Jackbox Games вики
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Jackbox Games вики

«Смехлыст» (англ. Quiplash) – это игра из серии The Jackbox Party Pack. Все игры Смехлыст, начиная с The Jackbox Party Pack 2, доступны на PlayStation 4, Xbox One, PlayStation 3 и PC. К игре могут присоединиться от 3 до 8 игроков, а остальные 10 000 игроков могут присоединиться к зрителям. Игроки должны писать смешные/глупые ответы на вопросы, задаваемые игрокам на их устройствах. Все версии игры проводятся Джошем "Шмитти" Шмитстенштейном.

Правила игры

В первом и втором раунде игроки должны за отведённое время дать ответ на два задания. После окончания времени на ответ или когда все игроки дадут свои ответы, начинается показ ответов игроков. В это время игроки и зрители выбирают один из двух ответов по своему желанию, либо могут не выбирать вовсе. После подсчёта голосов за них выдаются очки:

  • В первом раунде очки выдаются по формуле «1% проголосовавших – 10 очков» + бонус в 100 очков за победу. Во втором раунде эти значения удваиваются.
  • «Смехлыст» выдаётся в случае, если за вариант проголосовали все игроки и больше половины зрителей. Награда – дополнительные 250 очков. Вы можете получить «Супер-Смехлыст» когда ты получаешь 90% проголосовавших.
  • В случае, если оба игрока написали абсолютно одинаковый ответ, происходит «Лажа» и очков никто не получает.
  • Если игрок не даст ответ на задание вовремя, то все очки получит его соперник.

Игрок, набравший наибольшее количество очков после трёх раундов, объявляется победителем.

Финальный раунд

В играх Смехлыст и Смехлыст XL, в финальном раунде все игроки отвечают на одинаковое задание. Затем каждый игрок отдаёт три своих голоса (можно отдать как за один вариант, так и разделить). У каждого зрителя есть только по одному голосу. После этого все игроки делят 3000 очков по формуле «1% проголосовавших – 30 очков».

В финальном раунде в игре Смехлыст 2 случайным образом выбирается одна из трёх категорий:

Acro Lash.png
Буквенный раунд (Acro Lash)
Игрокам нужно придумать расшифровку трёхбуквенной аббревиатуры.
Comic Lash.png
Комиксный раунд (Comic Lash)
Игрокам нужно завершить комикс.
Word Lash.png
Словесный раунд (Word Lash)
Игрокам нужно придумать название фильма, блюда, афоризма и т. п., используя предложенное ведущим слово.

После окончания таймера игрокам показываются все ответы. Игроки должны выбрать три лучших ответа, присуждая золотую, серебряную и бронзовую медаль; в играх на 3 или 4 игрока вам нужно присуждать только золото и серебро. У зрителей есть только один голос. Затем все игроки получают очки по результатам голосования.

Смехлыст 3:
Финальный раунд в Смехлысте 3 сменил своё название вместе с игровым процессом. Теперь он называется Трихлыст (Thrip Lash), и вместо того, чтобы каждый отвечал на одно задание, игрокам даётся задание, на которое они должны дать три ответа. Как обычно, другие игроки и зрители должны решить, какой набор с тремя ответами самый смешной. В играх с нечётным количеством игроков, занявший последнее место во втором раунде, выбирается чтобы сразиться против самого Шмитти (при этом Шмитти просто отвечает заранее написанным ответом).

Нововведения

В Смехлыст 2 появилась опция Спасалка, которая забирает половину очков и вставляет случайное сообщение в качестве ответа. Существует также возможность играть в игру, используя сгенерированные пользователем заданиями. Как только все игроки войдут в игру, они будут придумывать свои собственные вопросы, на которые должны отвечать другие люди. Это не относится к Последнему Раунду, который, как обычно, всегда будет одним из трех вышеупомянутых типов заданий. Пользовательские игры можно сохранить в системе пользователя и воспроизвести позже, и даже сгенерировать уникальный 7-значный код, чтобы другие люди могли получить к нему доступ из своей системы.

В Смехлыст 3 появились новые функции хостинга, такие как вход по коду, модерация и функция выбора персонажа. В отличие от предыдущих игр, она имеет псевдо-глиняный стиль в отличие от 2D-анимации предыдущих игр. Кроме того, в этой игре были переработаны Спасалки, чтобы ответить чем-то более связанным с вопросом. Тем не менее, половина баллов по-прежнему отнимаются.

Игры франшизы

Ниже представлен список всех игр франшизы Смехлыст:

Смехлыст (Quiplash)
Смехлыст был выпущен 30 июня 2015 года и представляет собой отдельное издание за 249 ₽. У него также есть DLC под названием Quip Pack 1 за 29 ₽, которое вышло 15 августа 2015 года.

Jackbox Games воспользовалась Kickstarter для финансирования разработки игры: кампания в марте 2015 года собрала 15 000 долларов США, а завершилась свыше 30 000 долларов США от более чем 1600 спонсоров.

