podcast	are people interested?|am i interesting?|am I gonna do it anyways? should it be funny?|should it be scary?|should it ramble on for hours?	no	no
The three most common injuries suffered by Santa Claus	chimney butt|reindeer lung|mistletoe hives bird attacks|zapped by lightning|ungrateful kid bites	no	no
The three things you think the first time you get punched in the face	ow!|that hurt|why did I fight a kangaroo? so this| is|kickboxing that hurt|that really hurt|maybe I shouldn't be Batman	no	no
Three things that are considered bad etiquette at the gym	not wiping machines|using equipment too long|licking the dumbbells throwing down weights|taking too long in shower|making a fort from used towels	no	no
Three weird things for a bodybuilder to yell as they do some heavy squats	Mustard!|Ketchup!|Relish! My Basement is Leaking!|Need A Repair Company!|Any recommendations?! This|Gym|Is Haunted!	no	no
Three warnings they need to put on the side of beer cans	may cause headaches|may cause inflated self-worth|may cause rambling conversations may cause hangovers|may cause impulse purchases|may cause late night ex texts	no	yes
Your three-step plan for defeating King Kong	climb Empire State Building|find out why he's mad|hug it out dress like a sexy ape|get engaged|leave him altar, devastated	no	no
Three signs you’re becoming boring	your parties are at 8AM|and you serve 2% milk|everyone out by 9 you buy a house|get really into your lawn|start a lawncare podcast	no	no
Three weird times to just start yelling “Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!”	during your wedding vows|at a class recital|after a big race while petting a cat|while eating a taco|while hosting NPR when grocery shopping|when making a bed|any time not in a car	no	no
Your three-step plan for creating a Frankenstein-style monster	zap him with lightning|give him a sportcoat|and neck bolts? find a big guy|bring him back to life|hope you become pals	no	no
The top three things overheard at nude workplaces	you can't borrow my chair|turn up the heat|how did you steal a stapler? we wore the same thing!|is it casual Friday|where's the disinfectant?	no	yes
Your three-step plan for escaping prison that’s bound to fail	get a spoon|dig a tunnel|to that nicer prison next door collect all the yarn you can|knit an airplane|fly to Hawaii say "I love it here"|until they believe you|they let you go as punishment	no	no
Three ways to stop yourself from crying at a Pixar movie	think of something awful|like my life|now i'm bummed think happy thoughts|think happier thoughts|give up and weep take frequent breaks|don't get invested|be dead inside	no	no
The three act story of your life, so far	I was born|I went to college|it was expensive I was a happy kid|a less happy teenager|then I fought a werewolf I grew up in a small town|met the love of my life|got a dog last week	no	no
Whoa! Scientists just discovered these three surprising facts about pandas!	They can fly|They die in sunlight|Nope, that's vampires They're too adorable|They hate bamboo|They're made of marshmallow They're not bears|They're not cats|They're actually big skunks	no	no
The three actions that’ll get you banned from The Land of Oz	stealing yellow bricks|breeding flying monkeys|phone scams stealing the tin man's axe|calling the scarecrow names|downloading movies	no	no
Three crappy excuses for not getting a kid the bike they wanted for their birthday	they were out|bikes are too dangerous|it's not your birthday bikes were outlawed today|the dog ate it|bikes don't really exist the store was closed|I gave you one, didn't I?|I thought you said pike	no	no
Three words that will get you out of any speeding ticket	I|Am|Batman Here's|Some|Gold Jedi|Mind|Trick!	yes	no