СмеXLыст (Quiplash XL)
СмеXLыст является одной из игр The Jackbox Party Pack 2 и был выпущен 13 октября 2015 года за 449 ₽. То же, что и в игре Смехлыст, но содержит больше заданий, включая DLC Quip Pack 1 по умолчанию.
Смехлыст 2 (Quiplash 2)
Смехлыст 2 является одной из игр в The Jackbox Party Pack 3 и был выпущен 18 октября 2016 года за 449 ₽.
Quiplash 2 InterLASHional
Quiplash 2 InterLASHional — это версия Quiplash 2 с возможностью играть в игры на английском, испанском, французском, итальянском и немецком языках. Каждый язык имеет 100 дополнительных вопросов.

Jackbox разработали версию InterLASHional после начала пандемии COVID-19, которая вынудила многих людей оставаться дома в условиях изоляции; The Jackbox Party Pack стали популярными играми, в которые играют через потоковые сетевые сервисы, чтобы помочь людям скоротать время, и вызвали большой приток игроков. Jackbox увидели, что многие из них не говорят по-английски, что привело их к решению создать отдельную версию Quiplash 2 с переводами на французский, итальянский, немецкий и испанский языки в дополнение к английскому.

Смехлыст 3 (Quiplash 3)
Смехлыст 3 является одной из игр в The Jackbox Party Pack 7 и The Jackbox Party Starter.

Текст песни

На русском На английском
Смехлыст 3!
Вот он я, а вот ты!
Я король вечеринок —
От тебя лишь понты!

Вот задание вновь...
Рассмеши нас в ответ!
И начнётся бой
В игре, где правил нет!

Смехлыст 3!
Да ты же комик внутри!
И пока остальные в раздумьях,
Всех скорей обхитри!

Смехлыст, Смехлыст 3!
Зрителей поскорей рассмеши!
Будь же смелым и креативным,
И в историю себя ты впиши

Когда настанет финальный раунд,
Места нет суете!
Одной шутки нам точно не хватит —
Рассмеши нас втройне!

Смехлыст 3!
Всех поскорей укроти,
Ведь смешнее будет втрое!
Так скорее зажги!

Оу, йе! Смехлыст 3!

Quiplash 3
Well, it’s you against me
I’m the king of party

You’re just a wannabe

Well, the prompt shows up
You give it your best shot
Then it’s head-to-head
In a comedy onslaught

Quiplash 3
It’s time to bring the funny
When it comes to witty repartee
I got a PhD

(bridge)
Quiplash… Quiplash 3
Will the audience vote for me?
Gotta muster some creativity
Get back on a winning spree…

(solo)

When it’s time for the final round
And you’re feeling carefree
Instead of writing one thing down
Now you’ve gotta write three

Quiplash 3
Laughs guaranteed
It’s funny to the third degree
The perfect way to party

… Quiplash 3!

Достижения Steam

Смехлыст

Give It The Fingers .jpg Give It The Fingers – введите оба своих ответа в одном из раундов.
Quip It Good .jpg Quip It Good – выиграйте обе схватки в одном из раундов.
Quipee-ki-yay!.jpg Quipee-ki-yay! – выиграйте все схватки в 1 и 2 раундах.
The Titular Achievement.jpg The Titular Achievement – получите «Смехлыст» (в игре на 5 игроков и более).
Sitting Ovation.jpg Sitting Ovation – сыграйте партию со зрителями.
Eighters Gonna Eight.jpg Eighters Gonna Eight – сыграйте партию с 8 игроками.
Hi, Jinx!.jpg Hi, Jinx! – введите то же самое, что и ваш соперник.
Quip Pro Quo.jpg Quip Pro Quo - введите ответ, на который отреагирует Шмитти.
He Who Lashes Last….jpg He Who Lashes Last... – в финальном раунде получите 70 или более процентов голосов.
Meatloaf Candy.jpg Meatloaf Candy – введите вариант «Meatloaf Candy» и выиграйте с ним схватку.

СмеXLыст

СмеXLыст.jpg Quip Tease – получите Смехлыст (в игре на 5+ игроков)
СмеXLыст.jpg Jinx Jinx – введите то же самое, что и противник
СмеXLыст.jpg Back Talk – напишите шутку, на которую Шмитти точно отреагирует
СмеXLыст.jpg Pork Pants – напишите “pork pants” и выиграйте схватку с ним

Смехлыст 2

Смехлыст 2 (достижение).jpg Quip it Good – получите Супер Смехлыст! (все голоса игроков и 90% голосов зрителей в игре на 5+ игроков)
Смехлыст 2 (достижение).jpg Quipwreck – выиграйте все свои схватки в 1-м раунде, но проиграйте все свои схватки во 2-м раунде
Смехлыст 2 (достижение).jpg When I Quip You Quip We Quip – создайте свою игру
Смехлыст 2 (достижение).jpg Gravy Castle – напишите "gravy castle" и выиграйте схватку с ним

Quiplash 2 InterLASHional

Quip Pro Quo (2).png Quip Pro Quo – напишите шутку, на которую Шмитти точно отреагирует.
Quip It Good (2).png Quip It Good – получите Супер Смехлыст! (все голоса игроков и 90% голосов зрителей в игре на 5+ игроков)
Quipwreck.png Quipwreck – выиграйте все свои схватки в 1-м раунде, но проиграйте все свои схватки во 2-м раунде
Quip Royale.png Quip Royale – выиграйте две игры подряд со всеми теми же игроками.
Those Who Lash Last (2).png Those Who Lash Last – сыграйте в каждый тип Финального Раунда.
The Titular Win.png The Titular Win – получите Смехлыст! (в игре на 5+ игроков)
Quipee-ki-yay! (2).png Quipee-ki-yay! – выиграйте все схватки в 1-м и 2-м раундах.
Hi, Jinx! (2).png Hi, Jinx! - введите то же самое, что и противник
Eighters Gonna Eight (2).png Eighters Gonna Eight – сыграйте партию с 8 игроками.
Safety Dance.png Safety Dance – выиграйте битву с помощью спасалки.

Смехлыст 3

Смехлыст 3 (достижение).jpg Domination – получите Смехлыст за каждый ответ в Первом, Втором и Третьем раунде
Смехлыст 3 (достижение).jpg Schmitty Schmackdown – получите Смехлыст от Шмитти в Последнем раунде
Смехлыст 3 (достижение).jpg Secret Schmitty – спровоцируйте ответ от Шмитти своим ответом
Смехлыст 3 (достижение).jpg Worst to First – будьте на последнем месте в конце Первого или Второго раундов, а затем выиграйте игру.

Интересные факты

  • Если вы вводите конкретные ответы на вопросы, Шмитти может отреагировать на них. При срабатывании игрок получает достижение под названием "Quip Pro Quo" ("Back Talk" на некоторых платформах).

Смехлыст (Quiplash)

Примечание: В данной версии Смехлыста, из-за ошибки, вы не услышите реакцию Шмитти в игре.

Вопрос на английском Ответ на английском Реакция Шмитти (английский) Вопрос на русском Ответ на русском Реакция Шмитти (русский)
The first thing you would do after winning the lottery Buy More Tickets Buy more tickets, yes! Look, if you won a million dollars of ONE ticket, think of how much you'll win buying a MILLION tickets! Что ты сделаешь сразу после того, как выиграешь в лотерее? Куплю больше лотерейных билетов
Today's music needs more _______ Cowbell Oh, yeah, I bet you want more cowbell! You know what I want? More current SNL references! Современной музыке не хватает _______ Качества
Something you'd love to smash with a wrecking ball. Miley Cyrus Aaaaand that song's back in my head. Thanks a lot. Что хотелось бы разнести ударом кувалды с размаху? Майли Сайрус
A bad campaign slogan for a congressperson? Don't vote for me Don't vote for me! Yeah, horrible slogan. UNLESS, they're using reverse psychology. Then it's brilliant! Плохой слоган для избирательной кампании кандидата в депутаты Не голосуйте за меня
The worst thing to find growing on your neck Another Head Oh come on, a second head wouldn't be so bad. Think of all the kissing you could do! Самое ужасное, что можно найти на своей шее Ещё одна голова
The least romantic place to propose marriage. Restroom Bathroom? Depends. Are you peeing in the toilet at the time, or in a luxurious flower-petal bubble bath with your loved one, peeing in there? Самое НЕромантичное место для того, чтобы сделать предложение. Туалет
A sequel to the painting "Dogs Playing Poker" Dogs Playing Strip Poker Dogs Playing Strip Poker is pretty hot. The German Shepard is already down to four of her eight teets. Продолжение картины "Собаки играют в Покер" Собаки играют в Покер на раздевание
A bad place for your rocket ship to crash would be The Planet of the ___ Apes Okay, yes, the Planet of the Apes would be a bad place to crash land but we were hoping you'd make up an answer that... you know what... nevermind. Худшее место для падения твоей ракеты Планета обезьян
A great way to kill time at work. Working Working is a great way to kill time at work! Why haven't I thought of that yet? Как убить время на работе? Работать
Where missing socks go? Heaven Heaven, huh? Well, at least I'll be reunied with all my socks after i die. Куда исчезают носки? В рай
The best way to tell if someone is dead? Ask them Yeah, you won't know for sure if someone's dead unless they tell you. Как наилучшим образом рассказать о чьей-то смерти? Спросить у них
The real secret to living to age 100 Don't Die Yes, it's a fact. 100% of people who don't die until the age 100 will live to the age of 100. Very good. You're a smarty. Probably should move you up to Quiplash Genius Edition. Стопудово работающий способ дожить до 100 лет Не умирать
A birthday present shouldn't get for your grandmother? Coffin Hey, if you really want to see your grandma's boobs, look down around her knees. Подарок, который точно не стоит дарить твоей бабушке на день рождения Гроб
The worst name for a race horse? Glue Yeah, it's so sad that horses are made into glue. The only thing that makes me feel better...(mouth full) is eating this paste. Mmmm. Худшая кличка гоночной лошади Клей
An animal Noah shouldn't have saved Mosquito Yeah, mosquitos, Noah? You had a chance to make summer AWESOME and you ruined it! You ruined everything!! Животное, которое Ной не должен был спасать Комар
The world's most boring video game Quiplash This game, really? You know what? F*** you, f*** you and f*** your mother, f*** your father, if you have a f***ing mother and father, you know how hard we worked on this f***ing game? Piece of s***. You don' t even know. You've no f***ing idea. "Oh this game, Quiplash, it's boring.", f*** you, what are you doing playing here then. Oh and you wanna know what else? It isn't even f***ing original, somebody else answered the same f***ing damn thing yesterday, ungrateful piece of s***. Самая скучная видеоигра в мире Смехлыст
The biggest downside to living in Hell? Bad WiFi Yeah, bad wi-fi and the only search engine is Ask Jeeves. Самая большая жалоба людей в аду
How many monkeys is too many monkeys? 12 Yep. Because once you have 12 monkeys, you have to go back in time and talk to crazy Brad Pitt. Он слишком много знал. А сколько много? 0
A little-known way to get gum out of your hair Сum Finally, there's a practical use for sperm. Малоизвестный способ отодрать жвачку от волос Жвачка
A rejected title for "The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly". The Good, the Bad and the ____. Horny The Good, The Bad and The Horny starring Clint's east wood. Непринятое название троицы Трус-Балбес-Бывалый: Трус, Балбес и ____. Возбуждённый
A bad place to skinny-dip? Volcano Yeah, a volcano is obviously a dumb place to skinny-dip on account of all the police that patrol up there. Худшее место, чтобы искупаться нагишом Вулкан
If a winning coach gets Gatorade dumped on his head, what should get dumped on the losing coach? Powerade Powerade: We're just happy to get our name out there! Если сборная России по футболу выиграет этот чемпионат, я лично ____. Напьюсь
What two word would passenger never want to hear a pilot say? I'm drunk Drunk pilot? Okay, yes, a drunk pilot is bad. But have you tried flying over the Midwest? It's so booooring. Два слова, которые пассажиры самолёта никогда бы не хотели услышать от пилота Я пьян
Another use for gravy. Lotion Mmm... Nothing gets rid of wrinkles like a nice turkey gravy. Другое использование подливы Лосьон
The worst thing that could crawl out of your toilet. Snake Oh come on! Without toilet snakes, the toilet rats would overrun us! Худшее, что может вылезти из твоего туалета Змея
What really happens if you tear off that mattress tag? Nothing Yeah, nothing happens. Look, I'll show you. (sfx: rip) (sfx: explosion) Что на самом деле случится, если оторвать ярлык футболки? Ничего
The password to the secret, high-society sex club down the street. Password They should at least make it “password 1-2-3,” am I right? Amateur sex people. Пароль для входа в элитный бордель на другом конце улицы Пароль
You should never ______ and _____ at the same time. Eat and Poop Right, you should always wait at least 30 minutes after eating to swim or poop, or both. And remember: swimming at pooping at the same time is always okay. Тебе никогда не стоит делать ______ и ______ одновременно Есть и Срать
The worst children board game "__ , __ Hippos" Horny Horny Yeah, those are horny, horny hippos. Look at ‘em going after those balls! Худшей детской настольной игрой будет "__ , __ бегемоты" Горячие Горячие
The best thing to use when you're out of toilet paper Sandpaper Just make sure you sand your anus smooth and put a lacquer finish on for that rustic look. Лучшая замена туалетной бумаге, если она у тебя закончилась Тёрка


DLC "Quip Pack 1"

Примечание: В данной версии Смехлыста, из-за ошибки, вы не услышите реакцию Шмитти в игре.

Вопрос на английском Ответ на английском Реакция Шмитти (английский) Вопрос на русском Ответ на русском Реакция Шмитти (русский)
What is the Loch Ness Monster, really? Dinosaur A dinosaur? Get Jeff Goldblum to Scotland, STAT! Чем на самом деле является лох-несское чудовище? Динозавром
What should we do with all of that plastic that won't disintegrate? Eat it Ok, follow-up question: What should we do with all of that plastic that won't pass through our digestive system? Что бы сделать со всем этим неразлагающимся пластиком? Съесть
Forget coffee. Don't talk to me until I've had my <BLANK> Revenge I know. I am useless before exacting swift justice upon my enemies in the morning. Am I right? Никакого больше кофе. Не отвлекайте меня от этой замечательной чашки с <BLANK> Чаем
The name of a new, terrifying species of spider Anus spiders A spider that lives in your butt? Talk about a brown recluse. Новое пугающее место обитания пауков Анус
Dodgeball would be an even better sport if <BLANK> were allowed Being nude What? You want to make your tender parts MORE vulnerable to rubber ball attacks? Игра в вышибалу будет только интереснее, если <BLANK> Все будут голыми
The name of a fast food restaurant in the Stone Age Woolly McMammoths Woolly McMammoths: home of the Mastodon burger and sabretooth curly fries! Хорошее название для забегаловки в каменном веке МакМамонт
What is the Abraham Lincoln statue thinking while he's sitting there in the Lincoln Memorial? Fuck Thomas Jefferson Why you gotta be jealous of Jefferson, Abe? He's on the nickel, but YOU, you're on the five dollar bill. Five dollars! That's a footlong at Subway! О чём думает скульптура Родена "Мыслитель"? Что делать?
“Don't blame me, I voted for <BLANK>.” Kodos Listen, there are plenty of other places to show off your Simpsons-quoting ability. Let this be a warning. "Я на выборы никогда не ходил, но в этот раз точно пойду за <BLANK> голосовать. Кандидат от народа!" Грудинина
The last thing you'd want to find in your air ducts John McClane Yep. That means in you're a Die Hard movie, but at least you're in the good Die Hard movie. Последнее, что тебе хотелось бы найти во время ковыряния в носу Сопли
The worst way to unclog a toilet More poop You're right! Keep pooping in there. Something's gotta give! Худшая причина, по которой придётся вернуться в туалет через минуту Недокакал
In the future, moviegoers will flock to see Jurassic Park 10: <BLANK> Asteroid Yeah, I'm really hoping we get struck with an asteroid before that happens В далёком будущем в кинотеатрах будут показывать фильм Парк юрского периода 10: <BLANK> Астероид
A weird thing for someone to frame and hang on the wall Placenta Yeah, put that placenta in a scrap book where it belongs. Странная вещь, которую можно повесить в рамку у себя дома Плацента
You know you're famous when... You're dating Taylor Swift Wow, dating Taylor Swift? Wonder how that's gonna turn out. Ты понимаешь, что теперь ты – знаменитость после того, как... Показали по телевизору
What a frog would say to his psychiatrist I'm afraid to croak (philsophically) Yes, who *isn't* afraid to croak? Who , I ask? Deep. Deep thinking, right here in a game of Quiplash. It's something we all face. (beat) Anyway, next stupid question! О чём лягушка будет говорить с психологом? Я боюсь квакать
Where Charlie Brown winds up at age 45 Prison Well, let's just hope he doesn't join the prison's football team. Где Фёдор Конюхов окажется после смерти? Ад
Why ducks really fly south in the winter Spring Break Yeah, you haven't lived until you've seen a taping of Ducks Gone Wild Почему утки улетают на юг осенью на самом деле? На каникулы
America's energy crisis would be over if we made cars that ran on <BLANK> Farts Yeah, farts! If cars ran on farts then I could go from New York to LA on just one smoothie! В России наконец-то начнут делать качественные автомобили после того, как будет изобретён двигатель, работающий на <BLANK> Пуканьи
It's incredibly rude to <BLANK> with your mouth open Vomit Yes, vomit. Proper etiquette says that you vomit into a closed mouth and when the opportunity arises, swallow it discreetly. Невероятно неприлично <BLANK> с открытым ртом Блевать


СмеXLыст (Quiplash XL)

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Вопрос на английском Ответ на английском Реакция Шмитти (английский) Вопрос на русском Ответ на русском Реакция Шмитти (русский)
A great brand name for extra-extra-large condoms Tarzan Well, Tarzan, Jane's a lucky lady.
What the genitalia on a Tofurky is called Tofenis Tofenis: the true alterna-meat.
You shouldn't get a massage at a place called <BLANK> Massage in a Bottle Yeah, don't go to Massage in a Bottle. Not only do they love terrible puns, but puns based on Sting songs.
The least romantic place to propose marriage Bathroom Bathroom? Depends. Are you peeing in the toilet at the time, or in a luxurious flower-petal bubble bath with your loved one, peeing in there?
You wouldn't want to share a prison cell with someone named <BLANK> Whoopi Goldberg Yea, it would be nothing but stories about Sister Act 2. (shudders)
Superman's special power that he never tells anyone about Super calligraphy And yet, that's the best “S” he can come up with.
The worst excuse for showing up late to work Abducted by aliens If you use the alien abduction bit, make sure you sell it by walking funny.
The worst thing to find stuck in your teeth Human flesh Human flesh! Yeah, there's nothing grosser than finding human flesh in your teeth, especially if you haven't eaten people since last week!
A better name for France Rudeland The best insult you can come up with is Rudeland? Those French bastards are going to eat you alive.
What aliens do with you after the anal probe Smoke a cigarette Smoking a cigarette after an anal probe--even aliens are cliche.
What makes hot dogs taste so good? Raccoon meat Racoon meat! Yeah, raccoon meat is tasty, but for a leaner version, may I suggest opossum?
What do kittens dream of? The day they catch the laser Yes! They'll catch the laser light and be hailed as a hero in a kitty-ticker tape parade. How adorable!
A more environment-friendly alternative to toilet paper Squirrels Squirrels, great idea. And, of course, flying squirrels for airplane bathrooms.
What tattoo should Justin Bieber get next? Satan So, a self-portrait?
Come up with a three-word sequel to the book “Eat, Pray, Love” Eat eat eat Eat eat eat. (eating) I could settle down with that book. (sfx: oven ding) Whoops my triple turducken is done.
The worst name for a race horse Elmer's Yeah, it's so sad that horses are made into glue. The only thing that makes me feel better...(mouth full) is eating this paste. Mmmm.
What two words would passengers never want to hear a pilot say? I'm drunk Drunk pilot? Okay, yes, a drunk pilot is bad. But have you tried flying over the Midwest? It's so booooring.
You would never go on a roller coaster called <BLANK> The decapitator The decapitator: where you have to be this tall to die.
The secret to a happy life Playing Quiplash Hey! You. Nobody likes a suck up.
If a winning coach gets Gatorade dumped on his head, what should get dumped on the losing coach? Powerade Powerade: We're just happy to get our name out there!
Name a candle scent designed specifically for Kim Kardashian Untalented C'mon! You don't think a big booty is talent?!
You should never give alcohol to <BLANK> A mogwai Yeah, because now you have a whole bunch of drunk mogwais. Good job, idiot!
Everyone knows that monkeys hate <BLANK> Sarcasm Yeah, monkeys hat sarcasm. I'll show you. (sfx: calm monkey noises) (sarcastic) Oh, everyone just looooves how you groom each other and fling your feces. (sfx: angry monkey noises) Ah! They're biting me!
The biggest downside to living in Hell Bad wifi Yeah, bad wi-fi and the only search engine is Ask Jeeves.
Jesus's REAL last words Ouch Ouch! Yeah, totally agree with that interpretation of the scripture. “Ouch” is just downplayed because it doesn't make an inspirational sign to hold up at sporting events.
The worst thing for an evil witch to turn you into Tampon I dunno. If a witch turned me into a tampon, I'd just suck it up.
The Skittles flavor that just missed the cut Dirty underwear I liked dirty underwear Skittles! But they leave a skid mark on your tongue.
On your wedding night, it would be horrible to find out that the person you married is <BLANK> Vegetarian Yeah, hopefully you signed a prenup or that vegetarian will get all of your cabbage.
A name for a really bad Broadway musical Linsday Lohan the Musical Lindsey Lohan the Musical starts out really cute, takes a five year intermission and comes back with a really depressing second act. Lots of nudity, though.
The first thing you would do after winning the lottery Buy more tickets Buy more tickets, yes! Look, if you won a million dollars of ONE ticket, think of how much you'll win buying a MILLION tickets!
What's actually causing global warming? Nothing Wait. Is this Sarah Palin? It's Sarah Palin everybody! (sfx: applause)
A name for a brand of designer adult diapers Abercrombie and Shits I want to buy Abercrombie and Shits (sfx: bleep), but the shirtless mall model in diapers intimidates me.
Name a TV drama that's about a vampire doctor Monster Mash Monster Mash, where every week our hero is faced with the familiar dilemma of sleeping with the beautiful werewolf doctor or the even more beautiful mummy nurse. Like a mirror to real life.
Something squirrels probably do when no one is looking Masturbate Yeah, you know they're always getting their nuts off.
The crime you would commit if you could get away with it Regicide You would kill a monarch? This was supposed to be a fun game and then you start talking about killing royalty. What the hell?
Come up with a great title for the next awkward teen sex movie Boner time Boner Time. Tagline: It's never a bad time for boners! (sfx: boing)
What's the Mona Lisa smiling about? She's not wearing pants Yep, she's not wearing pants. You know what? Neither am I.
A terrible name for a cruise ship Animal Love Boat Yes, come aboard the Animal Love Boat. We're expecting you...to be arrested as soon as you arrive.
What FDR meant to say was “We have nothing to fear, but <BLANK>” Chupacabra Yes, the chupacabra! I wish we had leaders today that would address the chupacabra problem. But nooooooo, they're all focused on pod people! Morons.
Come up with a title for an adult version of any classic video game The Legend of Zelda's Ass The Legend of Zelda's Ass: Where you go on a long journey only to discover that the treasure trunk is filled with junk.
The name of a font nobody would ever use Comic sans Comic sans. Yes, comic sans should ONLY be used for office signs in the kitchen.
Something you should never put on an open wound Ketchup Yeah, no ketchup! Especially if it's a Chicago-style open wound. You put mustard and relish on there!
Scientists say erosion, but we all know the Grand Canyon was actually made by <BLANK> My dick Your dick (sfx: bleep)? Really? Your dick (sfx: bleep) couldn't dig a ditch.
The real reason the dinosaurs died They crossed me Oh come on! You didn't have to kill them all because they crossed you. You could've just broken T-Rex's tiny, tiny arms.
Come up with the name of a country that doesn't exist Canada I knew it had to be fake! No real country wears that many jean jackets.
The best way to keep warm on a cold winter night Orgy Orgy, yes! I was trapped in the snow-covered Andes for five weeks and the only we could survive was to have orgy after orgy after orgy. Now, that we're home, we've scaled back to once a week.
A college major you don't see at many universities Coloring Coloring. Exactly. This is why I simply cannot find a good colorer these days. I've tried Angie's List, Yelp, everything.
What would make baseball more entertaining to watch? Make it football Yes, make it football! Baseball doesn't have nearly enough concussions!
The best thing about going to prison Free orange jumpsuit Yeah! Joke's on you, prison, because those orange jumpsuits run $10 at department stores.
The best title for a new national anthem for the USA Guns If I had to give the song Guns a grade, I would give it an NR-A.
Come up with the name of book that would sell a million copies, immediately The big book of boobs Yeah, I'm gonna wait for the Big Book of Boobs Kindle edition.
What would you do if you were left alone in the White House for an hour? Pass a law Yeah, like a law would actually get passed in Washington D.C.! You're living in a dream world!
Invent a family-friendly replacement word that you could say instead of an actual curse word Flufflepuff Flufflepuff? Do you know what that actually means you racist sack of crap?
A better name for testicles Man Orbs Man Orbs: because the male body is a mysterious thing.
The name of the reindeer Santa didn't pick to pull his sleigh Crasher Poor, crasher. No, seriously, he's poor due to his high insurance rates.
What's the first thing you would do if you could time travel? Eat a dinosaur You know dinosaur is high in cholesterol, right?
The name of a pizza place you should never order from Pizza Butt Pizza Butt. Yeah. Especially avoid Pizza Butt's stuffed crust.
A not-very-scary name for a pirate Johnny Depp Yeah, Johnny Depp would make a terrible pirate name, but he's still my favorite character created by Tim Burton.
Come up with a name for a beer made especially for monkeys High Life (overly amused, perhaps?) High Life! Because they live their lives up high! In trees! I get it! (proud) I GET IT!!!!
The best thing about living in an igloo Beer always cold Yes, the beers always cold, but you need a knife and fork to eat it.
The worst way to be murdered With a spoon A spoon? Hey, better than a spork.
Something you shouldn't get your significant other for Valentine's Day A scale A scale. Yeah, that would be bad. The only way a scale might go over is if you buy a commercial scale used for weighing beef and they think it's too huge to not be hilarious.
A dangerous thing to do while driving Load a gun Yeah, but sometimes you have to load your gun on the go in this crazy modern world. So, don't judge.
Something you shouldn't wear to a job interview Wife beater Especially if it's a wife beater WITHOUT a tie.
The #1 reason penguins can't fly They're lazy Too lazy! Not surprising. If you were born already in a tuxedo, what's there to work for?
Using only two words, a new state motto for Texas Bush Country Bush Country! You're talking about the political family, not one of the other two kinds of bushes, right?
The hardest thing about being Batman Cleaning the cave Yeah, do you know how hard it is to scrub bat shit (sfx: bleep) out of things?
A great way to kill time at work Working Working is a great way to kill time at work! Why haven't I thought of that yet?
Come up with a really bad TV show that starts with “Baby” Baby cop Baby cops. They keep getting distracted when you jangle the jail keys in front of them.
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean? Gravity Congraulations, smart ass. You're technically right. Everyone stand up and give this jerk a hand. (sfx: clapping) C'mon! Do it!
What's wrong with these kids today? Rock music Rock music? Are you the dad from Footloose?
A great new invention that starts with “Automatic” Automatic buttscratcher Have you gotten so lazy that you won't spend the energy to scratch your own butt? Me too. Welcome to the club.
Come up with a really bad football penalty that begins with “Intentional” Sucking If Intentional sucking was a thing, the Raiders would tally up even more penalties.
A Starbucks coffee that should never exist Capoochino Well, if a Capoochino grosses you out, I won't tell you how they froth that foam.
There's Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff, but what's the Hogwarts house few have ever heard of? Suckandpuff Suckenpuff? You're thinking of the Hogwart's *fraternity*.
The worst words to say for the opening of a eulogy at a funeral He was an asshole Yeah, calling them an asshole (sfx: bleep) is probably a better way to close.
Something you should never use as a scarf Anaconda Anaconda? Yeah, I tried to do that but my anaconda don't. Want. None. ... of that.
Invent a holiday that you think everyone would enjoy Spanksgiving And while Spanksgiving day itself is great, I prefer the following day: Smack Friday.
The best news you could get today It's not contagious It's not contagious? Thank god. I was so worried.
Usually, it's bacon, lettuce and tomato, but come up with a BLT you wouldn't want to eat Boogers Lint and Toenails Boogers, lint and toenails or as it's called at most delis, the Lindsey Lohan.
The worst thing you could stuff a bed mattress with Spiders Exactly. Spiders are better for pillows. (sfx: crunch) So comfortable.
A great opening line to start a conversation with a stranger at a party I see dead people At least saying “I see dead people” lets people know that they'll be suffering through a night of references from 2001. Shag-a-delic!
Something you would like to fill a swimming pool with Pudding Pudding. Okay, as long as it's not tapioca. That's just weird.
Miley Cyrus' Wi-Fi password, possibly teddybearhumper teddybearhumper would be a great password because it contains one gross character.
If you were allowed to name someone else's baby any weird thing you wanted, what would you name it? Cookie Masterson Cookie [even if Cookie isn't the host of the game] That is clearly the correct answer.
A fun thing to think about during mediocre sex Game of Thrones Just be careful not to yell out “Winter is coming!”
You know you're in for a bad taxi ride when <BLANK> Your driver dies Dead driver, yeah. And what really sucks is that you *will* get charged a cleanup fee.
Where do babies come from? Krypton Well, one baby came from Krypton. You know. What's his face? Larry King.
The terrible fate of the snowman Olaf in a director's cut of Frozen Made into snowcones Snowcone, huh? Yeah, but that would be the healthiest snowcone in history because it has a carrot in it.
Sometimes, after a long day, you just need to <BLANK> Kick a squirrel Kick a squirrel?! Are you crazy? PETA has cameras everywhere now!
The worst way to spell Mississippi Butthole (as if at spelling bee) Butthole. B-u, t-t-i, u-t-i-, t-hole. Butthole.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't spank you right now I don't have a butt You have no butt?! Where's your anus, on your leg? And... which leg?
The best pick-up line for an elderly singles mixer I've fallen in love and I can't get up Aha! Yea, the old, help, I've fallen joke. Classic! Good one.
A good stage name for a chimpanzee stripper" Ape-ril (stripper announcer voice) Please, welcome to the banana stage, Ape-ril! (sfx: chimpanzee screams) Again, please refrain from flinging your feces instead of dollar bills.
The best place to bury all those bodies Enemy's backyard My enemy's backyard?! How's that supposed to help me? There is no “enemy's backyard” anymore... my enemy's the person I killed! ... I mean... nothing.
One place a finger shouldn't go Peehole Peehole. Why did you say peehole? That's hurting me just thinking about it. Peehole.
Come up with a name for the most difficult yoga pose known to mankind Downward hog Yeah, I've heard the downward hog is tough. You have to put on 200 pounds, then do the downward dog.
What's lurking under your bed when you sleep? Mormons Look, the Mormons under your bed just want to talk to you for five minutes. That's it.
The name of a canine comedy club with puppy stand-up comedians Laugha Apso Yeah, Laugha Apso is great place to hear great comedic observations like “Aren't yellow labs really lame?”
A great name for a nude beach in Alaska Blue ball beach I tried to get to blue ball beach, but traffic was bad and I just couldn't get there. I took a short cut, BUT I. JUST. COULDN'T. GET. TO BLUE BALL BEACH! AH!
Make up the title of a movie that is based on the first time you had sex The Neverending Story (super sarcastic) We get it. You can last a long long time in bed. Whoop de friggin' do!
A vanity license plate a jerk in an expensive car would get WINNING Yeah, the only thing someone with a WINNING license plate would be winning is a game of “who can get run off the road by my Toyota Corolla the fastest.”
A good catchphrase to yell every time you finish pooping Operation Dumbo Drop I really hope yelling Operation Dumbo Drop in public toilet stalls becomes a thing.
Your personal catchphrase if you were on one of those Real Housewives shows I'm crazy I... feel like “I'm crazy” is implied.
The Katy Perry Super Bowl halftime show would have been better with <BLANK> Sharks IT ALREADY HAD SHARKS! DON'T YOU GO STEALING KATY PERRY'S PRE-EXISTING IDEAS!
Okay... fine! What do YOU want to talk about then?!!! Philosophy I believe it was the great philosopher Plato who once said, “You're full of shit (sfx: bleep).”
Miller Lite beer would make a lot of money if they came up with a beer called Miller Lite _____ NOT! Miller Lite Not: it tastes great, it's less filling, and it's not Miller Lite at all.
Something you should never stick up your butt Burrito Yeah, don't stick a burrito up your butt--a fast food restaurant already has that trademarked.
A terrible name for a clown Suckles Suckles!? Did you see our kickstarter video by any chance?!? Stealer!!!
An inappropriate thing to do at a cemetery Live Yeah, don't mock all the ghosts with your alive-ness. Just get out, you're being a jerk.
Like chicken fingers or chicken poppers, a new appetizer name for your fun, theme restaurant: chicken _____ Faces Order a plate of chicken faces and get the beaks for free!
Thing you'd be most surprised to have a dentist find in your mouth His penis Oh, real nice, real nice. That is totally sexist! You could just as easy find a dentist's vagina in your mouth!
Rename Winnie-the-Pooh to something more appropriate/descriptive Winnie-the-Pantless Hold on... Winnie the Pantsless isn't MORE appropriate!
Name the sequel to Titanic if there were one. Titanic 2: <BLANK> Cruise Control (laughing) Yeah, like anybody would be dumb enough to actually name a boat movie “cruise control”!
An alternate use for a banana Back scratcher Yeah, use it as a back scratcher but learn from my mistake and.. don't peel it beforehand.
What you'd guess is an unadvertised ingredient in most hot dogs Orphans Orphans. Make sense. But remember, according to the food pyramid, you should only have 1-2 servings of orphans per day.
  • Во всех версиях Смехлыста есть дополнительная пасхалка, в котором, если все игроки не ответят на свои вопросы, Шмитти автоматически завершает игру
  • В Смертельной Вечеринке 2, одной из мини-игр Комнаты Смерти для двух игроков, является Смехлыст со Шмитти. Некоторые вопросы являются нормальными, но некоторые указывают на то, что он был похищен тамадой. Хотя правила игры те же, игрок, который в конечном итоге проиграет, умрёт. Игроки также умрут, если они не смогут отправить ответ вовремя.
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